John Donohie, CMT, Emeryville CA

09/26/2017

http://jdonohie.com/

12/11/2016

Found on Google from pinterest.com

12/11/2016

So simple, so evident

Found on Google from pinterest.com

12/11/2016

08/06/2016

Trying to ride out the summer slump.........I know it's not only me. Most therapists I talk to tell the same story.

08/06/2016

July 13th

The past several visits with Mr. Slate had been good. He seemed content, easier, softer. I had the feeling that he had resigned, not given up in a negative way, but accepted things for the way they were. He wasn't making demands, he seemed more pleasant, even asked me how I was doing.

I saw Mr. Slate on Wednesday, June 29th and he was fine. The session was smooth and not at all problematic. He was friendly and thanked me with a big smile. I received a call on Sunday from his care giver saying that he'd stopped eating on Thursday and had been vomiting that that there would most likely be no more massage. I received another message on Monday saying that he'd passed away. What a difference in 5 days........

This was a rich learning experience for me. The therapist who referred me to the job apologized for bringing me into such a difficult situation. I told him there was no need to apologize, that I like doing the work, that I'd learned a lot. I have no regrets about working with Mr. Slate. It taught me how to gently push my ego aside and be supremely present for another. When someone is dying, I think we should be there, just be there, words are not needed, human companionship is what' important.

A day or so after his death, I found myself full of emotion which surprised me. His sudden absence hit me and I realized I knew nothing about him and that even in our silence, I'd made a connection and was now missing that. My colleague and I were invited to the memorial service and I'm glad I went. There were 50-60 people there, which also surprised me. I thought he had no one in his life. A few people spoke, and as the time unfolded, a more full view of his life took shape. He was a wealthy socialite, a philanthropist, a theater enthusiast, a fisherman, and supported all things Stanford. He touched lives with a strange balance of softness and gruffness. All who spoke mentioned how much of a curmudgeon he was. He had weekly massages for the past 40 years. I was glad to be at the tail end of a long line of massage therapist who was allowed in to this mysterious man's life. I left there with a sense of who this person was and a better sense of closure.

My finances took a big hit when Mr. Slate died, he paid very generously.........for that, on a practical level, his death was a loss, not only on a human level. But for his sake, his passing was a gift. He wanted to go and was ready, thankfully he was able to do so quickly..........

08/06/2016

May 25th, 2016

This past week was a challenge with Mr. Stone. He was in a lot of pain and was difficult to communicate with.

The caretaker reported that his doctor said it is unsafe to turn him on his side to work along the spine and in the lumbar region. That's where he experiences the most pain. I should've done this long ago, but I asked if I could speak with the doctor, which I did. He said to give him whatever he wants, there's no danger from turning him or working on the muscles along the back and in the lumbar area.

I've always maintained that someone in his situation should have whatever he wants.

Mr. Stone is difficult for sure. He requested long ago that we use a foam wedge to elevate his torso while on the table. I've mentioned that this might be causing more lower back pain, he said he didn't care. He asked the other day to be transferred back to bed, then back to the table, then back to bed again. I told him this was too much lifting and could be dangerous for our backs, he said he didn't care. When we didn't respond immediately, he cried. He's a bit much. I convinced him to do away with the wedge, I worked on his back in the side-lying position, and he relaxed into the massage ands stayed on the table.

It's all a matter of problem solving.

08/06/2016

May 19th, 2016

Just when I thought I had a workable combination to get at Mr. Slate's back in the side-lying position, his doctor has put the kibosh on it. The Dr. says that his spine is very fragile now and that any work near or around it could be potentially damaging. It's a shame. Mr. Slate is in pain, and I want to help alleviate that and do what he asks, but also don't want to cause injury. As a CMT, it's imperative to stick to the tenets of the profession, one of which is "Do No Harm".

I can see the resignation in Mr. Slate's face as, once again, he loses power to control his life. It's a difficult situation and is rich with lessons for me.

08/06/2016

April 27th, 2016

It's amazing how easy it is to get into a routine.

I've been feeling pretty good for two months about filling a two hour massage with someone who can't turn over. I've done this by compartmentalizing: 10 minutes on each foot, 10 on each leg, 10 on each arm etc. I start at his feet and work my way around his body in a clockwise direction. Usually, at some point, when I'm working on his left side, he'll say to me "It's the other side that hurts". I tell him that it's important to visit all areas to increase circulation and try to move some of the toxins and fluid and that should include the left side. Part of me knows this to be true, but a wiser part of me today thought, "why work on areas he doesn't where he feels no pain when I could be working to address his discomfort"?

Today I spent a lot of time trying to get under his torso, not so easy, and work along the spine. I also spent more time on the right side of his neck and shoulder. He seemed to appreciate it, I can only assume this because he did not tell me to stop.

04/21/2016

Wednesday afternoons with Mr. Slate

Today wasn't such a good day for Mr. Slate. He was in a bad mood when I walked in and was in a bad mood when I left.

I spoke to his caregiver about the weight gain and the fluid retention, which is getting worse. She said the doctor was in yesterday and confirmed that the weight gain in the mid section is also fluid retention, which is making it very challenging to transfer him from the bed to the massage table. Then she told me that Mr. Slate asked her to help him end his life and that he asked the doctor the same thing yesterday. He's diabetic and has some sort of growth near his groin. He's refusing all medical care and he's cut off all of his friends one by one. He's ready to go I suppose, and I can't blame him. Unfortunately the human body can hold on for a long time.

In most cases, I would be trying to affect real change in tissue and making suggestions for self care between massages. This is so different. I have to remember that I'm there to just try to make him feel good for 2 hours of his day. I also have to remind myself to not take his bossiness and curt demands personally.

I don't think Mr. Slate will be here much longer.