Caring Transitions of Annapolis

28/09/2026

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I found my mother's wedding dress in a garbage bag in the attic and I sat down right there on the dusty floor and cried like a child.

That was the week I started reading "They Left Us Everything" by Plum Johnson, and I swear Plum was sitting right next to me in that attic.

If you have never had to empty your parents' house after they die, you can't imagine what it's like. Plum did. Her parents died just months apart after 60 years of marriage, leaving behind a house stuffed full of a lifetime, and she and her two brothers had to go through it all. Every drawer, every closet, every margarine container full of buttons, every letter, every piece of furniture no one wanted but no one could throw away.

Plum Johnson is not a professional organizer. She is a daughter, and this book is her love letter and her breakdown and her healing all at once. Her mother was the keeper of everything. She saved every report card, every ugly Christmas sweater, every dish set for 12 that hadn't been used in 20 years. And as Plum goes through it all, she starts to find the woman behind the mother. The young girl who wanted to be an artist, the wife who was lonely, the mother who loved so hard she held on too tight to things.

I read this with boxes of my own parents' stuff around me, and these are the lessons that hit me straight in the heart:

1. Their stuff is their story, not just clutter. I thought I was just sorting junk, but every object was a chapter. That chipped teacup was how my mom celebrated when she got her first job. That old tool box was my dad's dream of building things he never got to build. Plum taught me to stop rushing to "get it done" and start asking, what does this tell me about who they were before they were my parents?

2. You can't keep everything, and you shouldn't. I wanted to keep it all because I thought if I threw away their things I was throwing away them. Plum had to learn the same thing. You keep the one handwritten recipe with her handwriting smudged with flour, not all 300 cookbooks. You keep the photo where your dad is laughing so hard his eyes are closed, not every blurry vacation slide. Letting go is not forgetting, it's choosing what to carry forward.

3. The real inheritance is not what they left in the house, it's what they left in you. By the end, Plum realizes her mother didn't just leave her boxes, she left her resilience, her eye for beauty, her love of keeping stories. I felt that too. Sitting in that attic with that wedding dress, I realized my mom left me her stubborn hope. Even though that dress was yellowed and didn't fit anyone anymore, the hope in it was still beautiful.

If you are in the middle of this journey, or you know it's coming, read this book. It's funny, it's so raw, it's messy just like grief is. I finished it and I didn't feel so alone on that attic floor anymore.

22/09/2026

06/09/2026

06/09/2026

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📋 Scammers read obituaries, and the reason is simple: a death notice publishes the exact facts a bank uses to prove who someone is.

Date of birth, hometown, maiden name, mother's maiden name, the street the person lived on. With a few of those, a criminal can buy the rest, including the Social Security number, on the dark web.

Then they open accounts, take out loans, or file a tax return in the name of someone who can no longer object.

It works for two reasons, per AARP's Fraud Watch Network. The victim cannot check a credit report, so fraud can run for months. And the survivor is grieving, which is exactly when a caller posing as a debt collector or an insurance agent gets a yes.

There is a third, cruder version: a funeral date and time in the notice tells a burglar when the house will be empty.

Seven details to leave out of the obituary you write: the exact birth date, the place of birth, the middle name, the maiden name, the mother's maiden name, the home address, and the funeral time, which you share privately instead.

The first week after a death closes the other doors. Report the death to Social Security, send the death certificate to the IRS, notify every bank, and ask Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion to add a deceased notice to the credit file.

Pull the credit report once now and once in three months. Any activity after the date of death is fraud.

One limitation: a long-lost friend or relative who surfaces after a death is not always a scammer. Ask family who knew the person before you share anything, and treat any conversation that turns to money as the tell.

Did you know any of this when you wrote an obituary for someone, and what would you leave out now?

P.S. Once a week, I email the best money article I read, with my take on this week's top Facebook posts and what's new on the Ways to Wealth blog. It's free, and you can sign up on the Ways to Wealth home page.

R.J. Weiss, CFP®



The content shared here is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not personalized investment, tax, legal, or financial advice. Consult a licensed professional before making decisions based on your specific situation.