07/04/2025
From the Heart ❤️ Still Standing. Still Loving. Still Believing. ✨
Black men, I need to speak from the heart—for a moment, and maybe for a lifetime. I’ve been sitting with something heavy.
Lately, I’ve seen and felt the criticism directed at Black women… and it hurts—harsh, deep, and often rooted in pain. The doubt you carry toward us… it’s loud. And as a Black woman who stands ten toes down for our people—for you-for all of us—it hurts-it saddens me deeply.
I'm raising a Black daughter. I want her to witness what Black love truly is. Not just through survival, but through connection, healing, and truth. I want her to grow up knowing the beauty of Black love—not just in theory, but in how it looks, how it sounds, and how it feels. I want her to understand the power of love that uplifts, protects, and heals. I want her to know what it feels like to be seen, heard, and loved fully by someone who reflects her.
I see the posts—the ones saying Black women need to take accountability. And I agree, we do. We’ve caused pain too. We’ve made mistakes. But when we say you also need to take accountability, suddenly it’s “deflecting.” Why is that?
I know some of you have been hurt. I know some of you may have chosen partners who didn’t honor you, love you right, or show up for you the way you needed. But please hear this: all Black women are not them.
Both women and men carry flaws. Both sides have been hurt. Both have healing to do. We are who we are because of our past—our parents, our partners, our traumas—but we choose how we grow from it. And that’s where the difference begins.
Emotionally, we bounce back differently. But don’t confuse our strength for lack of care. When we love you, we often love you through your pain. We see you even when you can’t see yourself. Maybe we haven’t always nurtured your vulnerability the right way—but please know, not every woman has failed you in that space.
If I judged you the way you judge us… I would’ve left a long time ago. But I didn’t. I haven’t. Because I still believe in you.
Too many of y’all switch up on us quick. One heartbreak… one bad experience… a few bitter stories from your boys… and suddenly, we’re all the same. But we’re not.
Stop feeding the negativity. There is SO much good out here. So much light. So many women who still stand beside you—even when you don’t choose us. Even when you doubt, dismiss, curse, or hurt us.
We’re still here.
I’ve been told I can’t speak for every Black woman—and I don’t try to. I know some carry pain that shows up in harmful ways. I’m not dismissing that. But I also know so many who love deeply, lead with grace, and show up every single day with strength and softness in balance.
Say what you will. Doubt us. Belittle us. But when the smoke clears, ask yourself: who’s still in your corner?
We are.
Please don’t let your pain turn into a blanket judgment. We’re not your enemy. We’re your sisters, your partners, your mothers, your daughters.
And the ones who ride for you like that? Don’t exist everywhere.
Let’s do the work—together—to build something better. For us. For our children. For the future of Black love.
– With love,
A Black woman who still believes in us 💛
-T. Haynie 7.14.25
&love
