13/05/2020
This is really very easy to give someone such titles, and leaving someone alone while the person is crying... its is very light to consider your life partner for granted....
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Iklauta larka mila hai. Tumhari toh lottery lagg gayee”, I still remember the aunty's whispering this into my ear on my Barat day.
Little did anyone know that my marriage would hardly last for 1.5 years.
Little did anyone know that I would be pushed away by my ex- husband everytime I would get closer to him.
Little did anyone know that I would be a victim of both, physical and emotional abuse.
Little did anyone know that I would be referred as a psychological patient every now and then.
Little did anyone know that I was a victim of gaslighting.
Little did anyone know that my character would be questioned and judged every now and then.
Little did anyone know that even though my parents lived 5 mins away, I won't be allowed to meet them.
Little did anyone know that the 5 months old pregnant me would go into chronic depression.
Little did anyone know that I would be left alone in the room by my ex-husband to cry like a baby (thanks to pregnancy hormones) alone because he would call me a psychotic patient.
Little did anyone know that the birth of my daughter would be considered as a shame.
Little did anyone know that I along with my 5 month old daughter would be kicked out of the house bare handed at 11pm by my in-laws.
Wonder what happened next? Yes, I got divorced in September 2018.
I still remember the same aunties calling my mother for their mufeed mushwara of 'Amna abhi jawaan hai. Uss se kaho beti wapis uske baap ko dede and apni zindagi jiye'.
I would laugh out loud, every time they would say this.
Laugh because....
Little did they know how much I prayed every night for my daughter to be my miracle baby.
Laugh because....
Little did they know how their 'Divorcee pehle he aik daagh hai' statement would make me more strong.
Laugh because....
Little did they know how proud I am to be raising my daughter alone.
Laugh because....
Little did they know how her tiny hands became a source of strength for me.
Laugh because....
Little did they know what an amazing dad I would make.
Laugh because....
Little did they know how my married life gave me anxiety and PTSD.
Laugh because....
Little did they know how my daughter's smile is still helping me fight my anxiety and PTSD.
Laugh because....
Little did they know how I would look at her face every night and thank Allah for her with a teary eye.
Laugh because....
Little did they know that my life couldn't be any better than it is with her around.
Laugh because....
Little did they know that I believe He sent her into my life to give me something to fight for, to show me there is still love in the world, to bring me hope & to bring me joy.
Laugh because....
Little did they know that she is a gift from the Heavens, a proof of His mercy on me.
This is me, Amna Jamshed, a strong happily divorced single mother. I have this little angel by my side. I won't cut her wings and stop her from flying. I won't take the spark away from her. I won't stop her from experiencing life just because my life didn't turn out be the way I planned it to be. I won't stop her from dreaming. Instead, I promise to stand by her in every step of her life, no matter what.
Life happens with everyone and just like you it happened to me too. However, I didn't let it get onto me and decided to fight it, embrace it like I own it.
-This is a real life story submitted on "Share To Aware" by Amna Jamshed.
