Canada Chaos

04/01/2026

I used to think healing was…confronting people about the things they’d done or said to hurt me. I thought it was lashing out, letting them see the anger they caused, & deal with the wrath or the aftermath of choices they’d made.

But in the last 2-3 years…especially in the last year alone, I’ve learned that the best healing you can ever do is sitting back, watching, & listening…and PRAYING. Lots of praying.

I promise, if you’re struggling with healing from the choices made by others that negatively affected you in any way, try this. It may be hard but in the end, it’ll be the most satisfying thing you’ve ever experienced.

03/22/2026

The meaning behind our logo:

🇺🇸 The American flag: we love our country (despite current happenings & decisions).

🩺 The stethoscope represents the medical field. This is something we've both been a part of as either patients or an employee. We've lived in this world at times since just being together and our oldest is currently a CNA & working towards becoming a surgical tech.

💚 The green ribbon represents mental health; this is something we can both relate to, understand, struggle with, & are passionate about.

🧡 The orange ribbon represents childhood cancer; specifically, leukemia as we went through that battle with our youngest.

🧩 The puzzle piece represents autism as our middle child is nonverbal autistic.

💊💉 The pill bottle & syringe represents a lot of things: medications, substances abuse, medical care.

⛓️‍💥 The handcuffs represent that even though people sometimes make poor decisions, they can be redeemed.

✝️ The cross represents mercy, grace, & forgiveness - even of poor decisions at any point in our lives. We love Jesus.

🌪️ The tornado represents chaos of all the things above in one family.

03/20/2026

Perception. This is a topic that often makes me SMH.

Have you ever heard the phrase "I thought you were a b**** when I first met you"...?
I hear that often. For many different reasons.

Because I have RBF.
Because I furrow my brow when I'm concentrating or intently listening.
Because at first I am standoffish with new surroundings and new people.

All of these things can paint a particular picture for some people. While what they see may not be wrong, people often never stop to think of the WHY.

WHY does she furrow her brow?
WHY is she standoffish?
WHY is she quiet?

I've actually had people tell me that I come across as someone that thinks I'm better than others because of these things. People have accused me of being unapproachable due to these same things.

The thing about perception though...it's not fact. It's what people ASSUME to be the truth. When it comes to meeting and/or getting to know new people, perception should be avoided. As humans, that can be easier said than done. But emotional intelligence helps us not judge based off of the first things we see.

Yes, I have RBF. Can I help that? No. Take it up with God. He's the one who created my face.
I absolutely furrow my brow when I'm concentrating or listening intently! It's my body's natural reaction during those times.
Being standoffish in new surroundings and around new people is me observing and taking in everything. It's how I learn people, how I read the room, how I understand the environment around me.

So, while all those things about me are absolutely true, it's beneficial to learn WHY before judging me. If a person bases what & how they THINK I am off of what they see without learning the WHY, they make themselves look like a clown in the end.

Perception can lead to assumptions. And we all know what assuming does.

And for the love of Jesus...this is 2026. WHY are ANY of us making ASSUMPTIONS about ANYTHING these days?!?!?!?!

03/15/2026

Nobody talks about what it's like when your child becomes an adult. 😳

We are currently experiencing this first-hand. And there's so many mixed emotions! 😬

Our oldest will be 22 this year. She's been working full time since she was 19. She's currently also in school to be a surgical tech. She's been in a steady relationship since October 2024. Her & her boyfriend just moved into their first place together. This moved her about 45 minutes from home. I'm so happy for her and of course so proud of her but it's almost like a numb feeling at the same time. She was my first. And there's a 12 & 15 year age gap between her & the other 2. She and I went through a lot together. And that first child is different from the rest. At least for me. I was 22 when I had her. I feel like she & I grew up together. I experienced all my baby "firsts" with her. I often think of her as my "trial & error baby" because I did things completely different with my other 2. 😂

Now that she's moved out, I sit and think back about the 20 years I had her. There were lots of ups and downs, especially in those teenage years. At times I didn't think we'd survive those years. But thankfully we did. I think about was there anything I should've done that I didn't? Thankfully, I feel like I did the absolute best I could with her childhood. Sure I made some mistakes. All parents do. I apologized, we talked about it, we moved forward. 💜

So now that she's moved out and on her own, where does that leave me? I think having 2 others at home makes a world of difference. They keep me occupied so I'm not dwelling on the fact that the oldest is no longer here.

