The Ethicist

Call Website Contact the business

The Ethicist | Ethics Practitioner | Conflict Mediator | Humanitarian | Mohau Ngoepe also so runs a charity organization named "Mohau Cares".

30/09/2026

There is something called empathy; the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes, see life or situations from their perspective, and respond with that understanding.

Some people possess what psychologists call affective empathy. They naturally resonate with what others feel. Their suffering moves them, either because they or their loved ones have experienced something similar, or simply because they are emotionally sensitive to the experiences of others.

Others possess cognitive empathy. These are people who make a conscious effort to understand what another person might be thinking, feeling or experiencing, even when they cannot personally relate to their circumstances. They may not feel your pain, but they can understand it.

There are those who are apathetic; they may understand exactly what another person is going through, but
still care naught.

Which one are you?

30/09/2026

Before entering any long-term relationship — whether romantic, business or friendship — it is important to establish whether your core values and beliefs fundamentally don't clash with those of the other person. This can save both of you from endless conflict later.

Your values and beliefs do not have to be the same. They can differ and still complement each other. The problem arises when they fundamentally clash.

For example, a devout Christian and someone who is strongly opposed to Christianity may struggle to build a meaningful relationship. But a devout Christian and someone with no religious beliefs may have a chance.

Another example is someone who believes that their parents’ needs, wishes and opinions should always take priority over those of their partner. They may struggle in a relationship with someone who believes that partners should prioritise each other instead.

Difference does not necessarily mean incompatibility. The real question is whether those differences can coexist without either person constantly having to betray what they fundamentally believe.

31/07/2026

Selfless love is the hardest kind of love to find. So much so that some philosophers even define love as selfish in nature. The selfishness of love can be seen even in the relationship between a man and a dog, one of the most valued examples of pure love and loyalty.

It begins with a man finding a dog beneficial to him in some way, while the dog realises that it can depend on the man for food and care. There, an unwritten covenant is established. As the man feeds the dog, and the dog remains useful to him in some way, a bond is formed through this transaction until it becomes so strong that, even if the transaction ends—that is, if each stops benefiting the other—love continues to exist beyond the exchange. Only then does love become selfless: after being initiated by selfish needs and cultivated through mutual transactions. Therefore, selfish needs can become the foundation of a selfless relationship.

The same happens with humans. A man sees a woman from whom he believes he can benefit and promises her all manner of things. The woman likewise realises that she could benefit from the man. At the beginning, it is driven by self-interest. As they both invest themselves in meeting each other’s needs, a bond is formed—one that may eventually endure even beyond the fulfilment of the promises that first brought them together.

Whether we call it selfishness, selflessness, or selfless selfishness, one element remains constant: each person should focus on giving the other what they need, and that is altruistic.

30/07/2026

We know people love us by what they do for us, not by merely telling us that they do.

An overwhelming desire to be constantly told that we are loved stems from either insecurity (wanting confirmation to feel secure) or a lack of discernment or appreciation for the love we are already receiving.

21/07/2026

More than 95% of the things you feared would happen to you eventually did not happen. Yet, during the time you lived in such fear, you suffered psychologically from it.

The same can be said about the things you had hoped for.

However, with hope, even if things don't go the way you hoped they would, you would not have suffered from it.

15/07/2026

Being attached to your partner can make you think you love them, when you actually do not. An attached person wants to possess the other and fears losing that “possession” so much that they may hurt the very person they believe they love in an attempt to stop them from leaving the relationship. If that person leaves anyway, they may even go as far as trying to destroy them, or themselves. In their minds, they are killing or dying for love, but they are not.

So you see, attachment breeds abuse.

Love, on the other hand, sets the other person free. It lets them be.

03/07/2026

If you have to leave a relationship or marriage, leave to free or save yourself. Your reason for leaving should not be to punish the other person, because if it is, you are inherently admitting to yourself that they loved you. Had you truly believed they did not, you wouldn’t think that leaving would hurt them.

And if you have the strength to fight in order to hurt them, then you also have the strength to repair, for it takes greater strength to fight than to make peace.

A blessed Sabbath ahead to you all.

15/01/2026

One of the greatest challenges in mediating conflicts is that people are rarely completely honest. They often mix truth with lies to justify their version of events, reshape the story to suit themselves, cast aspersions, and describe what they felt happened rather than what actually happened.

For this reason, most mediation approaches focus less on establishing absolute truth and more on helping each party get what they truly want — through negotiation and compromise.

12/01/2026

Trevor Noah said that a monk once told him that peace is more important than happiness, and that one of the ways we can achieve peace and contentment is by appreciating the things we once direly wished for, without stressing about the inconveniences that come with them.

He gives the example of a dream car that requires servicing, maintenance, and fuel — or a partner who once gave you butterflies in your stomach but can sometimes feel like a burden.

In essence, he was saying that we can find peace by appreciating the roses 🌹 we once desperately wished for, and by embracing the thorns that come with them.

Address

58-60 Landros Mare Street, Thabakgolo Building , 3rd Floor
Polokwane
0700

Opening Hours

Monday 09:00 - 20:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 20:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 20:00
Thursday 09:00 - 20:00
Friday 09:00 - 20:00
Sunday 09:00 - 12:00

Telephone

+27151010643

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Ethicist posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Business

Send a message to The Ethicist:

Shortcuts

Share

Category