28/01/2026
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐?
I remember running a team with one guy who habitually arrived late to meetings. Not quietly late. The kind of late that involved a grand entrance, a smirk, and a few well-placed cynical comments to kick the positivity out of the room.
He was clever, bright, genuinely witty but had decided his work persona was disruptive maverick. Or perhaps saboteur. He did this everywhere he sat and it was directed at whoever was running the meeting.
It took a short while for me to recognise it for what it was: a tactic. His way of shifting the mood and pulling attention towards himself.
What didnโt work was trying to smooth things over or managing everyone elseโs reaction. Some people were genuinely wound up by him, others were curious to see what impact it was having on the target but nobody said anything and the mood would become agitated and irritable.
What made the difference was shining a bright light onto his behaviour. When he arrived late, I had prepared the whole room to applaud him for finally turning up. When he made a negative quip, he was asked โ politely โ to repeat it. Louder. And then to elaborate.
And then โฆ. it all stopped.
Once his behaviour became the focus and not the tension it created, he lost his power. And we were all a lot happier and able to get on with things.
This is, I think, where many leaders get stuck.
Reading the room is a real and necessary skill. But at some point, reading the room can turn into you trying to control it. You try to carry the moods. You manage the temperature. You carry what isnโt yours.
My experience is that this is seen more often in women - not because we are wired this way, but because many of us were taught early that โkeeping things pleasantโ is part of whatโs expected of us.
The shift in attitude that matters is this: Manage the work, not the mood.
Thereโs also a bigger point here. A good working environment isnโt created by any one person managing the mood. Itโs created when everyone in the team takes responsibility for how they show up. Iโm not advocating the gospel of the relentlessly cheery - who wants that? But it is laying it out there that your behaviour impacts on your colleagues and vice versa, so acting collectively with a basic level of consideration is a win win for everyone.
When something isnโt working, the answer isnโt suffering in silence or using emotional smoothing to cover stuff up. Itโs having a forum where issues can be named, discussed, and dealt with - without theatrics or blame. Or being accessible and approachable to take the issue offline and deal with it appropriately. Thatโs how the most intelligent and joyful workplaces stay supportive and productive. Call out the behaviour, not the personality. Bring conversations back to purpose and decision making. Let adults have their feelings without herding them.
If you find yourself absorbing the emotional weight of your workplace, good coaching can offer a protected space to step back, untangle what youโre carrying, and decide more deliberately what belongs to you โ and what doesnโt.
Leadership isnโt emotional housekeeping. Itโs creating conditions where people take responsibility for themselves.
Iโm really curious โ how do you deal with persistent negativity in meetings without draining your own energy?