It feels like a whole different set of emotions. When she was living at home, I pretty much knew everything that was going on with her. I knew when she got home and knew that she was safe when she walked back through the door. I was able to help if she was sick. I was able to be her shoulder to cry on & therapist when she needed it. Now that she's moved out and on her own, a lot of our communication is via phone and then we see each other when our schedules align.

When the oldest was 10 and I hadn't even conceived another one, I thought 1 child was all that was meant for me. God had a plan and executed it perfectly even though I didn't realize it. If I didn't have 2 others at home right now, the oldest moving out and being on her own would be a lot harder for me. At the moment, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I get to enjoy watching the oldest start her life and see where she allows life to take her. At the same time, I have 2 others at home and get to enjoy childhood years all over again. 🙌🏻

For those of you with children still at home, brace yourself to not know how to feel when they become adults and get out on their own. Some of you may grieve and others may throw a party. Just know neither emotion is wrong! 🥰

03/15/2026

When it comes to kids, especially kids with disabilities, I have ZERO tolerance and even less chill.

When I was growing up, I recall a conversation my dad had with me. He said, "Don't ever let me catch you picking on or making fun of anyone, especially anyone with any kind of disability". And I didn't. Partially out of fear because I knew if I did, I'd be missing teeth and picking myself up off the ground. But the other part was because I just am not wired that way. I never have been. There are so many things in this world I do not understand and may never understand. But the biggest things I don't understand is why people abuse children? Babies? Especially for those who somehow find pleasure and amusement in it. Would it be funny if that abuse was done to THEM? Nah, but they don't think about that. And maybe they experienced abuse in their childhood. So if they did, why not make certain to NOT inflict that on another innocent, vulnerable human being?

And I'm going to be honest. I think at this point, in today's world, as bad as things are & have gotten, even Jesus himself may not understand. And if he doesn't understand, there's absolutely no hope for humans to understand.

Gabrielle Fernandez
Zahara Baker
The Turpin kids
Elizabeth Smart
Jaycee Dugard
Jan Broberg
JonBenet Ramsey

I could spend all night listing names of children who have been reportedly abused, neglected, murdered, etc. The WHY always gets me. Especially when there are so many other options. If you don't want that child, can't provide for that child, can't handle that child, whatever the case may be - CHOOSE BETTER! Give it up for adoption. Drop it off at a Safe Haven. Sign it over to a friend, family, or even DSS for Christ's sake. Take it to a nearby hospital, say you don't want it, and leave. Will the child be traumatized by that choice? More than likely - depending on their age. But my God how much better that choice would be than watching a Netflix documentary about the severity of their life ending. At least if you surrender them, they can get therapy throughout their life to deal with it and move on. At least they'll have a chance at a successful, good life despite what you've done.

If you find yourself in this situation, for the love God & all that is holy, think about someone other than yourself. Think about the child. Think outside of your own box. Because believe it or not, there's more to life than just what's in your own head.

If you've ever made the choice to surrender a child VS them being abused or neglected, I commend you.

03/10/2026

Survival mode. You ever been there? Have you ever felt that? For me, I've been in survival mode 3 times in my life. Or at least 3 times that I can recall. For most, survival mode feels like being numb. Almost like your body is on autopilot. My last survival mode lasted 800 days. 2.5 years. And that's exactly what it was like for me. I was numb and stayed on autopilot that whole time. Those 800 days of survival mode came when we received our baby child's diagnosis of leukemia. We got the official diagnosis on November 2nd, 2022, and she rang the bell on January 10th, 2025.

Not long after she was diagnosed, I was speaking with the Social Worker of outpatient Pediatric Oncology. She asked how I was doing. I stared at her for the longest moment, unable to answer the question. I finally spit out the words "I'm ok". She asked how I was feeling. I explained I was concerned because I hadn't shed one tear since my daughter's diagnosis. She immediately reassured me that was normal. She said "You went into survival mode at the moment you got a confirmed diagnosis. And there's nothing wrong with being in survival mode. That's just the option your brain and body chose to respond. But just be fully aware it won't stay that way forever. You may stay in survival mode until her treatment is finished but it will eventually change". And she was 1000% right. I didn't crash when she rang the bell, but I started breathing easier. I started getting back to my normal self. I felt more aware of more things going on around me. Which is how I would have been in any normal situation.

