https://selar.com/m/themoneytherapist

Olubunmi The-Money-Therapist, Igbajo, Oyo (2026)

25/05/2026

For all its allure, the switch from a physical to a remote work arrangement demands indepth planning plus a heavy dose of emotional intelligence. Maete dares not enter that world casually.

At the end-of-year staff retreat, some of her colleagues suggested that the organization should adopt a remote work structure. And as the debate wore on, it became clear that the time allotted to that discussion was insufficient. The HR department was therefore mandated to sustain the conversation beyond the staff retreat and return with a proposal to the leadership of the organisation.

It's now been 5 months since that discussion and after several formal and informal, individual and group conversations, HR proposed that each person should be allowed to choose their preferred work arrangement. However, whoever chooses to work remotely must submit a detailed plan describing how they would ensure continued and optimum productivity. Then and only then will they get the approval to proceed.

“Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy!” Maete thought to herself. At least, until she put “pen to paper.” That was when she realised that:

1. Remote work means that she would have to create a dedicated home office. And redecoration costs could be more affordable than deciding which of her fiercely-independent twin girls should give up her room and move in with the other. Maete wasn't sure how well (or at all) she could weather the storm that was bound to arise.

2. Yes, the cost of fuelling her car each day was likely to drop. However, when pitted against the cost of fuelling her generator in her one-day-on-two-days-off neighbourhood, Maete couldn't be sure that any real savings would happen.

3. A home office is more than a beautifully decorated space. Maete now has to invest in equipment that she'd better have and not need than need and not have. A good printer and top-notch stationeries, for example, may be necessary for Maete to submit a proposal to her less digitally-inclined clients - and, she wouldn't travel all the way to the office for these on such days.

4. Working from home brings Maete in closer proximity to the contents of her fridge than even the twin girls for whom the fridge is stocked up. In view of this, gym membership is an additional cost that Maete needs to factor in. Whichever way, being sedentary like she would be, would reverse the weight loss wins she has made since the year began. And she would have to drive to the gym and back, too, incurring fuel costs on that venture.

5. If the frequency with which her twin girls show up at her side on weekends is any indicator, Maete may need to hire a nanny or import her cousin to take on the role. Whichever she chooses, there are cost implications. After all, “Mummy is busy until 6pm” cannot always be her response to “I just want to ask whether I can have some cookies, that's why I came to knock on your door.”

6. Maete would have to invest in a separate Wi-Fi source from the one that her children have now colonised for Netflix. No, the office won't bear that cost after providing an unlimited data plan for the use of whoever shows up at work. So, there's that.

7. Leaving home for work each day is actually a reward of some sort. It gave use to the clothing she loves to invest in but also had an effect on her self-esteem. Working from home would mean she would only minimally use her 20-pairs of shoes, for example, before they begin to wither, break in or grow some mildew. Maete will now be hugely tempted to attend events on weekends that she avoided in the past - and there are attendant costs whether she falls for the temptation or not.

So, 3 hours after she sat with her laptop to write HR, Maete had barely written 2 complete paragraphs. She'll type, then delete when a new realization hits, then get lost in thought, then catch herself thinking, then return to typing. But for the fact that she was mandated to make a justification for her remote work preference, Maete wouldn't have considered all that she was now considering. Suddenly, remote work didn't seem like a cost-saving venture anymore - not financially and certainly not emotionally.

What changes have you got up ahead? Have you satisfactorily factored in all costs to you in the present and in the future? Would you like some help with thinking through all the different dimensions to your dilemma? Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Let's expand your thoughts such that you make a more informed decision than you would've done if you embarked on this journey by yourself.

Reach out, alright?

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

24/05/2026

Kelechi sometimes wonders why she doesn't spend money like her friend, Linda, does. “Why can't I just see something and buy it without checking my account balance first?”

Her discomfort isn't helped by Linda being on hand to remind her: “Tomorrow isn't guaranteed, my friend! You only live once, o. I'm just saying.”

