10/15/2026
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The Aging Parents Checklist: Money, Scams, Estate Plans and Final Wishes
If you have aging parents or other loved ones you may someday help care for, don’t wait for a medical emergency or death to start these conversations.
That doesn’t mean asking how much money they have or demanding access to their accounts. In fact, they can keep account balances private. The goal is to create a map: what exists, where important information is kept, whom to contact and what they want you to do if they can no longer handle things themselves.
What Estate Planning Documents Should Aging Parents Have?
It’s a given that aging parents, and actually all of us regardless of age, should have estate planning documents. This includes:
Will – A legal document that states how you want your property and assets distributed after your death.
Trust (when appropriate) – Some individuals may have trust(s) as part of their estate plan to handle complex family situations and/or to avoid probate. It’s worth asking if your parents have trusts as a part of their estate plan.
Durable Financial power of attorney – allows someone you trust to handle financial and legal matters on your behalf if you become unable to do so.
Advance directive/living will – lets you state your medical wishes and, depending on your state’s laws and the document you use, name someone to make health care decisions for you if you cannot.
However, simply knowing that these documents exist isn’t enough. Someone needs to know where they are.
Another important note: Beneficiary designations must also match what is listed in estate documents. No matter what a will says, the beneficiary designation will override it so it is imperative that these are correct.
What Should You Know About Your Aging Parents’ Finances?
For many families, talking about estate planning is easier than talking about money. Adult children may worry they’re prying, while parents may understandably want to maintain their financial independence and privacy.
Fortunately, you don’t need to ask how much money your parents have, and you don’t necessarily need their passwords or access to their accounts right now.
Instead, think of this exercise as creating a financial map. You want to know what accounts and assets exist, where they’re held and where to find the information needed to access them if the time comes.
Ask your parents where you could find information about their:
Checking and savings accounts
Brokerage accounts
401(k)s, IRAs and pensions
Social Security benefits
Life insurance policies
Mortgage and other debts
Credit cards
529 plans or other accounts they’ve established for grandchildren
Property and other major assets
Safe deposit boxes and/or home safes
Don’t Forget About the Monthly Bills
Knowing where the money is only part of the picture. If a parent becomes sick or otherwise needs help managing their finances, someone may also need to keep the household running.
This can be a good opportunity to ask:
Do you feel comfortable handling your bills on your own right now?
If you ever wanted help with your bills, who would you want to handle them?
Is there a master list of your recurring bills, or can we create one together?
Which bills are paid automatically, and from which accounts?
Are there bills that still arrive by mail or require manual payment?
That master list might include the mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance premiums, credit cards, property taxes, HOA fees, car payments, medical bills, subscriptions, charitable contributions and other recurring or automatic payments.
Finally, make sure someone knows how to contact the professionals who help manage your parents’ financial and legal The Aging Parents Checklist: Money, Scams, Estate Plans and Final Wishes
Written by Jennifer Hutcheson | October 15th, 2026
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When I was six years old, my dad started my financial education. Like money expert Clark Howard with his own children, he rarely missed an opportunity to teach me about unit pricing, comparison shopping and living on less than you make.
Fortunately, those lessons continued into adulthood. My dad graciously coached me through negotiating for my first car and house. He also taught me about the importance of investing for retirement.
But it wasn’t until my dad received a devastating terminal diagnosis that I realized something: Despite a lifetime of financial conversations, I knew almost nothing about his personal finances.
I didn’t know where all of his accounts were. I didn’t know what arrangements he’d made or what information I would need when I needed manage his affairs.
Fortunately, we had some time. More importantly, my dad was willing and able to sit down with me, walk me through what I needed to know and tell me what he wanted.
Not everyone gets that opportunity.
If you have aging parents or other loved ones you may someday help care for, don’t wait for a medical emergency or death to start these conversations.
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That doesn’t mean asking how much money they have or demanding access to their accounts. In fact, they can keep account balances private. The goal is to create a map: what exists, where important information is kept, whom to contact and what they want you to do if they can no longer handle things themselves.
Here are the conversations every family should consider having before a crisis.
Table of Contents:
What Estate Planning Documents Should Aging Parents Have?
What Should You Know About Your Aging Parents’ Finances?
What Digital Information Should You Have for Aging Parents?
