Wisecare

01/02/2025

07/06/2023

HOW SCHOOL BOYS WRITE LETTERS TO GIRLS IN THE 80s and 90s Read love grammar below:-

From: Jwanese.

P.O. BOX 106
Limpopo, South Africa.
25th May 2023.

Dear Sweet,

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also parambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.

Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl, put together as fantabulous...

I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.

Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.
To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you, my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblongata also ceases functioning.

Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon, you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.

Only you and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.

By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exalting...

It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium...

Empirically speaking, I love u chemically... I don't ever want to see gloom and doom looming over your Angel.
Everyo

09/05/2023

It is now 10 years since Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement on May 8, 2013.
Now refresh your memory at just how bloody brilliant he was during his 26-year reign at Manchester United…

The trophies:

The matches:

Games in charge: 1500
Wins: 895
Draws: 338
Defeats: 267
Win percentage: 59.7%

Premier League: 810 – W 528, D168, L114 win ratio: 65%
First Division: 225 – W97, D70, L58, win ratio: 43%
FA Cup: 120 – W80, D22, L18 win ratio: 67%
League Cup: 97 – W62, D10, L25 win ratio: 64%
Champions League: 202 – W110, D52, L40 win ratio: 54%

Biggest wins:
Man Utd 9-0 Ipswich – March 1995
Nottingham Forest 1-8 Man Utd – February 1999
Man Utd 7-0 Barnsley – October 1997

Biggest defeats:
Man Utd 1-6 Man City,
Newcastle 5-0 Man Utd – October 1996
Chelsea 5-0 Man Utd – October 1999

The random stats

* Ferguson has won 27 Premier League Manager of the Month awards, 12 more than anyone else.

* Ferguson was named Premier League Manager of the Season 11 times. Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger have both won it three times each.

* Manchester United scored 2769 goals (1.85 per game average) and conceded 1365 (0.9 per game average) under Ferguson.

* United’s goal difference under Ferguson was +1404

* Ferguson is the joint-most decorated manager in European football competitions with seven honours (includes two honours won with Aberdeen), a record he shares with Giovanni Trapattoni and Carlo Ancelotti.

* United won 1752 Premier League points under Ferguson.

* During the 26 years Ferguson managed United, Manchester City, Chelsea and Tottenham all employed 18 managers each. Liverpool had nine.

The players:
Most used players:
Ryan Giggs: 876 games
Paul Scholes: 704 games
Gary Neville: 592 games

Highest goalscorers:
Wayne Rooney: 197
Ryan Giggs: 154
Ruud van Nistelrooy: 150

Youngest debutants:
Ryan Giggs (17 years, 3 months, 4 days)
Lee Sharpe (17 years, 3 months, 27 days)
Federico Macheda (17 years, 7 months, 4 days)

First Man Utd debutant: Gary Walsh v Aston Villa,

03/05/2023

FACTORS THAT CONSTITUTES A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

To have a healthy and successful relationship, you must set boundaries or limits.There are a lot of factors that makes up a successful relationship.. Some of those factors are:-

1 Love & trust:- A relationship with love not accomplished with trust is like a car without the engine. Love they say'its a commitment'.distance doesn't really matters In a relationship, what matters most is having each others love and trust

2 Communication:-It is obviously important to have a relationship with a good listener and attempting to understand each others point of views..communication in a relationship brings connection and verbalize what insides you.

3 Patience &Waiting:-This is sometimes most important factor. A guy who couldn't wait and a Lady who is impatient can't make a successful relationship.

4 Respect:-It is difficult to have a relationship without mutual respects.such respects includes refraining from yelling and treating your partner rudely.

5 Understanding:-A relationship without understanding isn't a good one..lack of understanding easily leads to breakups,Even if your guy or lady cancels your appointment with you, try and be patient, ask him/her the reasons why and try to understand.

6 Attention & care:-What most ladies really loves and appreciates most in a relationship is a guy's full attention and care by creating time for her,your calls and texts.

7 Be apologetic:- This factor sometimes not put into consideration leads to breakups. If you make a mistake with your partner try and be remorseful about it and show your apologies by saying sorry...
Let go of your prides

With those factors above
A successful relationship is sure.
© MINISTER Xto Paul
FOLLOW MY OFFICIAL PAGE FOR MORE MARITAL TIPS ON WISECARE.

01/05/2023

As a Chelsea Football Club fan when last did you shout a goal.

Okay okay if you can't remember I think you would remember this

When last did you fell the joy of winning a match.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

01/05/2023

Ryan Mason on Diogo Jota 🗣️"Honestly, it's probably the clearest red card you will see on the football pitch. I need an explanation. It endangered the opponent, Skipp needs stitches and Jota has scored the goal when he shouldn't be on the pitch."