And on days when Linda is really in her elements, Kelechi has to deal with, “Thank God, I am kúkú your legacy partner. If anything happens to you like this, I will cry, but I will still spend your money, sha. Lol.”

Through the years, Kelechi would laugh at Linda's recurrent joke and even say the same thing back to Linda. Recently, though, she has caught herself a few times asking, “Is it even worth it? Should I be preparing this much for a tomorrow that isn't guaranteed?”

While many personal finance experts advocate the 50:30:20 money allocation formula, Kelechi does more. To her, consuming 80% of her income now and sending only 20% into the future puts her at risk of having to downgrade her lifestyle by up to 75% when that future arrives. She therefore allocates up to 70% of her income to savings and investments, choosing to live modestly in the present. It is that modesty that Linda seems to be fashioned against.

Whether you are a Kelechi without a Linda, or you have up to 5 Lindas in your life, here's what you may need to hear:

1. You are not alone. You may not have met many people who delay gratification as much as you do but they exist. Take comfort in the fact that you aren't altogether weird (though, it's okay to be).

2. Your financial prudence will pay off. Stay the course. Sending much more into your future than you are spending now means that your money will multiply faster through your investments. That way, you will soon begin to enjoy the luxuries that seem out of reach today and still have your future catered to.

3. Work some rewards into your journey. That Linda's voice is getting amplified in your ears is a signal - that some deprivation is being experienced. This needs to be fixed. Rather than wait until an undefined time in future, consider scheduling your rewards. Say, a minor reward every month and a major one every quarter.

4. You may want to reveal to Linda how much her words have begun to affect you. Truth is, she may still see it as “our joke” whereas, hearing it as often as you do is eating away at your financial resolve. Infuse some seriousness into the conversation by taking Linda to lunch. Pick up the tab, too. That way, she sees that you can do so conveniently; however, you are the one who gets to choose the when.

5. Make a secret investment in Linda's name, keep detailed records and then do a handover after about 2 years. Some people will only be bought over by hard evidence. Showing Linda what a N200,000 investment has become will be louder in her ears than showing her what it can become.

Would you like us to build more defences for your currently fragile money blueprint? Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Money is first made in the mind. If we will win, that's the place to begin.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

23/05/2026

Joke’s plan over the next 6 months is to acquire financial and technical knowledge.

Her friends, particularly her accountability group members, wonder why she isn't jumping at the financial investment opportunities advertised within the financial communities they jointly belong to.

“Time in the market beats timing the market.”

“Let the 8th Wonder of the World work in your favour.”

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now.”

These are some of the quotes repeated to Joke to cajole her into pulling funds together with her group to buy into the currently advertised opportunity.

And, yes, those are actual quotes from renowned philosophers. Those quotes still hold true today, too. However, those quotes don't hold true for Joke in this season of life.

Here's what I mean…

Joke currently earns N150,000 as salary. She is the first born of 6 children and her parents’ “retirement baby” is still in Secondary school. With Joke’s parents now retired and unfortunately having an inconsistent flow of their pensions, Joke makes N30,000 available to them monthly. That way, they have enough to eat and can also save something towards their lastborn's school fees.

With only N120,000 left, Joke barely has enough to cater to her main expenses - feeding, transportation and saving towards her rent. As such, she can't afford to allocate N50,000 to investments like her higher-earning-minimal-responsibility friends.

Yet, that cannot be the end of the story for her. There has to be a viable way forward.

This is why Joke has decided that, come rain or shine, N20,000 of her salary will go towards knowledge acquisition. “An investment in knowledge pays the highest dividends,” she recalls. And though N20,000 seems too little for some of the courses Joke desires to take, she still sets the N20,000 aside, placing it in a mutual funds account rather than a traditional savings account. That way, the money will be easily accessible when she has saved up enough to pay for a course - without her money losing value while she is still accumulating it.

Next up, Joke is learning Energy Management.

