21/08/2026
YOU CAN DROP THE TITLE WITHOUT DROPPING THE RESPECT
The conversation around renowned African business leader Tony Elumelu correcting a young lady who addressed him simply as “Tony” has become bigger than that brief exchange.
Some people believe she was disrespectful.
Others argue that first-name culture is normal in many modern organisations and international environments.
Some have shared another interview at Stanford where Mr Tony Elumelu himself was addressed simply as “Tony” by another young woman.
Others have introduced the question of Cultural Intelligence—the ability to understand the people, environment, relationship and context before deciding how to behave.
I have come across these different perspectives, and I think there is a deeper lesson here.
Let me begin with something that may surprise some people:
I DON'T LIKE TITLES.
People who have worked closely with me over the years know this.
My staff know it.
My mentees know it.
People who have followed me closely know it.
Those who regularly attend our training programmes know it.
My staff won't even attach unnecessary titles to my name while inviting me to speak at any of our trainings because they know I won't accept it. Anywhere you hear such titles being attached to my name at one of our programmes, just know the moderator is most likely an external person.
I have said it publicly several times, even on different stages:
Don't attach unnecessary titles to my name.
I'm Isaac Ajisafe.
At some point, I began hearing all kinds of titles attached to my name, including “Pastor Isaac Ajisafe,” when, at the time, I hadn't even come close to ordination, let alone received one. 😄
I deliberately pushed back.
I don't want them.
I just don't like titles.
Why?
Because I have always believed that titles don't make people great.
Think about many of the people whose names have travelled beyond their generations.
We say Abraham.
We say Jesus.
We say Nelson Mandela.
We say Billy Graham.
We say John C. Maxwell.
We say Steve Jobs.
We say Bill Gates.
We say Oprah Winfrey.
We say Chinua Achebe.
We say Wole Soyinka.
Their significance is not dependent on the titles attached to their names.
A title may describe your position, office or qualification, but it is not what gives your name significance.
GREATNESS EVENTUALLY MAKES THE NAME CARRY ITS OWN WEIGHT.
Personally, if I am trusting God to make my name great, then I would rather focus on becoming the person He has called me to be than accumulating titles before my name.
That is why, over the years, I have deliberately discouraged people from attaching unnecessary titles to my name.
That philosophy has influenced the culture around me.
But here is where the conversation becomes interesting:
REMOVING TITLES DOES NOT MEAN REMOVING RESPECT.
There is a difference between calling someone's name and knowing HOW to call someone's name.
That distinction is important.
For instance, within SBM Business School or any of our organisations, I do not require people to load my name with honorifics.
A member of staff could appropriately say:
“Our Principal Consultant, Isaac Ajisafe…”
Or simply:
“The Principal Consultant…”
In another organisational context:
“Our CEO, Isaac Ajisafe…”
And among my mentees and followers:
“Our leader, Isaac Ajisafe…”
“Our mentor, Isaac Ajisafe…”
Or simply:
“SBM…”
There is no unnecessary collection of titles.
Yet respect has not disappeared.
Now compare that with someone much younger than I am standing before an audience and casually saying:
“Good morning Isaac.”
Same name.
Completely different effect.
That is why I think part of the conversation around Heirs Holdings Chairman Tony Elumelu is being reduced too quickly to:
“Should she have called him Tony or not?”
For me, that is not the biggest question.
THE BIGGER QUESTION IS:
DID SHE READ THE RELATIONSHIP, THE ROOM AND THE MOMENT CORRECTLY?
Imagine a different opening:
“Good morning sir. It is a privilege to engage one of Africa's most accomplished business leaders, Tony Elumelu…”
No “Mr.”
No “Chairman.”
Yet you can hear the respect.
Or:
“Good morning sir. Let me stand on existing protocol and appreciate one of the remarkable business minds Africa has produced, Tony Elumelu…”
Again, his name remains Tony Elumelu.
But the language establishes honour before familiarity.
That is the distinction.
YOU DON'T NECESSARILY NEED A TITLE TO SHOW RESPECT.
But you need judgement.
And this is where Cultural Intelligence becomes important.
What works inside one organisation may not work in another.
What works in America may require adjustment in Nigeria.
What works between colleagues may not work between a trainee and the Chairman.
What works after someone has said, “Please call me Tony,” may not be appropriate before that permission has been given.
And even within organisations that operate a first-name culture, relationship and context still matter.
This is why the Stanford clip where Mr Tony Elumelu was addressed as “Tony” does not settle the entire argument.
It actually reinforces the lesson:
CONTEXT MATTERS.
If an environment establishes first-name interaction, understand it.
If an environment establishes greater formality, understand that too.
And if you are completely unsure about how to address someone, begin with a respectful form of address. Let the person be the one to tell you to drop it.
“Good morning sir.”
“Good morning ma.”
There is nothing inferior about that.
If someone explicitly tells you, “Call me Isaac,” don't manufacture a title I have rejected.
And this is where I have seen many people, even around me, still miss the point.
But don't interpret my rejection of titles as permission to abandon respect, courtesy, protocol or professional judgement.
Those are two different things.
There is another side of this conversation we must not ignore.
I don't believe the young lady should be bullied, insulted or turned into the symbol of everything supposedly wrong with her generation.
That is excessive.
We should also remember that standing before someone of Mr Tony Elumelu's stature, with an audience watching, takes considerable confidence in itself.
Under that kind of pressure, even a well-prepared person can miss a word, choose the wrong expression or momentarily misread the situation.
That doesn't mean we shouldn't correct what needs to be corrected.
But we should be careful not to turn one imperfect moment into a complete judgement of someone's character, plaster her picture all over the internet with negative narratives, and subject her to the kind of public humiliation and emotional pressure that could push someone into depression.
We don't always know what people are dealing with privately or how much they can emotionally carry.
Correction is necessary. Public destruction is not.
We cannot preach respect while humiliating someone in the name of teaching respect.
From the exchange that has circulated, Mr Tony Elumelu corrected her and the conversation continued.
There is a lesson in that too.
CORRECTION DOES NOT REQUIRE CONDEMNATION.
Someone can misread a moment without being an arrogant person.
Someone can make an etiquette mistake without having a character defect.
And someone who accepts correction should be allowed to learn and move forward.
So, for me, this conversation is not fundamentally about Mr Tony Elumelu.
It is not fundamentally about one young lady.
And it certainly should not become a generational war between “Gen Z” and older Nigerians.
It is about something every emerging professional and leader needs:
SITUATIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
Know the culture.
Know the relationship.
Know the environment.
Know the occasion.
Read the room.
And when uncertain, begin from the side of respect.
You can always become less formal when permission is established.
Recovering from inappropriate familiarity can be much harder.
I don't believe titles make people great.
I probably never will.
But I believe deeply in honour, courtesy, protocol and respect.
And perhaps that is the distinction this entire conversation should teach us:
DROP THE TITLE IF YOU MUST.
BUT DON'T DROP THE RESPECT.
Respect is not merely what comes before a person's name.
Sometimes, it is revealed by everything you say before you ever mention the name.
— Isaac Ajisafe