27/04/2023

📜 On this day, in 1902, Newton Heath FC were saved from bankruptcy when new investment came in

🟢🟡 ➡️ 🔴⚪ After the investors took over, the club changed its colours from green and gold to red and white

😍 Then they changed their name from Newton Heath to Manchester United. The rest is history...

23/04/2023

Student : "Sir, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Yes!"
Student: "How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?"
Teacher: "I don't know."
Student: "It's easy, you just open the fridge
and put it in. I have another question!"
Teacher: "Ok, ask."
Student: "How to put a donkey inside the fridge?"
Teacher: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in."
Student: "No sir, You just open the fridge
take out the elephant and put it in."
Teacher: "Ooh...ok!!"
Student: "Let me ask another one. If all the
animals went to the lion's birthday party,
and one animal went missing which one
would it be?"
Teacher: "The lion of course! Because it wud
eat all the animals."
Student: "No sir, it is the donkey because it's
still inside the fridge."
Teacher: "Are you kidding me?"
Student: "No sir, 1 last question."
Teacher: "Ok!"
Student: "If there's a river full of crocodiles
and you wanted to cross, how would you?"
Teacher: "There's no way, I would need a
boat to cross."
Student: "No sir, you just swim and cross it
because all the animals went to the lion's
birthday party including the crocodile ..."
Teacher: "I have my own question, if all the
students come to school except one person,
who is the person..."
Student: "No idea sir..."
Teacher: "It's you because you are on two
weeks suspension for giving me headache......😹😹 To be continued
Episode 2

Please 🥺🙏 add or follow me for more interesting jokes 🙏

05/01/2023

TYPES OF SCAMS IN NIGERIA

1. Send me your CV - Scam.

2. We'll get back to you - Scam.

3. I love you more than I love my wife - Scam.

4. Police is your friend - Scam.

5 The youths are the future leaders - Scam.

6. Airtel Data bundles - Scam.

7. Your vote counts - Scam.

8. Send me money to visit you - Scam.

9. I have a boyfriend but it's complicated - Double Scam.

10. This is not a scam - Scam.

11. Our school is the best - Scam.

12. Come over I want to show you
something - Scam.

13. Oh, he’s just a childhood friend - Scam.

14. He's like a brother to me - Outstanding Scam.

15. I'm with the boys - Scam

15. I promise I won't tell anyone - Scam.

16. I saw you in my dreams giving you a ring - Pure Scam.

18. A: Lets do a video call...
B: Sorry my network is bad, my battery is low, my room is dark - Chief Scam

19. This year I see you buying a car - Spiritual Scam

20. Baby, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen - 5G Scam.

21. Why didn’t I meet you before marrying my wife? -Scammest Scam of them all.

Bonus scam!!!

22. I have never loved someone like this before - Greatest Scam.

23.🚶🚶🏼‍♀️🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

08/11/2022

Rivers United of Nigeria were forced to train in the dark in Libya after the stadium lights went off while training.

The Nigerian club arranged for a private training session in Libya but Al Nasr Benghazi officials still forced the private operators to turn off the stadium lights.

Rivers United beat Al Nasr 5️⃣ - 0️⃣ in the first leg played in Nigeria.

At times the way fellow Africans are been treated in North Africa, it is as if we are not from the same continent.

06/11/2022

To all members of the fearers association...

If Tony used and dumped you, you should fear Tony and leave men alone.

If Nsikak made you serve him as side chic for two years, only to wake up on the third year to see Nsikak with a family that you're not part of, fear Nsikak and leave men alone.

If you did heaven and earth for Paul and he finally left you to marry someone else, you can fear Paul a little, but fear your foolishness the most. Just leave men alone.

If you sponsored Uduak through school and she left you after NYSC to marry Ndiana, fear Uduak and leave women alone.

If Utibeima has been eating your money, only to realise she's been dating Ubong, please fear Utibeima and leave women alone.

If Ememobong has been taking money from you to sponsor another man, you can join both Ememobong and your mumu and fear both of them together.

Stop bringing your life's frustrations to social media and be looking for fellow embittered people to join your campaigns of frustration.

Some of have seen very wonderful and loyal men/women as partners, and if we have anything to fear, it is the fear of ever losing them.

04/11/2022

7 RULES TO BE HAPPY IN LIFE:

1. Never hate.
2. Don't worry.
3. Live simple.
4. Expect a little.
5. Give a lot.
6. Always smile.
7. And keep in touch with God.