Time was when she would hang around the office after office hours, gisting with the guys “until traffic goes down”. Joke really was thrilled about being among the first to know of any brewing office romance or other potential scandals. “I like to be on top of what's going on around me,” she often justified her inclinations to herself.

Continually avoiding her own company, Joke has now discovered, is costing her more than she can afford. So, she now times her exit from the office to her own advantage. Here's the background to that:

- Leaving on the dot of 5pm has proven to help her get home in 45 minutes.

- Wait until 5:30pm and it would take her double the time.

- Whenever she leaves at 6pm, it would take 3 hours.

For a long time, Joke didn't think much of her leaving at 6pm; after all, it meant that she could hitch a ride with one of her colleagues, saving on transportation costs. However, Joke usually arrived home spent, with barely enough energy for a shower.

Preparing dinner at 9pm-ish also meant that Joke would eat late, stay up so that the food has room to digest before she lays down and next thing, she's caught up in a YouTube movie that can actually wait until the weekend. But Joke is suddenly excited and can't fall asleep. Then between watching a couple of movies, sleeping late and bathroom runs, Joke wakes up feeling like she really hasn't slept.

All that's in the past now, though.

With energy management as a priority, Joke goes through the day differently in preparation for the night. She permits minimal distractions, ensuring that she is ready to leave at 5pm without a carryover of the day's tasks.

Joke now arrives home 45 minutes after leaving the office, rests for another 45 minutes or so, then gets on the same YouTube - this time, to watch free training videos ahead of when she can take paid courses. Two hours on this and she's just about ready to go to bed at the same time she used to arrive home in the past.

Would you like some help figuring out what lifestyle modifications to make to attract money to you? Or, do you need some encouragement to focus on the quiet wins as you inch towards the bigger ones? Let's get into it here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Personal Finance is personal. Let's create your own exclusive strategies for an improvement in your money relationship.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

22/05/2026

Hard to embrace but true: There are some things you can't afford yet.

Take Iyì for instance. That he is the first son doesn't mean he can afford to contribute the most to the upcoming birthday celebration for his parents. His younger sisters, married to men currently wealthier than he is, sure have more disposable income than he does.

Then there is the fact that he is the team lead and how he is ‘expected’ to top up every team-bonding happy hour. That “Oga, you must add to what HR approved for our team, o” is costing him in investing opportunities. Because, let's face it, N10,000 every Friday doesn't seem like much until you view it this way:

1. It comes to about N1,000 per team member, which wouldn't purchase anything memorable for them individually.

2. It would hardly buy a plate of grilled fish but even if it does, how much satisfaction can 10 people get from this? Maybe the innocent fish should have been left alone for another customer to buy, sef. Lol.

3. It amounts to N40,000 or N50,000 a month which is actually coming out of his savings, but Iyì doesn't realize it yet. You know how retailers often eat deep into their capital before they realize? Ehen. That's kinda what's happening here, too.

4. N40,000 per month adds up to N480,000 by the end of 12 months. That's sufficient to start a small business with.

5. If invested at a very conservative 10% per annum, Iyi could be looking at an additional N240,000 after 5 years (and this is not even the compounded figures).

And all these just to hear, “Oga, God bless you, o. I like as you dey always add to our Happy Hour money. Na you be the real Odogwu.”

The same Iyi is viewed as the most enlightened in his church community. So, with every, “Bro. Iyì, I don't know what else to do. Our members didn't respond to our call for contributions and the program is around the corner”, Iyi feels a need to give there, too. “After all, it is for the Lord's work,” he consoles himself. Should we also mention the individuals who personally request Iyi’s help because, “I don't want everybody to know what I am going through, so I don't want to ask the welfare sub-unit”?

What about requests made of him within the Estate where Iyi lives? “Ah, that man is generous, o. Forget that thing. There's no time we go to him, whether it is for the youths or for security that he doesn't contribute. Infact, once you mention that some people haven't paid and it could affect the plans on ground like this, be sure that he will give more than he is ordinarily supposed to contribute.” This was the reported speech by a fellow resident who defended Iyi when someone insinuated he was stingy. Since then, the comment has been living rent-free in his head such that it guides his money decisions with respect to demands made of him by fellow residents. “Before they say someone is stingy, now...” is Iyi’s filter.

