05/02/2026
My stbxw filed for a divorce 8 months ago, we have been separated for 8 months and moved in with her affair partner, divorced is to be finalized next month. Now she's begging not to go through with it and begging me to try reconciliation.
TLDR: my wife had an affair with a mutual friend, moved in with him, family and friends disowned her, their relationship didn't last long due to the stress of the divorce and everyone berating them, she moved out and got an apartment and now she wants me to take her back.
My wife(38f) and I(37m) met back in college. We dated for 5 years before getting married. Our marriage has been good with a little ups and downs. We have two girls 13&15
January last year, I noticed my wife spending more time in phone more than normal. She basically did what every typical cheaters does. Lied , blame shifted and gaslighted me when I tried to express my concerns. I know I was not perfect and I did somethings that I regret very much but she treated me like a piece of s**t all this time during her affair. I tried to improve all the aspects of of our relationship that she felt like they were not good. When DDay came in the beginning of June she confessed to having an EA and sleeping with him only twice. Then she blamed me for her affair. She said that she wanted to reconcile and we tried reconciliation but she was just not into it. She still contacted him and they were still talking. When I told her how uncomfortable it made me she said they were just friends and kept deleting texts even when I told her not to .
When I threatened divorce she would cry , apologize and beg me not to. When I tried to bring up the affair she would get mad and somehow I was the one who ended up apologizing. Then after two or three months she started disappearing again saying that she was visiting family because they needed her at the time. I knew she was going to see AP and when I brought it up she was very convincing. One weekend she disappeared and didn't pick up my calls or answer my text and when she came back , she told me that her cousin had gotten sick and they had to rush her to the hospital and forgot her phone at her sister's place. And all this time I was trying to make it work for us. She saw all the efforts I made but just didn't give a f**k. Then by mid December she told me that she was moving out, that she had been unhappy in our relationship and while she still cared for me she was in love with AP. That she had finally found her soulmate. I remember crying for hours trying to beg her but her mind was made up. We had to tell the kids. She said that I could have the kids for the weekdays and she could come visit them on weekends since her APs apartment was small. She filed for divorce a week after. This was the worst moment of my life I grieved for weeks. When I tried to talk to her to see if there was any chance but all she said that she was sorry for everything she put me through but her mind is made up.
No one other than us knew. Both her and my parents knew that we were only separated but never knew the reason. By the end of January when her mom called me and insisted I tell the truth I invited her over together with her dad. I told them everything and like literally I broke into tears and cried on my mother in law's shoulder. The comforted me and apologized for their daughter's behavior. I later told my parents and then some few close friends soon enough everyone knew about us and I started receiving comforting messages others talking I'll of my ex.
Soon afterwards , my wife called me crying saying that I turned everyone against her and that she hates me. She said that people were threatening her and AP and her dad hates( they had a close relationship) her and sisters don't want to speak to her. And no one will speak with her without insulting her. This was mid April. By the beginning of June , her relationship with AP had fizzled out due to stress. I remember she came to see the kids and told me that her AP kicked her out coz he couldn't handle the stress of their relationship. She was living in a hotel room. She didn't look good at all like some one who was depressed. She asked if she could move back in and I said no. She said that she understood but asked to spend more time with the kids . She said that she wanted to make up for the lost time with the kids and wanted to come in the afternoon and cook for them and spend time with them. I agreed. By this time she would come cook, my favorite meal, cleaned the house, write a small notes saying I love you together with flowers. when I came back home from work she would always try to spend some more time with me. I have to admit I did enjoy spending time with her. Then she started talking about how much she misses me, and asked divorce is what I really wanted. I always avoided this conversations . Last week now she told me that she had been going to IC and was wondering whether we should try MC . She has started dressing the way like , wearing makeup , she has tried to initiate s*x but I have turned her down. She has bought me more goods and more than countless times she has brought up MC. On weekend , she cried, begging me to not to go through with the divorce , that she has already put up with a lot and all she wants me and her family back , and she will to do whatever I want. I know it's like the roles are reversed. All this time I have been numb although a part of me feels Happy now that she has gotten a taste of her own medicine. I still love her but I don't really know if I should give our relationship another chance?
