13/04/2025
GIVE CONFLICT A CHANCE WITH 'FRIENDLY FIRE' (My new conflict workshop!!!)
I was in my early 30s, testing boundaries and pushing the buttons of the local political establishment, when Dad made the observation, âIf you were in Russia, youâd be deadâ.
I was no Alexei Navalny (may he rest in power), but I was a disruptor. I didnât like the way power worked in my hometown. I believed it was anti-democratic, anti-merit and pro- âwho-you-knowâ over âwhat-you-knowâ. That annoyed me.
My resistance to the prevailing culture was strongly held. I also had a rebellious streak and nothing to lose. I was young, educated and employable. I was child-free and could escape to anywhere in the world if I wanted to. I figured if they ran me out of town, Iâd go to America and get a job on Capitol Hill. I mean, what could possibly go wrong in American politics. Right?
They didnât run me out of town, but they gave it a fair crack. There were code of conduct reports and letters to employers requesting disciplinary action. But the black balling from job opportunities and the âyouâll never work in this town againâ threats, just didnât faze me. On the occasions that they tried and failed, my mind would play that closing scene of Inspector Gadget, where Dr Claw would yell, âIâll get you next time, Gadget. Next time!â
When I was first elected to Council, (waaaayyy) back in 2012, most of my colleagues thought I was a troublemaker, which I probably was. But they assumed the wrong motive. Theyâd say I was chasing trouble for troubleâs sake. But Iâd say it was for the bigger purpose of shaking and dislodging a fundamentally toxic leadership culture that hoarded power, monopolised opportunities and stifled progress.
I remember being told âthe wayâ I did things (ie by exercising free speech) was undermining cohesion and unity in the Council chamber. My response was that if they wanted unity, they should cross the floor and agree with me.
In my early days of activism, testing relationships and making enemies felt like an inevitable part of the job. It wasnât easy or pleasant, but my conviction trumped my discomfort. By necessity, I developed a very high threshold for conflict.
But amid it all, a remarkable thing happened. I was somehow able to maintain a lot of relationships. Though I burned a lot of bridges, I became equally adept at rebuilding them. I think that had something to do with authenticity. As for the bigger picture, I did pretty well on that front too. I believe my efforts gave our region a level of political relevance that has changed and, in some cases, saved lives.
If I zoom into the micro, I can see some situations I would have handled differently. But if I zoom out to the macro, I see the transformative power of leaning into conflict, speaking up when you have something to say, and learning the skills to maintain and repair relationships along the way.
That is how, from perhaps the most unlikely of places, I have started teaching people about conflict. Not from a place of âI never fight with anyone, and I can teach you how to never fight with anyone tooâ, but from a place of âI have fought with almost everyone, and been able to achieve important things because of that, and have been able to maintain, repair and strengthen many relationships in the processâ. Itâs wordy, but true.
My first conflict workshop titled âFriendly Fire: A conscious and proactive approach to conflictâ is about to be launched. It is designed for every type of team, with scientific tools, evidence-based techniques, colourful reflections and plenty of war stories about how a brave, restorative and conscious approach to conflict can make it a force for good.
If youâre conflict-curious and tempted to give conflict a chance, get in touch and weâll send you a detailed program. Itâs gonna be fun đ
AC.
[email protected]
www.locusmediation.com.au
[Pictured: AC at State Election campaign launch, 2014]
