04/01/2026
There are moments in caregiving that don’t translate well in a short clip.
And this… is one of them.
What you’re seeing is a caregiver calmly attempting to reposition a patient in a chair. Her movements are gentle. Her posture is steady. There is no force, no frustration, no intent to harm.
But the patient begins yelling… swinging… reacting.
And to someone watching from the outside, especially through a camera, it may look alarming.
But let’s slow this down for a second.
Not every reaction from a patient means something harmful is being done.
In dementia care, in elder care, and even in general patient care, a person can experience touch as confusion… or even as a threat. Their brain may not process what’s happening correctly. So what do they do?
They protect themselves.
They yell.
They swing.
They resist.
Not because they are being harmed… but because they feel unsafe in that moment.
And that’s a very important difference.
Now let me be clear—abuse is real, and it must be taken seriously. It should never be ignored or dismissed.
But we also have to be careful not to mislabel care… especially when we are only seeing seconds of a much bigger picture.
Because when we do that, we risk discouraging good caregivers… the ones who show up with patience, gentleness, and a heart to care.
As caregivers, we are often navigating moments where we have to provide necessary care… even when it is not received well.
That doesn’t make it abuse.
It makes it complex.
It makes it human.
And it calls for understanding, not just judgment.
So the question becomes…
Are we looking to understand what really happened?
Or are we reacting to what we think we saw?
