09/13/2026
I attended a webinar recently where the conversation turned to family legacy, traditions, and the kind of family we are intentionally building.
One example that really stayed with me was the Rockefeller family.
Not because they were wealthy.
But because of what the example revealed about how values can be intentionally passed from one generation to another.
It made me think about something we often miss as parents.
We tell our children what we value.
But do we create systems and rituals that allow them to actually experience those values?
If we say, "We are a family of faith," what does that look like in our weekly rhythm?
If we say, "We are a family that serves," where are the opportunities for our children to serve?
If we say, "We build leaders," where are we allowing our children to make decisions, take responsibility, lead something and even fail?
If we say, "We build wealth," are we teaching them only how to make money, or also how to manage, invest, give and steward it?
This is where I think family traditions become much more powerful.
Value â Practice â Ritual â Culture â Identity
A value written on the wall is an intention.
A value practiced repeatedly becomes culture.
And culture eventually shapes identity.
So perhaps we should sit down as a family and ask three questions:
1. Who are we becoming?
Every family needs a vision beyond simply "being a good family."
What do we want our family to be known for?
2. Which three values must become visible?
Don't just list values.
Choose the ones you want people to be able to see in the way your family lives.
3. What rituals will reinforce those values?
Create something repeatable.
A monthly family service activity.
A family history night where stories, mistakes and lessons are shared.
A regular family prayer or Scripture time.
A family leadership responsibility for the children.
A monthly conversation about money and stewardship.
Even a safe space where children can talk about their failures without immediately being judged or shamed.
Because children are going to fail.
The question is whether we create an environment where they can fail, learn, adjust and grow.
I came away from the webinar thinking about this differently:
We shouldn't only ask what we are doing as a family.
We should ask:
"What is what we repeatedly do turning us into?"
Traditions are powerful not simply because they are repeated.
They are powerful because what is repeated eventually becomes culture, and culture shapes identity.
So don't just create family activities.
Create rituals that help shape the family you want your children, and eventually your grandchildren, to inherit.
Legacy isn't only what we leave behind.
It is also what we intentionally build into those who come after us.
