24/08/2026
Security starts with you.
Is how Mondayly's? Manze since Monday ni vibe niko hapa kuwachanua, Sio? Walahi weekend imekuwa aje? Hizo ma excuses za Monday kutoripoti wera raundi hii zii.
Hii nayo ni chonjo! Mko na Risto ya Otis? Yule wa Larger Than Life? Amewahi CX5. Weauh! Soupped-up music surround, you might think the whole Luthuli Avenue speakers are on his car. Colour ni red but anasema inaitwa Vermilion! Yawa!! No tint, why hide? “Pesa Otas.”
Weekend ishafika. Footwear ni Oxford black with a bottom silver lining, an edition look of AMG. 2 phones kwa mkono, one for the other gender and one for bizz. Na k**a kawa, lazima afike ocha, kila raia amtambue na pia apate blessing za Bazenga against evils toward his CX5, and not to forget the many Totois who may have no good intentions. Tunawaona!!
Mapema 10AM Otis ako Great Lake. Sherehe inaanza. Hakuna haja ya kuhire sound system, ride yenyewe ndiyo system. Every creature in the neighbourhood is aware of Otis' presence. Bosco na Simba can't bark against power, no waging of their tails!! Njoro wa Probo, who supplies the drink, is told to supply to the guzzlers in litres format and advised not to park his car near the showstopper car!! Ni k**a movie, ni k**a drama.
Sherehe iko episode one kimwecheche. Kuparty, food zenye nazionanga kwa IG ziko live bila filters, big English words not found in African dictionaries are competing with telco signals within the vicinity. Neighbours in Otis' compound dressed in their Sunday best on Saturday just to meet and greet the power Otis!
Kufunga na kufungua macho. Sunday morning ndiyo hiyo ishafika, mablessing kibao. Bazenga anabless RIDE. Mama Otis anauliza utaoa lini? Otis is like, choices ndiyo mingi mum. Ogopa hii generation. Weauh!
Maafternoon, Otis is back enroute to Nairobi. Along the way, he notices a familiar face, only to stop the car and realise it's a look-alike. Look-alike anasmile at Otis and she's like, “Naitwa Violet. Please nipe ride juu buses zimestrike.” Otis can't resist the beauty. “Bag ni ya nini?” And Otis presses the button at the stage and everybody stops to see a boot open by itself. Violet puts the bag at the back and Otis tells her to sit in the cockpit and enjoy the view and the power of the machines.
Otis speeds up, leaving the pedestrians discussing Maajabu ya Musa pale Red Sea, about how the vehicle boot closes itself automatically. On the way, full volume, but still talking. Otis talks about how his machine delivers between 18 kilometres per litre, his new iPhone 18 being manufactured under his wish, how next week he has a flight to Dubai! Only thing missing as he speaks is the Atasa sound effect.
A few kilometres toward the city, police roadblock. The police signal him to stop. “Habari zenu. We are doing a routine check.” Otis is relaxed. Then he asks the officer to wear patrol gloves before they touch his Machines! Boys with their machine 🙂 As the discussion is going on, Violet excuses herself to go for a short call in the nearby bush. Something that does not sit well with Otis.
Then, as the boot opens, design ya Red Sea, the officer notices a bag. “Ni yako hii?” “Ni ya Voyager.” Police is like, “Weauh!! Voyager ni nani?” Otis: “Voyager yawa, ni passenger!” The police is like, “We have seen this before.” 30 minutes wait, turn to an hour. Kwani Voyager alienda for a bush party? Little did they know passenger ameenda kisiaka-siaka. Not coming back. Gone.
The officer opens the bag. Inside is drugs concealed. And suddenly, the morning has changed. The Violet who was simply “asking for a lift” is nowhere to be found. Otis is still there. The car is his. The boot is his. The bag is in his car. And the questions are now his to answer. “Bag ni ya nini?”
Otis has no idea. But try explaining that to the police. Big vocabulary are turning into sweat in weird places like nose and ears. English now turns into Swahili. “Mimi iko saidia dada arudi Nairobi.”
Ghafla bin vuu. Our DCI boys who can stop in the middle of choma and pursue their cause and take care of Kenyans are called in. They get into the vicinity with Lightning's speed and get into action. And since they can sniff offenders from the vicinity, search begins. And within the vicinity, the “pedi” is apprehended. Confirmed!
Otis is back to factory setting. Big words full of power, “Magnanimous to the boys.” Our boys look at him directly, eye contact. Otis looks back and, as usual, has the final word. “Kazi safi, wanzito!!”
Mondayly’s, being Kenyan means we help each other. We give lifts. We stop for someone stranded by the roadside. We help where we can. Ni vile tunado. But when it comes to strangers and their luggage… Usibebe usichojua. Helping someone is a good deed. But before you put their luggage in your car, know what’s inside.
. Call 0800 722 203 (Toll-free) or WhatsApp at 0709 570 000 to report anonymously. Usiogope!