What Should You Know About Your Parents’ Insurance and Long-Term Care Plans?
How Can You Protect Aging Parents From Financial Scams?
Should You Talk to Your Parents About Funeral and Final Wishes?
How Do You Start a Money Conversation With Aging Parents?
What Estate Planning Documents Should Aging Parents Have?
It’s a given that aging parents, and actually all of us regardless of age, should have estate planning documents. This includes:
Will – A legal document that states how you want your property and assets distributed after your death.
Trust (when appropriate) – Some individuals may have trust(s) as part of their estate plan to handle complex family situations and/or to avoid probate. It’s worth asking if your parents have trusts as a part of their estate plan.
Durable Financial power of attorney – allows someone you trust to handle financial and legal matters on your behalf if you become unable to do so.
Advance directive/living will – lets you state your medical wishes and, depending on your state’s laws and the document you use, name someone to make health care decisions for you if you cannot.
However, simply knowing that these documents exist isn’t enough. Someone needs to know where they are.
Another important note: Beneficiary designations must also match what is listed in estate documents. No matter what a will says, the beneficiary designation will override it so it is imperative that these are correct.
What Should You Know About Your Aging Parents’ Finances?
For many families, talking about estate planning is easier than talking about money. Adult children may worry they’re prying, while parents may understandably want to maintain their financial independence and privacy.
Fortunately, you don’t need to ask how much money your parents have, and you don’t necessarily need their passwords or access to their accounts right now.
Advertisement
Instead, think of this exercise as creating a financial map. You want to know what accounts and assets exist, where they’re held and where to find the information needed to access them if the time comes.
Ask your parents where you could find information about their:
Checking and savings accounts
Brokerage accounts
401(k)s, IRAs and pensions
Social Security benefits
Life insurance policies
Mortgage and other debts
Credit cards
529 plans or other accounts they’ve established for grandchildren
Property and other major assets
Safe deposit boxes and/or home safes
Don’t Forget About the Monthly Bills
Knowing where the money is only part of the picture. If a parent becomes sick or otherwise needs help managing their finances, someone may also need to keep the household running.
This can be a good opportunity to ask:
Do you feel comfortable handling your bills on your own right now?
If you ever wanted help with your bills, who would you want to handle them?
Is there a master list of your recurring bills, or can we create one together?
Which bills are paid automatically, and from which accounts?
Are there bills that still arrive by mail or require manual payment?
That master list might include the mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance premiums, credit cards, property taxes, HOA fees, car payments, medical bills, subscriptions, charitable contributions and other recurring or automatic payments.
Finally, make sure someone knows how to contact the professionals who help manage your parents’ financial and legal affairs, such as their financial advisor, CPA or tax preparer and estate attorney.
Remember: You’re creating a map, not asking for the keys. Your parents can maintain their privacy and independence while making sure the right person knows where to turn if they ever need help.
What Digital Information Should You Have for Aging Parents?
So much of our financial and personal lives now exists online that knowing where your parents keep their paper documents is no longer enough.
If you may someday need to help manage a parent’s affairs, you should know about their:
Primary email account
Phone, tablet and computer
Password manager, if they use one
Two-factor authentication and account recovery methods
Cloud storage
Social media accounts
Important online financial accounts
Digital subscriptions
Digital photos and other important files
But this doesn’t mean asking your parents to email you a spreadsheet containing every username and password. Sending passwords through email or text, or keeping an unprotected list of passwords, can create a security risk. Plus, your parents may not want you to have access to all of this information immediately.
Instead, talk about how you would securely get the information you need if your parent became incapacitated or died.
Create a Secure Emergency Access Plan
One option is a reputable password manager. In addition to securely storing passwords, some password managers offer family or emergency-access features.
For example, Bitwarden allows eligible users to designate a trusted emergency contact who can request access to their password vault.
Another option is to keep emergency-access information offline in a secure physical location, such as a locked fire-resistant home safe or safe deposit box. Your parent could keep instructions there explaining where passwords are stored and how the appropriate person can access them.
Whichever method your family chooses, make sure the trusted person knows that the plan exists and where to find it. A perfectly organized emergency file won’t help much if nobody knows about it.
