Life, Love & Happiness

08/23/2018

Stop pecking each other, you're not a couple of chickens. Grab her, pull her in close, and kiss her like you mean it.

08/16/2018

Seize the Day!

08/15/2018

"I'm so busy," is the new black, that is when we respond to the question, how are you doing.

In fact we are so busy doing life that we can forget to notice what our partner is doing.

This note is to remind us all that it's important to say thanks for all the little responsibilities adult life throws at us.

Thanks for taking out the trash.

Thanks for doing the dishes.

Thanks for mowing.

Thanks for putting the kids to bed.

Thanks for always dropping the kids off at daycare, the morning rush has to be exhausting for you.

Today make a pack that for the next 7 days you will play a game with your partner. It's called, See Who Can Say Thanks the Most.

If you do it I guarantee you will feel appreciated and grateful by this time next week.

Disclaimer: This game can cause husband's to do more around the house, spontaneously feet, and pick up his socks. This can cause her to want to be more physical, nag less, and throw more smiles your way.

07/03/2018

Do you ever wonder why she won't stop nagging!?

It's actually pretty simple. She doesn't feel like you're grinding out daily life beside her.

Here's a typical day for your wife (don't worry I will run through your day too):

Get up, rush to get everyone packed and ready for the day, drop kids where they need to go, work all day, pick everyone back up, go home and make dinner, do baths, and then when the house is quiet she relaxes....

W-R-O-N-G. The house is still a mess at 9pm and chores need to be taken care of before the next day of chaos begins.

Phewta.

Here's a typical day for you:

Get up, everyone feels tense, stressed, and unrested. Whatever you do seems to be irritating the heck out of your wife.

You rush out the door, only to join the other cars in the typical traffic jam. Once you make it to work, it's a long day full of pressure and expectations. Then you get back in the car and start your hour commute back home.

As you pull into the drive, you see the kids playing nicely in the yard and you can almost taste the refreshingly cold beer that will be in your hands in a matter of moments.

W-R-O-N-G. You pull up to see the kids climbing on your new ATV (which you have told them countless times to stay the heck off!), the dog (you didn't want) is taking a you-know-what in the non-designated area, and your wife is waiting on the stoop with THAT glare.

That's when you remember you forgot to take out the trash and stop at Home Depot on your way home and grab the extra paint.

(BLEEEEEEEP!!) Why does it have to be this miserable!?

In this moment:

Neither one of you feels appreciated, and you truly believe that she doesn't see how much you do for the family. Sure you're not the best at jumping in and doing the dishes but dang it you work hard, help when you can, and the amount of pressure that you’re under should matter.

Even when you do help it feels like nothing that you do is good enough. So why bother?

All these thoughts go through your head before you even open the car door. Not to mention the roller coaster ride of emotions you just went on.

So how can we fix this so that you can get to that beer already?

Walk up to her on the step, grab her hands or pull her into your arms and say, "Thank you. Thank you for everything that you do. The family, house, work, fur babies. None of this would be possible if you weren't by my side. I know I forgot the trash and I will run back and pick up the paint. I'm sorry. To make it up to you how about we all go and I treat the family to dinner somewhere?"

In that moment you showed that you appreciate her, you recognized that you messed up, and you showed her that she is not alone and that you’re going to take care of her.

When she feels understood and validated, she will automatically validate you. For example she might say. “I know you work hard for us, and I’m sure my nagging isn’t helping your stress levels. I'm sorry. I just don’t want to do all this alone and lately I have been feeling like I’m on an island.”

Boom! You're both standing there, defenses down and feeling understood and you're not in the doghouse.

Now go before something messes this up! Eat, cheers, and get that paint.

To prevent 'as many' nag sessions you two should have a heart to heart about what each of you need. Talk about your daily stress at work and how hard it is to feel like you never do things good enough. Listen to her when she tells you how exhausted she is and how she needs to know you are in this with her and on the same team.

Lastly, talk about what being on the same team looks like for each of you and build from there. PS Remember that you can cut down on some of the running and responsibilities (but that is for another post).

