23/08/2026
INTERNAL MEMO: GRUDGE DEPARTMENT
After careful evaluation, the department currently has 2 qualified employees and 1 vacant position.
POSITION OPEN: SENIOR GRUDGE SPECIALIST
Minimum Qualifications:
-Must have caused significant and lasting damage.
-Must possess a Masterโs Degree in Calculated Behavior.
-Must have an established following.
-Must possess advanced fabrication skills.
-Must demonstrate exceptional proficiency in narrative management.
-Must have a proven ability to influence third parties.
-Must maintain consistent performance in creating unnecessary drama. ๐
-Must be capable of never admitting fault. ๐ญ
BENEFITS
๐ฐ Compensation: Highly paid in energy, peace, and mental bandwidth.
โณ Tenure: Permanent. No termination. No retirement.
๐ Career Growth: Promotion guaranteed through continued irritation. ๐
Applications are now OPEN.
Only exceptionally qualified candidates will be considered. Management reserves the right to reject applicants who are merely problematic but lack the required level of achievement. ๐๐