19/10/2017
I get so uncomfortable keeping this with me everyday.
I don't want this to be behind me nor behind him... because this is the usual story we hear when the other party is gone.
A very good friend of mine I happened to meet online lost her darling husband.
This shocked me to the bone, not because we lost another soul... But perhaps because this couples promised to be our neighbors and they already contacted my hubby to help them sort that.
I'd never seen them, not even in my dream but my mind never stopped going to them as I always try my friend's number after the lost of her hubby, even till today, but it had never been going through.
I logged into Facebook one day and it was the story of how awesome this man was. Oh my God, even the way he was described will make you shed tears for him.
So caring, loving, supportive , cool, religious and all... to such an extent that it was strange men in a strange land that catered for his loving family.
And I kept wondering...
Why didn't we know all these while he was alive at least to break the cycle of bad men stories and perhaps to pray for him?
Hum um... Yes there are bad men and bad women, there are also good men and good men...good people are here and there too.
Since then, I'd always wanted to scream to you about my hubby but usually I'd end up withdrawing...
Sometimes I'd just be short of words to describe him!
Sometimes fear of evil eye!
Sometimes to avoid a kinda show off!
But tonight I'm breaking it!
You know why?
I'm not feeling too good and I need to spill this now perhaps it may help a soul...
I want just only one person to breathe a new breath of hope, energy, reassurance and love.
I want only one person to know that no matter how bad a situation can be, it can suddenly change.
For this, please share with anyone you can without seeking my permission.
I'm still short of words honestly.
OK so anyhow...uh
I met this man while we were both an undergraduate in the same university.
At this time, I'd made up my mind that I wasn't getting married as I felt I couldn't cope with the challenges and restrictions that comes with marriage.
I was in part 2 studying Chemical Engineering while he was in part 4 studying Estate Management... Two young people you think?
Well, someone connected us and I was just like... Lemme act along but to my surprise, that day's chemistry was strong and I was feeling gishgish one kain sha.
According to our religious believe, once we make our findings and pray for guidance, we don't do courtship. That was how he just went to my dad like that o and I was like haha sharp sharp?
In a month of our first meeting, we tied the knot with both our parents there... You know that sitting room wedding kinda thing?
An elaborate wedding was scheduled for after my graduation but it never come again as we started loosing our parents just before I write my final papers.
First my mummy, who was our support, following year my dad, following year his dad and that's how till today we have only one parent... May God spare her upon good health and goodness.
*Never Procrastinate Anything of Importance, your future perfect time may never come*
That was how our journey sha began in my parent's house while on holiday.
So we resumed school and rented an apartment.
Moved there with no bed nor belongings but we were shaa using love to console our hungry self.
I got pregnant with our first child while I was in part 4, he was having extra year due to one special elective like that.
We did everything to prevent that but no no... It'd been destined, there's a reason!
He got a job with a real estate firm and he started collecting 15k salary... This was a big money o.
We would safe for the foetus and feed ourselves.
Did I tell you he was told not to marry me because I get stainless hand?
OK now you know but his mind was fixed too shebi I told you that the chemistry was strong.
He decided to ask me about my laziness and I remember vividly my reply... "So can't you wash your clothes by yourself?", his reply after that was that he's in love with my honesty because a lot of ladies will rather cover it up and hook up a lie just to be with a man.
I was also in love with his honesty when I asked him about his source of livelihood me thinking he's a son of a rich man. His response was that he's actually being sponsored because his parents can't afford his education but he also started rearing bee even thou all his constructed beehives were packed away from their hideout before resumption and so he started printing business.
Eventually, this man found out that nah stainless hand I get...thou not due to laziness, but due to weakness of my bones(Calcium deficient kinda).
This man will go to work, buy food, come home to cook, wash plate, fetch water, wash my clothes and I'd just be there doing "my baby shey you see what happen on campus today" while we laugh together.
OK I know how to do few things well...like using my brain(hahaha don't expect less of an Engineering girl o), acting girly (you know what girls do nah?(winks)...
Haha, my coursemate knew him them while we were writing my IT report and my final year project work... We'd both go to the campus, me I'll just go and be sleeping somewhere while he'd be writing, drawing and fixing the rough work I gave him to figure out. This is after he must have gone to work and returned, and then give us food.
I don't know why I was spoilt like that sha but God knows that's the best for me.
This man will use his remaining change to get demanding food for his preggo wife because I couldn't eat most food then, while he sometimes trek or borrow.
I remember how he took this job so mindfully such that his boss didn't want to release him again.
He would do everything to make sure he was accountable for even one naira of this man, going early and closing at the exact time as agreed on paper and me sometimes wondered why he wouldn't rush home to meet me!
