08/17/2026
There are some topics we canāt talk about without feeling them deeply, and perinatal mental health is one of them.
Because behind the words postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, and postpartum psychosis are real mothers.
Mothers rocking babies at 2 a.m. while their minds are racing.
Mothers smiling in pictures while privately wondering why they donāt feel like themselves.
Mothers who love their babies more than anything and are terrified by thoughts they never asked to have.
Mothers who are exhausted, overwhelmed, overstimulated, scared, and sometimes afraid to tell anyone what is actually going on because they donāt know how they will be perceived.
And this can begin during pregnancy too. We often say āpostpartum mental health,ā but these struggles can happen throughout pregnancy and after birth. Becoming a mother is an enormous transition physically, hormonally, emotionally, mentally, and socially. Sometimes the struggle starts long before the baby is placed in her arms.
Postpartum depression (PPD) doesnāt always look like sadness. It may feel like emptiness, numbness, irritability, guilt, hopelessness, disconnection, or simply feeling like you are moving through every day in a fog. A mom may love her baby deeply and still wonder why motherhood doesnāt feel the way she thought it would.
Postpartum anxiety (PPA) can feel like never being able to shut your brain off. Is the baby breathing? Did they eat enough? What if something happens? Am I doing this right? Why canāt I relax? Even when someone else is holding the baby, her mind may still be completely āon.ā She may look calm while internally feeling like she is constantly bracing for something bad to happen.
Postpartum OCD (PPOCD) can be especially frightening because it may involve intrusive thoughts or images that a mother absolutely does not want. Sometimes those thoughts are so upsetting that she becomes afraid to be alone with her baby or afraid to tell anyone what she is experiencing. Intrusive thoughts are not the same as wanting to act on them. In PPOCD, the thoughts are typically unwanted, distressing, and often followed by checking, avoiding, researching, praying, reassurance-seeking, or other behaviors meant to make the fear go away. A mother experiencing this needs somewhere safe to say, āMy brain is scaring me,ā without immediately feeling judged.
And then there is Postpartum Psychosis, which is different from PPD, PPA, and PPOCD. A mother may become severely confused, paranoid, experience hallucinations or delusions, have extreme changes in mood or behavior, or lose touch with reality. It is a medical emergency. It needs immediate medical attention, protection, compassion, and treatment, not shame.
Many of these are ārareā according to statistics; however, it is also very underreported.
This is part of why Healthy Moms, Healthy Babies of North Dakota exists.
We donāt talk about these things because they are trendy topics.
We talk about them because we get it.
Our hearts are in this work because motherhood has touched each of us personally. We know what it is like to need support. We know what it is like to watch other mothers need support. And we know that sometimes the hardest part isnāt being told, āYou should ask for help.ā
Sometimes the hardest part is that you are already drowning and donāt even know what kind of help to ask for. So maybe instead of telling a mom to āreach out if you need anything,ā we become more specific:
āIām bringing dinner Tuesday. What sounds good?ā
āIām coming over for an hour. Go shower, sleep, or stare at the wall. Iāve got the baby.ā
āIām taking your older kids to the park.ā
āI donāt need you to clean before I come over.ā
āYou donāt have to explain everything to me. Iām here.ā
And if she tells you something that scares her, stay calm. Listen. Help her connect with appropriate professional support. If she seems confused, disconnected from reality, is experiencing hallucinations or delusions, or there is an immediate safety concern, seek emergency medical care right away.
Community matters.
Not the perfect social-media version of community. Real community.
Meals on porches. Texts that donāt require a response. Sitting on somebodyās couch when their house is a mess. Watching a baby so someone can sleep. Driving a mom to an appointment. Checking again tomorrow even when she said she was āfineā today.
And with everything constantly coming at us through our phones and the news, remember that protecting your own mental health matters too. If your heart feels heavy, unplug for a while. Put the phone down. Step away from the comments. Hold your babies. Go outside. Call someone you love. Come back to the people physically around you.
You can care deeply about what is happening in the world without consuming every painful story until your own nervous system is completely overwhelmed.
Maybe one of the most powerful things we can do right now is turn some of that energy back toward each other.
Check on the pregnant mom.
Check on the brand-new mom.
Check on the mom who is six months postpartum and everyone assumes is āback to normal.ā
Check on the mother who looks like she has it all together.
And donāt only ask about the baby.
Ask her:
How is your heart?
How is your mind?
Are you sleeping at all?
Do you feel like yourself?
What can I take off your plate this week?
Healthy moms and healthy babies are deeply connected. And supporting maternal mental health cannot belong only to mothers, therapists, doctors, or hospitals.
It belongs to all of us.
Our hope at Healthy Moms, Healthy Babies of North Dakota is to help create the kind of community where mothers donāt have to become completely overwhelmed before someone notices.
Where families know where to turn.
Where difficult thoughts can be spoken out loud without immediate shame.
Where serious symptoms are recognized quickly.
Where mothers are treated with dignity.
And where we donāt simply tell women they need a village.
We choose to become one. š¤
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, there is hope and there are resources for you. Finding the proper professional support such as therapy or psychiatry - we can help direct you to these professionals.
If you need something in between appointments, late at night when the baby won't sleep, or a place to start - here are some resources you can call or text free of charge:
Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (833-852-6262)
Crisis Text Line: 741-741
United Way Services: 211
Substance Abuse and Mental Health hotline: 1(800) 662-4357
Substance Abuse and Mental Health text: 435748
ND Emotional Distress: (701)235-7335
Su***de Hotline: 988
ALL FREE AND CONFIDENTIAL**
Help is possible. These mental health concerns are all treatable. Please reach out - feeling better is possible.