What makes Iyi’s situation particularly sad is the fact that he is making sacrifices in the present that may not count for him in the future. It would've been a different case if he were depriving himself of some comforts now such that he can live better and give better in the future. As it stands, he is barely getting by now and still has almost nothing to fall back on should he lose his job.

Are you experiencing the same thing that Iyi is? Let's create a plan that sets out what really is yours and what belongs to your future. Here: selar.com/planwithme. That way, you live more wholly now, you know what you can afford to give per time and feel less guilty when you have to redirect someone to another source of charity funds.

Sounds like a plan?

We'll meet up to ten times and for 30 minutes each time. When we do, we'll draw up a plan to solve identified money problems.At the end of the first session, you will know where to begin with addressing those money pains.The Pl...

21/05/2026

Hezekiah will receive his salary on Monday - and this time has to be different. Heavily indebted, he's dedicating the next 5 days to the reflection that usually happens after the salary has been expended. Rather than “Where did all my money go?” Hezekiah has chosen to ask this time, “Where should my money go?”

Being in debt is not a pleasant experience. Hezekiah has often had to dodge the Grandma selling provisions on his street because he now owes her like 3 weeks’ worth of his salary.

Then, there is his “customer” in the market who supplies him office-worthy clothing. When he first got this job, they entered into an agreement that had Hezekiah signing and handing over some cheque leaves. That was the hook. Now, the bros just needs to say those famous words: “Bro, na the latest be this” and Hezekiah’s debt-profile climbs higher.

His younger sister is not even talking to him right now. Because, Hezekiah had been borrowing money from her for several months before he got this job. Since resuming about 9 months ago, Hezekiah is yet to return N1 of what he owes her. The cheques he gave his clothes supplier must not bounce or he risks losing his job. So, Hezekiah prioritised this over repaying his sister.

Suddenly, Hezekiah remembers that another rent is due in about 4 months. “Àbí my own calendar is different, ni?” he asks no one. He's lived in the house for 5 years and owes 3 years’ rent there. Should he be thrown out by the landlord, he has to think about more than rent to secure a new place. There will be agency and agreement fees, a caution deposit, cost of minor renovations and the transportation to move his belongings. Thinking about all these has made Hezekiah prioritise paying something, no matter how little, out of the N30,000 he committed to paying his landlord monthly. Anything to demonstrate that he is serious about paying up all he owes eventually.

The club dues for his alumni association are also there. Several times, the excos have threatened to publish the names of defaulters on their WhatsApp group. Hezekiah isn't sure he can handle the shame if that happened. So, he gradually began to withdraw from the group. He no longer gists there like he used to and plans to just leave quietly when few are likely to notice. This decision is a hard one for Hezekiah, though, because the group used to be his happy place.

Now you see why Hezekiah cannot afford to spend his salary the way he's been doing, don't you? Being in debt is leading him into the isolation that will prevent him from learning about opportunities to increase his income. His self-image is also so battered that he may not portray confidence when interviewing for new roles with higher pay - thus, closing a door that his good CV has opened for him.

Hezekiah began making notes on his phone since he got on the bus to work. Here are some of the things he's decided to do:

- Send N5,000 every month to Grandma Provisions rather than continue to dodge her.

- Stop buying certain provisions and do more cooking at home instead.

- Request that his “customer” present his pre-signed cheques every other month rather than every month.

- Stop visiting the clothing shop altogether.

- Refuse to buy new outfits even if they are to be delivered to him at home.

- Reach out to his sister to apologise and commit to begin paying her N10,000 every 3 months, beginning in July.

- Set aside every monetary gift he receives rather than immediately spend it. That way, he can pay his landlord even more than the N30,000 agreed per month and clear his outstandings faster.

