15/06/2026
Ever caught yourself thinking:
“I know better than this… so why do I keep doing it?”
We see this all the time with capable leaders. They have the experience and technical expertise, yet under pressure they fall into the same patterns:
Short fuse.
Avoiding conversations.
Overthinking.
Pulling back.
Most leadership programs focus on what to do:
* Give better feedback
* Communicate more clearly
* Be more strategic
Important skills. But they often skip the deeper question:
Why do we do what we do in the first place?
Because without understanding that, behaviour change rarely sticks.
One model we use with clients is STEER:
S – Situation
T – Thoughts
Ee – Emotions and Energy
R – Response
The challenge is this loop happens fast and mostly on autopilot.
For example:
“This conversation is going to go badly.”
That thought can create anxiety, tension, or avoidance. The response? Delaying the conversation, softening the message, or avoiding it altogether.
Then the outcome reinforces the belief:
“See… that didn’t go well.”
Great leaders do not eliminate the loop. They learn to interrupt it.
They pause and ask:
“Is this thought helping me lead the way I want to?”
A simple shift to try this week:
* What am I thinking right now?
* What is that thought creating in me?
* Is this steering me where I want to go?
If not, choose a more useful thought:
“This is uncomfortable, but important.”
“I can handle this.”
“Avoiding this creates bigger problems later.”
Leadership is built in the small moments where we choose our response instead of reacting on autopilot.
That is where real change happens.
We’ve also included a short video explaining the STEER model.
Where do you notice yourself going on autopilot most often?