He wasn't a perfect guy, neither me, so expect non perfect relationship even thou we were awarded best couple of the year amidst our cliques.
Actually we were a typical tom and jerry.
Well...
We moved here and the story continued.
We had our great challenges, it was tough, really tough; money, homelessness while we managed around moving from a relative house to the other, he slept in the mosque.
At a time, it was as if we weren't meant for each other as family too would try to add to the pain, we wanted to part our ways but God made us to be together for a reason... We've been destined to be.
So with his job, we get fed, I sometimes would cook and do little chores while he'd do the majority.
While in this working place, he had a company phone, anytime he used this phone to call me perhaps when he ran out of airtime of his personal line, he would record the amount used and pay it up. He would do the same thing anytime with similar case.
He'll do a lot of crazy accountability and claims God sees him if no one does.
After like two years of no adventure in his work, he left without a choice.
He carried CV here and there but to no avail.
So many things, just so many things...
I felt like dieing but thank God I didn't... at least if this is the only message you get from me, I'm glad we meet.
We had different upbringing: he was raised to finish school and get a job while I was raised to follow our good feelings.
I started selling and this man became my delivery man...
Some customers would call me to tell me how my "delivery guy " doesn't know his work and we'd just cry over it or laugh over it together.
I'd never seen someone so supportive, humble and honest as this man.
He would pray for me, type for me , cook for me, play with the children while I make money and ensure we all get fed.
He wasn't ashamed of this as we all know that per time, our destinies differ... We all have our purpose.
He'd follow me to my event and would type and babysit for me while I have training.
I'm shedding tears for his humility...
This taught me what humility is, this taught me love, he's such an inspiration to me.
I bore his children, homeschool them and make money while he did every other thing you can imaging within the house...leveraging on each others strength while ignoring or redirecting our flaws each knowing fully well that only destiny will prevail while we both strive to be the better version of ourselves.
When I needed to go to the market, he followed me in the early hours of the day and we moved from shop to shop, until one day.
We were in a shop, finished stocking and then we needed to pay and the network was bad for an online transfer, it was raining on this very day.
My husband collected an umbrella to locate an ATM machine around and entered this rain. Getting to the road, the flood was much and deep. I didn't know what actually happened, it was the shop owner that was telling me that he'd never seen my kind of hubby in his entire life. He told me how he rolled his trousers and entered the water and... Oh my God
That was actually small part of the sacrifice he'd made for us. I actually don't know how to describe him, honestly I'm still short of words.
Can you imaging my sister's response to him while he told my sister about how precious I am and how lucky he is?
My sister responded "how lucky Kifayah is to have you too"... I was humbled on this day.
It didn't end there.
Don't forget that he studied Estate Management and he focused on more learning while supporting us on a full time basis.
Could you believe the same man today had enough clients through recommendations even from outside Nigeria?
Could you believe this same man now makes good money from his own business?
OK, it all started with... "I trust him" recommendations from a friend and that's how so many people see that there's still a totally truthful person...
OK be what you can be, but please be truthful and humble because you don't know tomorrow's millionaire.
Your husband is probably poor so that your destiny can shine... So please support your men while he nurtures his own great destiny too.
Do not frustrate him, do what you can, living your life purposefully, graciously without having an ulterior motive to chain him or just win him.
"Perhaps you dislike what is good for you, only God knows while you do not know"...
"If you dislike something in him, there maybe a lot of greatness in him"
Few days ago, our marriage clocked 10years of tom and jerryness.😜
Of course, this is just a small part, a very tiny part sef, but this is what I have for now and I hope you find benefit in it.
My request:
1) Please help me to pray for him and pray for my family too.
2) if you have a caring man, please give him a shout out now...
3) Please have good hope that whatever thing you want, (might not necessarily be husband...), you'll get it by the grace of God.
4) To our men, please support your women to be whomsoever destiny permit them to be, you never can tell if they're the doors to your own greatness.
It's not foolishness to be supportive, it's real men that don't feel threatened.
Before you say "your place is just to take care of my children and home", remember that the teachers, nurses and doctors your wife run to are someone else's wife too, and if her husband was like you...your wife might not get treated from her several womanly ailment and your children might not get the quality education they deserve, also remember that it takes the whole community to raise only a child and when you or your wife is gone, your children care would automatically be shifted to another woman's role who is also someone's wife... You see?
5) Share this post. (You can also copy it by copying everything up to the last line and ensuring you don't remove my name so that I won't be accused of copying my own copy)
6) Help me to support his business by liking his page here FloraHomes Global Consult.
Now atleast I'm better... Going to sleep, a beg manage my typo or grammatical error , couldn't wait for it to be edited.
©Kifayah Adeniyi-Omotosho Mompreneur.