- Remain within the alumni association and communicate more strategically within the WhatsApp group. Intellectual discourse over mere ranting.

- Connect more intentionally with people within the association who can recommend him for higher-paying opportunities.

- Begin putting away N2,500 per month such that in 6 months, he would have the N15,000 to pay last year's dues. Then, rinse and repeat.

Are you weighed down by thoughts of how much you owe? Would you like us to think up a repayment structure together? Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

That you owe is no reason to shut yourself away from the world. Let's talk about what you should promise those you owe and how to ensure that you keep your promise.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

20/05/2026

Most people refer to the day their salary arrives as payday. For Gbefo, it's the beginning of the planting season.

In his mind, Gbefo has spent the month clearing the ground and tilling the soil, just waiting for the seeds to arrive. Once they do, planting begins.

Some seeds can merely be broadcast. Others need to be dropped deep into the ground. Gbefo looks upon those investment opportunities he can automate as the first category and those he needs to manually lock in as the latter.

In line with his wealth management strategy, Gbefo’s personal calendar is filled not with public holidays. Between official communication from HR and a random social media post, he is certain he wouldn't mistakenly show up at work on such days. Hence, Gbefo’s calendar contains the qualifying dates for dividend payment on his investments. He has to know ahead when to expect some money such that he can plan appropriately.

His plan? This part is interesting…

10% is neatly sliced off before anything else. “That one is holy unto me,” he says to no one in particular.

You see…

Gbefo didn't come to this life to suffer, o. His personality doesn't even support frugality like that. Ever the life of the party and the big brother to everybody including his married friends, Gbefo cannot “live within his means”. He must create unbounded additional means instead.

This is why Gbefo whose name means “helped” has also found a way to help himself. He does not know how to endure hardship. He also cannot be enjoying himself in the present only for him to now come and suffer in future.

So, 13 paydays in a year are not okay for him. He has to create additional paydays for himself. He also has to keep feeding his soul so that his head can even be correct to analyse his investments well.

Now you see why the “Holy Unto Me” column of his investment analysis spreadsheet is his favourite. His salary takes care of today's needs. Then the children and grandchildren that the salary produces attend to Gbefo’s present wants and his future needs.

Have you got a plan in place that secures the future without jeopardising your today? Will your money allocation habits today help you to be hearty and healthy by the time the future arrives?

Let's build a plan together if you struggled to answer those questions in the affirmative. Here: selar.com/planwithme.

You, too, would like to have more than 13 paydays in a year, wouldn't you?

We'll meet up to ten times and for 30 minutes each time. When we do, we'll draw up a plan to solve identified money problems.At the end of the first session, you will know where to begin with addressing those money pains.The Pl...

19/05/2026

Dabira is 38 years old and earns less today than he earned 14 years ago. That thought alone is paralysing.

Looking back over the years, Dabira's asking, "Of what use is the additional degree? Why did I bother with professional exams?” Because the passage of time has not proven that those efforts were worth it.

No, Dabira didn't remain on the same salary level through the years. Neither did he ‘retrogress’ in a consistent way. There were years during which he progressively earned more. There were times he felt “upwardly-mobile.” Dabira once had multiple sources of income. He even earned consistently in foreign currency along the journey.

However, Dabira took 2 major career breaks from the journey - to earn an additional degree and to cater to his ailing Mum. Today, though merely grasping at straws, those are his explanations for his current financial situation. Here’s how…

You know how there are 2 types of lastborns, yeah? There’s the lastborn who is unofficially (or otherwise) on the payroll of his siblings. He doesn’t even need to ask in some cases before some of them send him ‘something for the weekend.’

Then, there’s the lastborn whose girlfriend may have to wait for 2 months before they can go on a date. Not the lastborn’s fault but one sibling or the other would wait until 8pm on Friday before reaching out to say: “Please come and help me stay with your nephews. I just remembered I have a party to attend tomorrow and haven’t made arrangements for someone to be with them. Eteng and Fidelis have missed their favourite Uncle, you know?”

