10/07/2024
I'm not okay, but it's alright. I'm getting used to this feeling. I have been battling with myself behind closed doorsโso much so that I can't even speak about it to anyone. Maybe I'm just afraid that people might never understand me. Maybe I'm afraid of what they would say if they saw me falling to my knees and being vulnerable. I don't want everyone to think that I am weak and that they can take advantage of me. Maybe I never really trusted anyone's intention. I just think that people would probably ask about how I feel, but they never really care about it. And maybe all this heaviness that I feel in my chest won't just go away even if I talk about it to someone, so I am bound to fight my battles alone because no one can ever help me except for myself.
But I admit that sometimes I wish I had someone I could lean on when I'm vulnerable. I wish I had someone I could run to whenever I felt like everything was falling apartโsomeone who would just listen to me and constantly remind me that my feelings were important.
โ Shiori X
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