09/07/2026
Many parents don’t know this, but non‑agency payments can sometimes make life easier for both the payer and the receiver — when communication is good, or at least parents can communicate, and can be a great way around signifcant childrens costs, the big one offs that are super challening for a parent to find.
MUST DO: before a payment is made to an item, both parents can agree that part of it/all of it will count as child support. This can help cover big, unavoidable costs (like back‑to‑school expenses, shoes, camps, driving lessons) while also reducing the payer’s child support liability. I will use an ordinary cost like school costs below for example. Good to also consider speciall costs like Ortho, or other medical where parent under COA application CSA may generally go 50/50, but whatever percentage this could also work if a payer pays it all, and recovers RP commitment through future reduced CS and the child needs are met without dispute, conflict and long CoA applications showing everyones banks etc. So Ortho was 8k and 4k was agreed credit - creating 50/50 split through this option.
Example
Back‑to‑school costs are $1,000.
Care is 14% / 86%, so CSA assumes the payer meets 24% of ordinary costs in care and pays the rest through CS.
For example CS is normally $500/month, the parents might agree, following RP asking for support:
- Payer covers the $1,000 upfront
- CS reduces to $450/month for a period (10% reduction)
- Or $760 is credited directly to the payer’s CS balance
This would need to be in writing prior "If payer pays $1000 for education state school items, then $760 will be considered as child child support, at a 10% reduction of montly liability signed RP and PP"
Then-
- The kids’ needs are met
- The receiver isn’t left short, hoping the CS roles in quickly that month
- The payer gets fair recognition for contributing to real costs, and has also covered for ordinary their asssumption under CS, and experiences a real cost they may never otherwise see.
This isn’t suitable for everyone — but for parents who can communicate, it can genuinely transform situations and reduce stress for both sides. CS is met and payers feel more engaged, the children's financial support wins.
These little things can turn in big things, maybe someone owes a large debt, and Ortho is coming and the RP 50% is agreed to come off debt? Car lessons, Uniforms, so many things, special camps and trips - Note should always be things the RP will have otherwise decided is needed and will be spent on, so is same as getting the CS and spending themselves, but gives payers a chance at significant child directed contributions. It should not be something a payer has chosen, without engagement as this then does not work, it is not about control, it is about support and engagement.