Compassionate Conflict Management

11/15/2025

If you consider yourself a peacemaker, I want to invite you to watch this. An excellent example of a dialogue that led to mutual understanding. Let's build bridges...

The Enemies Project KICKSTARTER is finally here! Please donate here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/larryrosen/enemies-project-a-docuseries-where-enem...

06/10/2025

🫟When things don't go our way.🫟

An expansive emotional vocabulary is very helpful when we try to communicate what is happening inside of us.

Brene Brown lists the following emotions for
when things don't go as planned in her book Atlas of the heart.

"Disappointed: It didn’t work out how I wanted, and I believe the outcome was outside of my control.

Regretful: It didn’t work out how I wanted, and the outcome was caused by my decisions, actions, or failure to act.

Discouraged: I’m losing my confidence and enthusiasm about any future effort—I’m losing the motivation and confidence to persist.

Resigned: I’ve lost my confidence and enthusiasm about any future effort—I’ve lost the motivation and confidence to persist.

Frustrated: Something that feels out of my control is preventing me from achieving my desired outcome."

She makes the point about how finding common language is really helpful when we want connected relationships.

People who work at this are generally better at compassionate conflict management, because they have words for what is going on inside. THAT, is a very good place to start.

05/01/2025

Relationship disappointment explained

1. Person A hopes for X, Person Y can only give Y

2. Our old wounds open, thoughts and feelings arise. We might blame or judge ourselves or the other person, we might get overwhelmed by emotions

3. We can reflect and ask ourselves a few questions.

* Are my expectations realistic considering the other person’s capacity?

* What do I need from this relationship?

* Am I willing to accept what the other person can give, or do I need something different?

* How can I communicate what I need in a way the other person can hear?

I work with Groups or individual who want to work on their relationship with themselves and others. I teach my clients how to take responsibility for their feelings and thoughts as they gain clarity about their needs and boundaries. We also work towards on communication and conflict management skills.

Book a conversation through my website www.karingrobler.com or send a WhatsApp message to +1 443 790 2103. I consult in English and Afrikaans.

04/28/2025

Support and Guidance through Compassionate Conversation.
Book a conversation at www.karingrobler.com

04/19/2025

Recently, I supported and guided adult siblings who were experiencing some conflict about the next steps in taking care of an ageing parent suffering from dementia.

This is delicate work, because there are so many layers to this type of conflict. There is
a communication layer,
a personality layer,
a grief layer, and
a family systems layer.

This is more than pure mediation work; it is compassionate communication and conflict management work.

My goal was to help them create a communication and conflict management framework for the journey ahead.

I helped them to listen to each other's pain and gain some insight and compassion for each other, even though they might not always agree. I taught them compassionate communication skills to use for future difficult conversations. We set up a structure and plan to handle day-to-day communication and practical challenges. Together, we created strategies to navigate the way forward through a heartbreaking and challenging season.

Family mediation can be booked through my website https://karingrobler.com/

04/19/2025

I help my clients cultivate a deeper understanding of themselves and foster self-compassion as they navigate life transitions, cope with loss, and adapt to changes in relationship dynamics.

Through listening, guidance, support, and education, I aim to empower them on their journey.

As they share their stories and develop the skills to identify and express their needs with clarity, their relationship with themselves and others evolves and grows.

Compassionate Conflict Management and Relationship Skills are beneficial for

- Singles after divorce/relationship loss
- Parents of Adult Children
- Adult children of ageing parents
- Caregivers
- Individuals entering into a relationship with a significant other
- For parents, through every stage of parenting
- Anyone wanting more connected relationships.

For more information and to book a session visit https://karingrobler.com/

01/30/2025

LISTENING ALWAYS COMES BEFORE SPEAKING

Recently I was pretty upset about something. From my perspective, I was wronged, and I felt frustrated and sad about it. I could have just let it go and said nothing, but I know from experience that this does not solve anything. It just creates resentment that will blow up at a later stage. This is especially true when something happens between people who care about each other and want a continued relationship.

Now, here is the thing...when we are upset, it is challenging to communicate clearly. When we feel threatened our empathy for the other side shuts down and our first response is to blame the other for what went wrong.

Over the last ten years, I have spent a lot of energy and time focusing on communication skills, especially communication that connects and keeps relationships safe.

I have discovered that the first step to TURN CONFLICT INTO CONVERSATION is to have an in-depth conversation with myself about what is happening inside me. I have to LISTEN TO MY HEART first. I have to RESOLVE THE INNER CONFLICT FIRST before I attempt to communicate what is alive in me to another person.

If you would like to learn how to resolve your inner conflict about a situation, let me teach you how to work with the conflict inside of you. Let me teach you how to have a conversation with yourself before you have a conversation with the "other".

https://karingrobler.com/book-a-session/

12/28/2024

There is a difference between our needs/interests and the strategy we devise to get our needs met.

For example, two parties may l have the same need for safety, but the one's strategy to remain safe might be to build a high wall around their property, the other party might want to get to know their neighbours and build relationships in order to stay safe.

We often argue about strategies instead of determining what lies underneath our strategies.

If we discover common needs/interests we can colaborate on ideas to satisfy our needs/interests.

12/18/2024

Value Judgment vs. Moral Judgment...

Value judgments are judgments based on our own experience and values. We make moral judgments when we judge someone as good or bad.

Let’s say that I’m spending time with a relative, who tells me all the reasons they don't like their neighbor. My moral judgment might be that the other person is negative or intolerant. I judge that there is something wrong with them that causes them to speak about their neighbors in this manner.

My value judgment could be that I feel drained and annoyed when I hear this story because I value respect and consideration. This simple shift in focus helps me clarify my own needs/values and reduces my judgment of the other person.

Copied from Your Weekly NVC Reflection by the NVC Academy

12/17/2024

Mindfulness helps us to be present to ourselves and others.