Hey, don’t be deceived into thinking that request is optional. It’s an unspoken, “I dare you to say you have something more important than my desire of you.”

Well, Dabira belongs to the 2nd ‘WhatsApp group’. The last born of 7 siblings, they practically own him at this point. One perceived misstep and they remind him of how they made sacrifices to see him through his first and second academic degrees.

Thus, when their mother took ill, it was Dabira’s responsibility to quit ‘whatever he claims to be doing’ and move in to care for their mum. After all, if it was a proper job, the siblings wouldn’t have needed to crowdfund Dabira’s masters degree.

Worthy of note is that that venture took 3 years. They were 3 years of not knowing precisely how long he would be on duty. And, 3 years of stepping out of a formal work environment after the initial 4 years it took to acquire a 2-year masters degree (thank you, ever-dependable lecturer strikes and student unrests).

It didn’t help, either, that periods of being away from work, though for a good cause, dented Dabira’s self-esteem. He would already be at breaking point before a job opportunity came along and so would accept whatever salary was offered. Then, at his next job, his new salary would be benchmarked against the previous one by the seemingly innocent request: “Please attach your most recent payslip here.”

So, 38 year-old Dabira feels left behind by life. Everyone around him seems to have advanced while he is not even sure what his next step should be.

The only unmarried one amongst his childhood friends, Dabira doesn't even have the nerve to get into a marriage-bound relationship. Because, his siblings will sponsor his wedding whether he asks them to or not. But, they won't sponsor his marriage and family life. So, he had better not even venture in that direction.

If you know such a Dabira, consider getting him into a money therapy session with me. Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Let's help him to rise above the shame and dejection that does nothing else but hold him down. Then will he see that there are opportunities to earn beyond an employer’s perceived generosity.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

17/05/2026

The month of May is when Chriselle is supposed to purchase an airfryer, buy gifts for 2 of her closest friends and redecorate her home office.

For too long, her intentions weren't translating to action. Chriselle would “plan” to do a thing, then devote time to figuring out why she didn't - after the time had passed, of course.

That was until she learnt about Personal Expense Projections. Since then, Chriselle has lived more fully and freely. No longer does she get nagged by the thought, “When will I ever be able to afford this?” Rather, for every time that thought trespasses into her mind, she just reaches for her phone and pulls up one of her favourite spreadsheets. Right then, she is empowered to answer: “In November.”

You see…

When you lay out your commitments this way, you are able to think clearly. Your over sabi Personal Assistant (a.k.a. your mind) can be told, “Be calming down. I've got it covered.”

Chriselle, for example, cannot get overly excited when salary arrives. She knows precisely how much should go where and even goes ahead to create direct debits for some of her commitments. A couple of her investment apps allow her to pick a date on which a deduction should be made from her salary account into her investment wallet. No emotions. No coercion. No temptation. Ok, temptation with little power over Chriselle.

When she thinks about going to cancel a N5,000 direct debit in favour of Friday night suya, she just laughs because the system is already set up for her success. “Fall for the Suya temptation and there's no money for an Uber when you need it,” she'll say out loud.

Every kobo has a purpose. Even awoofs have their own JDs written out. They show up, they resume work. Lol.

Be smart like Chriselle. Write down where your money needs to go. ‘Corner’ yourself wherever possible. Make it difficult for you to deviate from your plan. It's for your own advancement. Do it now before the excitement that money brings with it steps in and logic is temporarily suspended.

You can.

I'm right here if you need help creating your own MoneyPlan©. Here: selar.com/planwithme.

Let's show money who the boss is.

We'll meet up to ten times and for 30 minutes each time. When we do, we'll draw up a plan to solve identified money problems.At the end of the first session, you will know where to begin with addressing those money pains.The Pl...

Olubunmi The-Money-Therapist

25/05/2026

24/05/2026

23/05/2026

22/05/2026

21/05/2026

20/05/2026

19/05/2026

17/05/2026

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