10/14/2026
Most of us think understanding someone means agreeing with them. So we skip it. If I don't agree, why spend the time?
That's backwards. Understanding is not agreement. It's knowing what the other person sees, what they want, and why they did what they did. You can disagree with every bit of it and still understand it.
Here's where it goes wrong. You decide what someone should have done based on what you would have done. You say your piece, you feel better, and you assume they heard it the way you meant it. They didn't. And if you walk in already certain, nobody is listening; two people are just taking turns talking.
Taking the time to understand isn't soft. It's the shortest road to what you wanted from the conversation in the first place: somebody doing something.
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