I recall all the overnight stays at the hospital. All the week-long admissions, or longer than a week. Those were some very dark days. Imagine yourself in a hospital room for 7+ days at a time. Just you and your sick child. Lucky if you were able to have someone stay with you or someone to come visit. The mind can wander a little too far in times like those. It can be a humbling experience or a maddening experience. Or maybe both, at the same time.

Nowadays, there's anxiety when we go to her blood work appts to make sure she's still headed in the right direction, but the survival mode is at bay.

The benefit of being in survival mode is that your body and mind will automatically fight to survive whatever battle you are facing. Once the battle is over, you may crash. You may breathe easier. You may bawl your eyes out for days. But the main thing is...you survived.

If you're currently in survival mode, hang on. Hang on tight. It can't rain forever. (the movie The Crow)
And as always, we're here praying for you and rooting for you!

03/06/2026

⚠️ NOT A POST MALES ARE GONNA WANT TO READ ⚠️

🛑 If you’re a male, stop here. Trust me. 🛑

Ladies,

What y’all know about PMDD? I would guess probably not much, if you’ve even ever heard of it. It’s very extreme PMS. Extreme enough it has its own diagnosis. I suffered…YES SUFFERED…with this for at least 20 years. It gives a whole new meaning to the word fatigue.

I was medicated for this and even with the medication, it was still brutal at times. To the point I asked my doctor what else I could do and he said “There’s only so much to do for certain conditions. I would recommend praying & keeping to yourself during those times”. And I did. I learned during that time of the month, to keep my mouth shut & focus on getting through each day. There were times I literally could not even stand myself. I hated who I was during that time. This article lists 46 symptoms & I experienced over 20 of them. And it was a time of loneliness because not many people know about PMDD and the ones who did, didn’t understand it.

Thankfully I had a procedure in 2021 that made all the difference. I had to have an ablation & that seemed to make everything better. The PMDD no longer exist & I’m able to enjoy life a little better! 😃

If you feel you experience these things, I highly encourage you to speak with your doctor. ❤️‍🩹 🫶🏻

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) that may interfere with work, social activities, and relationships.

03/05/2026

Thinking about my post yesterday about anxiety, I realized freezing isn’t the only way I respond to anxiety.

I’m a very situational person. How I respond is usually dependent on the situation. There are times when I get entirely too much on my plate or too much thrown at me at one time that it comes out as me being snappy. A lot of times I try to take a deep breath in & exhale it all out but sometimes that’s not enough. What truly helps me is talking it out. Usually to Brian or my Mom. Once I spill everything that’s going on in my mind, I feel better & can then properly decompress.

That method doesn’t work for everyone. That’s how it works specifically for me. Unfortunately there are actually wrong ways to deal with anxiety. It came come out in forms of things like violence, physical & emotional abuse, drugs, or alcohol.

We hope that if you’re experiencing anxiety, that you can find a healthy way to get through it.

As always, we’re here rooting & praying for you! 🙏🏻 🥰

03/04/2026

🎶 Ooooohh somebody’s watching me, it’s my ANXIETY 🎶

Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out 2? If not, watch the first Inside Out before watching the 2nd one or it’ll never make sense. Also, highly recommend watching if you have small kids.

Anywho…in the movie Inside Out 2, there’s a character named Anxiety. See picture below. And closer to the end of the movie, Anxiety glitches & another emotion has to take over to stop her. If only it were that simple!

Anxiety can look very different in everyone who has it. It can range from something as simple as sweaty palms to literally crippling & being unable to function. And of course there’s all kinds of anxiety. Social anxiety, anxiety from being overstimulated, separation anxiety, & specific phobias.