So to recap. When she nags, she feels under appreciated and alone in this game called life. Join her, make her feel supported and like you're by her side and the nagging will go away. If not, schedule a girls night out for her with lots of wine and cross your fingers.

Good luck and cheers to that cold beer!

04/06/2018

You want me to take time for myself with our crazy schedule!? Now that's hilarious!😂

Self-care is a buzz term that saturates our news feeds across social media platforms.

But what is it and does self-care dramatically decrease stress and increase overall happiness and sense of wellbeing?

Self-care is exactly how it sounds, taking time to show yourself some much needed TLC.

Possible side effects include:

Snapping at your kids less
Enjoying the evening chaos
Wanting to spend time with your spouse
Not dreading Mondays
Randomly smiling for no reason at all
Feeling like you are actually living and not dealing with life

Everyone's "self-care" time is different. My routine includes long walks with my frenchie, getting my nails done, having a massage, doing creative projects with my kids, and doing something that makes me belly laugh.

I know how valuable it is because of my profession and because I know how I felt when I was stubborn and thought that I didn't need to take a break from life, and how exponentially happier I am now that I regularly schedule "me time".

But how do you take from something you don't have?

This is the question most clients ask me. How can they take time for themselves when they can't even sit down to shave their legs?

You can go about it a couple different ways:

1. Find a way to sneak in 5 minutes here and there.

When your alarm goes off get up and take the pooch for a walk; rather than taking a stroll down your newsfeed.

Sip on your coffee and think about what you are grateful instead of rehashing your mental to-do list.

2. Prioritize who gets to have your time. Trust me if you don't schedule it someone else will take it, guaranteed.

This way is more in-depth but you end up with more time, and a life you actually enjoy living.

For example, if you have multiple kids in multiple activities send out some ride share schedules and make it possible to have one evening free just for you. Trust me, the other parents would love someone to take initiative and make some mock shuttle service schedules! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

If you volunteer for something that are not excited about, finish your term and opt out of the next election or sign up.

If you tend to check your news feeds on average of 3-7x per day, have a book you are wanting to read by your side instead. Or learn a new hobby in the moments you would be scrolling or pinning for mindless hours.

Schedule time weeks out. And hold that time sacred, like its a dermatologist appointment!

Trust me you will notice a difference the first time you make it happen. Show yourself that you are worth taking the time for.

03/02/2018

I'm starting to wonder if my husband is TRYING to p**s me" off?

We are smack dab in the thick of our wintery season funk. Which means that everyone in the family is getting a whee bit sick of each other.

Mom might be more irritable as she pushes through some seasonal depression, Dad might be sick of her nagging as he plugs through the monotony, and well the kids? They are busting at the seams with excess energy to expend, which inevitably drives EVERYONE nuts!

But what we tend to forget is that this is normal and it comes every year as we pay our dues for being Minnesotans.

We might start to worry that our marriages are falling apart or feel certain that one of the kids has either attention deficit or has just gone mad crazy. And to top it off we fear that we will never feel content again.

(Big Exhale)

Now that we remember it's normal, what are some things that can save our sanity?

1. Externalize the reality. When you feel like your husband is purposefully pushing your buttons, before you go postal say these simple words "It's not you, it's winter, and it's the fact that I am sunshine starved!"

2. Whenever you can get out in the sun (even for 5-minute increments) do it!

3. Get out and do family activities that make you move. Go go-karting in Burnsville, walk laps at MOA, jump into Sky Zone.

We are almost there and I hope it helps you, like it helps me, to know that I'm not alone, and soon we will have another blustery season under our belts!

01/03/2018

This time of year inspires us to make changes in order to become better versions of ourselves.

AND I believe it's important to remember that sustainable change doesn't happen over night.

In other words step off the starting block this is not a race.

I like to think of resolutions as a theme. For example, my theme in 2018 is self-discovery.

