XC Birkenbach & Associates

XC Birkenbach & Associates Consulting psychologists in people and organisational development to enhance business efficiencies.

02/08/2020

I'd like to add a few more ideas on the central theme of MINDSET which formed the core of some earlier posts. In this case, I'm going to introduce two or three concepts which will reinforce (rather substantially) the significance of MINDSET and how it affects our daily lives. Today I'd talk about the first one, the concept of SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY. A prophecy is a prediction of what will happen at some future point in time. Self-fulfilling implies that some mental activity takes place to ensure that the prediction becomes true. The mental activity referred to is the way we fabricate our beliefs and expectations about things that will happen in future. In this regard our beliefs and expectations influence our behavior at an unconscious level to determine that expected outcome. An important word here is "unconscious". So, there is a host of evidence for the impact of our beliefs and expectations on outcomes EVEN WHEN WE ARE NOT CONSCIOUSLY AWARE THAT WE ARE HOLDING THOSE BELIEFS OR EXPECTATIONS.
The self-fulfilling prophecy works equally well for positive as for negative expectations. If you wake up in the morning feeling that you are going to have a glum day, chances are that it will turn out that way. The reality will match the belief. As Henry Ford said: "If you believe you can or if you believe you can't, either way you are going to be right". Moreover, the self-fulfilling prophecy works equally well for intra-personal processes (expectations about your own behavioural outcomes - "I'm not good at maths. I wont be able to solve this problem") as well is inter-personal processes (prophecies you make about other peoples' outcomes - Teacher to learner: "You are useless at math and are going to fail". Result = failure).

A simple picture to help determine where we have personal control and where we don't.
23/07/2020

A simple picture to help determine where we have personal control and where we don't.

23/07/2020

For those of you who have followed this discussion, you will recalll that there are a number of key components that help in producing "personal hardiness" or "psychological fitness". These terms describe a certain MINDSET that enables us to deal with the ongoing challenges (and enjoyments) of life. We have discussed three. Here is the fourth: Feelings of PERSONAL CONTROL. In my opinion this aspect of psychological fitness is perhaps the key element of the entire concept. The aim here is to help people start understanding that they could create of lot more life satisfaction and personal growth by adopting a mindset of internal locus of control rather than an external locus of control. The question we need to ponder on is: are you in control of your life or is life (fate, luck, others, your past) in control of you?

Viktor Frankl, the famous Austrian psychiatrist developed two interesting concepts to help one understand how much control one really has. These are the “area of fate” and the “area of freedom”.

We often feel trapped by external events or people. Believing that we are victims because of what others have inflicted upon us. In other words, we believe our “area of fate” is very large and, of course at the same time believing that our area of freedom is very small. However, if we really look at things very closely, we find out that our area of fate is really quite small. Our area of fate is largely confined to our genetic make up such as race, s*x, body shape, eye colour. Thus, in reality, our area of fate is, in fact, very small. Our area of freedom, on the other hand, is infinitely large. This is because despite all our perceived constraints, WE HAVE THE FREEDOM OF OUR ATTITUDE. This is something that no one can take away from you. BUT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ATTITUDES. Both positive and negative.

10/07/2020

To summarise: We are talking about personal hardiness in times of change and stress. The fundamental point is that hardiness is a MINDSET and not determined by your genetics. Mindset consists of your thinking and resulting attitudes, sentiments and values. These are (and can be) learned. I spoke about the 4C's model of psychological fitness. So far we have covered CHALLENGE (Seeing challenge in change vs. seeing it as a threat) and COMMITMENT (Having a sense of purpose). The third one I'll discuss is CONTRIBUTION. The basic premise is simple: You will have a greater sense of inner strength or call it hardiness or psychological fitness the more your MINDSET is attuned to giving to life rather than waiting for life to give to you. I have alluded to this before: getting follows giving. Gratitude is simply an emotional state that triggers a sense of appreciation of what you have. Again I want to make the point: For the majority of people the natural tendency is to WANT. We are so caught up in a mentality of consuming and materialistic welfare. We want and we want more. There is no enough. How about reframing the MINDSET to giving (and giving does not have to be material things). Similarly, so much of life is transactional. It is rare to give for the sake of giving. It is transactional - if you give me this then I will give you that. For example, much of our mental unwellness today stems from our need for approval (which we can only get by engaging in a transaction). Ponder on the prevalence of our transactional relationships - at home (parent/child, husband/wife) and or course at work. "If you do this then I'll give you an increase in pay"; "If you lick my butt then ......." (the possibilities are unlimited here). There at least two learning points: Reflect more on appreciating what you have and expressing your gratitude. Ponder more on what you can contribute rather than waiting with cupped hands and expecting life to give to you.