But what does that look like? For me & Brian both, we get overwhelmed about different things. And when that happens, we have increased anxiety. For Brian, he gets extremely irritable. For me, I tend to freeze. My brain will be working overtime, going in all directions, and I just freeze. It’s my way of trying to process everything at once. I actually experienced this last night. And Brian had no idea what had taken place. He just noticed I was standing in one spot & seemed to be motionless. So he started asking questions…”what’s going on”, “why aren’t you moving”. And his questions sparked me to snap out of it & tell him the main thing running through my mind. Can you imagine what it would be if I wasn’t treated for it? 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Untreated anxiety can be very messy. It can lead to hazardous things such as unhealthy living & hoarding…along with a whole list of other things. Medication isn’t for everyone. It can be treated through various therapies. There’s no shame in having anxiety or getting help for it. In today’s world, if you don’t have anxiety, consider yourself lucky & blessed!

If you struggle with anxiety & you’ve read this, that means you’ve made it through almost another whole day! And you can do it again tomorrow! We see you! We feel you! And we’re always rooting & praying for you. 🫶🏻

03/04/2026

You guys share our page!
Especially if there’s someone you think we can help!

03/03/2026

Let's talk grief. I chose this topic because Brian just lost his mom at the end of January and at the end of this month, my Dad will be gone 24 years.

Most times when people think about grief, they immediately think of sadness. Some people think that once the funeral/celebration of life is over, you just move on as normal. Like nothing has happened. And to an extent, you have to do that. Because unfortunately, life and the world doesn't stop because we've lost someone.

But what about all the other emotions that come once everything is said and done? Of course people are sad. But what about those who feel guilt? Resentment? Void? Emptiness? Hopelessness? Many times people feel all of those. Maybe all at once or maybe a different one each day.

And grief can be very messy. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone has to grieve in their own way. And that looks different for everyone. There's also no time frame on grief. Sometimes people take steps to ensure they move on quickly and other times it sticks with people for a while - even years. I know people who have never gotten past losing a loved one.

What we have to always watch for is making sure that those grieving aren't trying to hurt themselves or others. If so, it's definitely time for intervention. Other than that, we have to give lots of grace & patience. Helping someone who is grieving can be hard. If you find it hard for you being the one who is helping, imagine what they're going through.

If you're the one grieving, keep that head up. Give yourself grace. Be patient with yourself. If all you were able to do today was get out of bed, we're proud of you. 🫶🏻

03/02/2026

Welcome! You’re probably wondering what this page is about. Let us tell you!

Who we are:
We are Brian & Susan. We have 3 daughters, 2 dogs, 1 cat, & a Nana. We met April 2016 & have been together ever since. We’re a family from & living in North Carolina.
🧔🏻 Brian comes from a troubled childhood, in & out of juvy, addiction, time in prison, graduating culinary school, and running restaurants for 20+ years.
👩🏻 Susan was raised a preachers kid who was in church every time the door was open, she backslid & strayed as she became a teenager, experienced SA by a family member, started her journey with mental health one year after giving birth to the oldest, tried to fill a void in bars, and finally found her way back to Jesus.
👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻 In the short time we’ve been together, we’ve experienced things that would tear most people apart. We’ve received the diagnosis of a nonverbal autistic child, we’ve raised a teenager who is now an adult (yes we’re still raising her, just outside of our home 😂), we received a diagnosis of leukemia for our baby child (who is in remission Thank You Jesus 🙌🏻), we’ve experienced job loss, death of family members, IEP’s, ABA’s, family issues, chemo treatments, mental health issues, the list goes on & on.

The reason for the page:
Relation. We’re just a small, mid-class family in NC but we know that some aspect of our lives have been experienced by many. This page is to talk. Share our experiences, relate to things others have experienced, speak about things people face on a regular basis but is never spoken of, help, answer questions. At the end of the day, we’re here to listen, be your sounding board, listen to you vent, tell us your experiences, be your safe space for things you would never dare speak of out loud.

Afraid or embarrassed to post or comment? Feel free to send us a FB message or email us at [email protected] !

We want to help. We love to help. Even if it’s just by mentioning your name to Jesus, we’ll help. 🫶🏻

‼️R U L E S ‼️⤵️

❌ No hate
❌ No name calling
❌ No bullying
✅ Agree to disagree if you must
❌ No negativity
❌ No judgement
❌ No bashing
❌ No belittling
❌ No politics
❌ No religion