Also think about two-factor authentication (2FA). Even if you eventually have the appropriate authority and login information for an account, access could still be difficult if verification codes are being sent to your parent’s phone or authenticator app. Your emergency plan should identify what authentication and recovery methods your parent uses and where any recovery information is securely stored.
Important Tip: After a loved one’s death, keep their cell phone active because you will likely need it for 2FA codes.
What Should You Know About Your Parents’ Insurance and Long-Term Care Plans?
Like with your parents’ finances, you don’t need the details of every policy now, but you or another trusted contact needs to know where to find this information so that you aren’t searching through stacks of documents when a crisis arrives.
You can ask where you could find:
Medicare information
Medicare supplement/Medicare Advantage
Prescription coverage
Long-term care insurance
Life insurance
Homeowners/renters
Auto
Umbrella coverage
Then, the bigger part of the conversation is understanding what happens if they eventually need help living independently.
Do they envision:
Aging in place?
Moving closer to family?
Moving in with family?
Independent/assisted living?
Using a Long-term care policy?
You don’t have to solve every aspect of their long-term care plan now. But this can give you insights into their wishes and how you can support them.
If you’re concerned that your parents are talking about moving to an expensive retirement community you don’t think they can afford, or that they are planning to move in with you (surprise!), this initial conversation can help you prepare for follow-ups.
And you don’t have to do it alone. You can hire a fee-only fiduciary financial advisor and/or a geriatric social worker to help support your parents in developing an attainable long-term care plan.
How Can You Protect Aging Parents From Financial Scams?
Most of us know a story about a senior citizen targeted by a scam. For me, it was my elderly neighbor who kept believing that he had “won” a sweepstakes and sending large sums of money to “claim” his prize. His family was playing a heartbreaking game of whack-a-mole with the scammers who kept changing their phone numbers because they knew they had a live target.
A critical part of your aging parents’ checklist is talking to them about scams before they are targeted.
It may help to share the scams that most frequently target seniors so they know the common trends. But even if your parents are experiencing cognitive decline, there are some simple rules that they can use to help protect themselves.
The most basic rule is to have a trusted contact to check with before sending money:
Before you send the money, call your person.
A more detailed scam-prevention list includes:
Help your parents freeze their credit if they haven’t already.
Don’t move money because an unsolicited caller says an account is compromised.
Be suspicious of requests for gift cards, crypto or unusual payment methods.
Set up transaction/account alerts where appropriate.
Discuss AI voice/deepfake impersonation scams and establish a family safe word.
Identify one trusted person to call before acting on a suspicious financial request.
Should You Talk to Your Parents About Funeral and Final Wishes?
Talking about what happens after a parent dies isn’t easy. But having the conversation now can prevent family members from having to make difficult decisions — or guess what Mom or Dad would have wanted — while they’re grieving.
You don’t need to plan every funeral detail together. Start with the bigger questions:
Would you prefer burial or cremation?
Do you want a funeral, memorial service or something else?
Are there religious or cultural traditions you’d like followed?
Do you own a cemetery plot or have other arrangements already been made?
Have you prepaid for any funeral or burial expenses? If so, where are those records?
Are there particular people you would want notified?
Do you have preferences for your obituary or memorial?
Have you documented your wishes regarding organ donation?
Who should care for your pets?
Are there sentimental possessions you’d particularly like certain people to have?
My mom has come up with a simple solution that I love: She keeps a physical “Funeral File” for me.
It includes information about what she wants when the time comes, right down to the music she’d like included. She can add to it or change her mind over the years, so her wishes aren’t set in stone. I don’t need to keep track of every detail now. I just know where to find the file when I need it.
That’s really the goal of this entire checklist. Your parents don’t have to hand over control of their lives or make every decision today. But if they have preferences that would matter to them — and to you — encourage them to write those wishes down and make sure the right person knows where to find them.
It’s also important to understand that expressing a preference isn’t necessarily the same as creating a legally enforceable instruction. State laws vary, and wills, beneficiary designations and other estate planning documents may govern how certain property and decisions are handled. An estate planning attorney can help your parents properly document wishes that need legal effect.
But not every decision needs to be part of an estate plan. Your family may simply need to know what Mom or Dad would want.
The goal isn’t to plan their funeral for them. It’s to make sure the people who love them don’t have to guess.
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