09/07/2020

What attributes do "psychologically fit" people possess? The basic premise to remember is that it all depends on MINDSET - including how we THINK about the world and life events and resulting ATTITUDES that we develop. Remember, I spoke about the 4C's. The first C (challenge) discussed previously was "SEEING CHALLENGE IN CHANGE VS. SEEING CHANGE AS A THREAT". The second C is COMMITMENT. Commitment refers to having a commitment to some sense of commitment – a feeling that they have significant things to do in their future. Some would refer to this as having a vision of where you are heading in life. This produces hardiness in a number of ways e.g. it gives one a sense that your life matters; it gives direction; it makes the present so much more meaningful. A strong sense of purpose can make a difficult and unpleasant present quite bearable.

When talking about sense or purpose one is not really talking about attaining happiness. Rather, the question should be: “Where can I find meaning in my life?” Pleasure, satisfaction, and happiness ride on the back of meaning. In other words, accomplishing meaningful tasks will produce by-products such as happiness, pleasure and satisfaction. Where does one find "meaningfulness"? Firstly, meaningfulness doesn't come to you - you have to find it. And, it could be found anywhere. But you have to seek it out (Again bear in mind the importance of MINDSET. Every moment we have has the potential to be meaningful. We can choose. We have an infinite array of choices. How come we so often feel trapped?

In this regard, it is crucial to remember Viktor Frankl's advice: In stead of us always questioning life (why don’t good things happen to me), we must allow life to question us. In other words, what can I contribute to life. Reflect on this statement: Getting follows giving.

Let me end off with this question: What significant things do you still want to do in your future?

07/07/2020

In the context of the Covid19 era, this question was posed: what are the characteristics that differentiate people who are able cope with change, uncertainty and stress vs. those who fail to do? I will examine three or four which consistently come up from a large body of research results. Call them the 4 C's. All of them have a common denominator, namely MINDSET. In practical terms this means how you THINK about life and life events, and what your ATTITUDES are toward such events. Remember Hamlet's quote: "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. W***y Shakespeare got it right many centuries ago.

To tease out MINDSET, I'll deal with them separately over the next few posts. First is that capacity (or MINDSET) some people have to "see challenge in change vs. seeing change as a threat".
Change and accompanying stress is a natural part of our human existence. Yet, many of us have a perspective that they are victims of life. Of fundamental importance is the SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY always kicks. What you believe or expect will happen typically happens in line with your expectation. And don't forget: Personal growth does not take place when we are in a zone of comfort but rather when we face adversity, stress and change. And don't forget: all of life is a choice - even not choosing is choice. Can you recognise the importance of MINDSET? You choose your mind set. It is not programmed in your DNA.

06/07/2020

Here is a quote to consider: "While the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it". Who said this? A person who stands out as a giant of fortitude, perseverance and personal hardiness - Helen Keller. Under conditions of great challenge - loss of hearing and eyesight - she became spokesperson, role model and champion, not only for those who could not speak or see for themselves but for generations of people from all walks of life. The question that must pop up when one considers her life story: What are the attributes of those who not only are able to deal with severe life challenges but somehow manage to grow under these "constricting" circumstances? The reverse question: Why do some people fail, falter, collapse when faced with the demands that life poses us? The easy answer is that some are "strong" and others are "weak". This is not very helpful. To the rescue come psychologists who show great enthusiasm for research questions like this. The answers they have come up with will be explored in later posts.

03/07/2020

The $100 000 question was posed yesterday: Given these times of confusion, insecurity and uncertainty, are there ways, practices or tools available that an individual can be use to counter the stresses and anxieties which are almost inevitable? Before addressing this directly, it has to be borne in mind that at the best of times, the human condition is a stressful one. On a daily basis all sorts of things pop up from out the wood work that pose challenges and require coping behaviour. A second crucial point is that stress is not always "bad". We need stress to activate our energies to cope and grow as human beings. This form of stress actually has a name - eustress. However, as alluded to, sometimes stress can become debilitating and lead to an over-extension of coping capabilities with some rather nasty consequences for psychological and physical health.

02/07/2020

The covid times we find ourselves in are pretty daunting. Maybe not so much the fear of infection but especially the uncertainties that confront us in most parts of our lives. Uncertainties about jobs, finances, possessions, relationships. And how do we let go of the thought that the world we use to know is no longer going to be there? People are hard-wired to want certainty. We seek it and have a desire to generate it when it is not there. When attempts to reach a point of homeostasis fail, dissatisfaction, stress, helplessness and even hopelessness set in. The question is: Are there ways, practices or tools available that can be used to counter destructive emotions, thoughts and feelings?

08/03/2020

Successful three day psychological assessment intervention concluded in Mahikeng in collaboration with SJK Consulting.

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