13/12/2020
WHAT NEXT, WHEN LOVE FADES?🤔
"I Once Loved Him With All My Heart. But Now, I Don't Know What's Going On. I Feel Nothing For Him Any Longer. It's Not As If He Offended Me. But I Just Don't Feel Anything For Him Again. All The Vibes, Feelings And All That, Have Gone. Sometimes I Feel I Should Just End EVERYThing With Him. But I Still Think I'll Be Heartless, Leaving Someone Who Hasn't Offended Me In Any Way. Please Meshach, What Do I Do?"
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If your relationship hits this point, then it's an indication that, that relationship is already on its way to maturity.
It is pertinent we note that there are unavoidable phases ALL relationships, I repeat ALL RELATIONSHIPS must pass through.
The first phase which I call the INFANT phase is characterized or dominated with prematured feelings.
It is a phase where you see the other person as your Miss or Mr Right or even COMPLETE HALF.
In other words, the infant stage is that phase of relationship where you don't see any flaws in that partner. Anything and everything they do seem so right and perfect to you.
You aren't the midnight call type, but once their call comes in by 12:00am in the night, you're ever ready to pick it up, and then talk till the next morning.
This is a phase where you think of them, than you think of anybody or anything else.
But Guess What...just after this phase, comes the PRE-COMMITMENT phase, where the feelings you once developed for him or her, suddenly disappeared.
Now, their midnight call becomes disturbing to you, their jokes seemed dried, outing with them seem boring... In fact, nothing they do, impresses you any longer.
In the INFANT stage, if millions of handsome or beautiful guys/ladies are presented before you, none would seem appealing to you. No matter how handsome or beautiful they may be, you still believe strongly within you that your partner is more beautiful or handsome than they are.
Nevertheless, in the PRE-COMMITMENT phase when feelings fade, your eyes would start seeing those faces that are more handsome, beautiful, cute, intelligent than that your one time MR or MISS RIGHT.
This is a phase you start comparing the love and care you're receiving from others, to the one your partner is giving you.
Two things happen in this phase. Lack of feelings may either:
1... let you go for someone else that you think is better, or
2...decide to stay with this very person, irrespective of what you feel at that phase.
If you decide to choose the latter, what happens is that, you have unconsciously moved your relationship from the PRE-COMMITMENT level to full COMMITMENT PHASE, where you make conscious effort to love, whether there be feelings or no feelings.
The commitment phase is characterized not with FEELINGS, but with conscious decision to love, and stay with this person, no matter the number of handsome and beautiful faces, intelligent and cute people that may come your way.
And once you do this, overtime, your relationship swims into what I call the MATURITY phase.
The question is, what if you choose to let go of that person with the relationship, and then go for those whom you think are better than him or her in all way round, just because you now feel nothing for them, then what happens?
If you do this, you'll still find yourself in this very phase of PRE-COMMITMENT, in the new relationship.
Yes! No matter how much you think you love the new person, a time will still come when that relationship will hit this same phase and you wouldn't still feel anything for them.
The question is, will you continuously run away when feelings fade?
It is high time we imbibed the fact that, love is not feelings.
Yes, though love has elements of feelings, it is not all about what we feel for the other person.
Rather, love is a conscious decision to love an imperfect person in a perfect way.
Do you get that? Love is not when the other person doesn't offend you.
Love is when your eyes are opened to the other person's flaws, but you still decide to love and care for them no matter what they do.
You must understand today that you don't fall in love with a body. You fall in love with a soul; and once in love with a soul, everything about that person changes.
Love Goes Beyond The Tiny Feelings You Develop For Someone Else.
Love Is seen in Loving a pr******te, a thief, a liar, a hot tempered person etc, as though they are saints.
Hence, when feelings fade, it is not a reason to let them go, but an avenue to ignite the fading passion, interest, feelings with commitment.
It's only in this manner that your relationship can swim into maturity phase.
DO HAVE A BLISSFUL day and happy Sunday to you all
From Your boy dibang Emmanuel igbamidara Aka GRACEBOY