In order for me not to burn out by taking on too much drastic change all at once, I have sprinkled in events (that I have committed to) throughout the year to keep me on track.

Here's how to set yourself up for a successful evolution this year:

1. Pick out your resolution theme.
2. Commit to something (event, meet up group) every quarter.
3. Get a buddy to work it with you or let others know your plan.
4. Start!

A big tip is to get involved with a group or other likeminded people to support and hold you accountable.

Change is hard, but it doesn't have to be brutal:)

Enjoy your season, Cheers!

10/30/2017

It's crazy how fast time passes. One minute we have our whole life ahead of us, and the next we are wondering how we got so trapped.

In all fairness it's easy to get to this place. We used to sing songs about it on the playground, incase we would forget: "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby...".

Then all of a sudden in the middle of the hustle something jabs us and we realize that we lost someone along the way...ourselves.

When was the last time that you did something strictly for you and for fun? AND going on a grocery run to Target without the kids DOES NOT count.

It's easy to turn a blind eye once we become aware of the truth. Just get a little busier, binge on another series, even though we know that the feeling will never go away on it's own.

If numbing out to newsfeeds and pinning until midnight won't work, what will?

Micro changes. Super small fun steps to dramatically change your world.

Start with the basics. When were you the happiest? College? Your first job? Or in that tiny apartment above the bakery?

Why were you so happy? Get as detailed as you can.

Once you have a clear picture about what was different in your life when you were happy versus now, you can implement your plan.

Begin simple. If running was a part of your daily routine, start running.

If you had a dream to open your own shop and share your creations with the world, start by signing up for a class, then make things again, next open an Etsy store, and go from there.

It's actually very easy to be happy again... You first have to realize what you have lost and get her back. One baby step at a time.

10/27/2017

It's so painful to watch our kids suffer. It's even harder when it seems like nothing we do helps. Here are some options you can try if your teen is down and out:

1. Show your teen child that you can listen and not be a fixer or a protector. So often we know the right answer or something that would help and we offer up our knowledge too quickly. This only leads your child to clam up and not talk. Next time try only listening and validating their feelings (even if it's just teenage drama--it's your child's life). Once your teen feels like you "get it" they will come around and ask for your advice.
2. Get a real alarm clock and set a rule around technology and bedtime. Everyone in the house should follow the new standard (that includes you). Charge your phones and other electronics on the kitchen counter and watch how everyones quality of sleep dramatically improves. With enough rest your teen will be able to look at the situation with a more level head.
3. Make sure your teen is getting the proper nutrients. If you are unsure or suspect that vitamins may be low. Talk to one of our naturalpaths in New Prague and pick up a quality multivitamin.
4. Exercise with your teen. Just go for a walk. It's still fall and you can get some fresh air and spend time together. This will help in a variety of ways. Your teen will get some positive endorphins released from the cardio, hopefully catch some happy vitamin D rays from the sun, and see that you want to take the time to be with them.

As a mother myself, I know how hard it is not to know what to do or feel like you can't do anything to help. Hopefully these suggestions will arm you with the right tools to crack the sadness streak and get back your happy teen.

10/04/2017

Fall is such a great time to fall back in love.

Simple ways, like after dinner put down your phone and grab your partner for a walk.
This weekend rake a pile of leaves and lay in them together and watch the clouds float by.
Find a river valley and go for a drive with the moon roof open and check out the changing colors.

Fall marks the end of one season and the beginning of another. If your relationship has struggled to be a priority these past few months, turn the page and choose make it #1.

The holidays are right around the corner and when you are both feeling close, they are that much sweeter.

09/21/2017

Did you kiss your partner like you meant it this morning? If not try this dare. For the next 7 days, agree with each other to kiss like you mean it twice per day. And watch how quickly the "in love" feelings come rushing back!

08/30/2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vnKPdMXIdo

This is incredible 😂

Passive Aggressive Relationship Techniques - Ultra Spiritual Life episode 57 Order my new book at: http://HowToBeUltraSpiritual.com/ Ultra Spiritual T-Shirts...