Gold Coast Performance Psychology

29/11/2022

MEDITATION VS GARDENING

When you decide that you want a beautiful, vibrant, thriving and colourful garden . . . what do you do? Do you go out and buy one? Do you call the landscaper and have one installed? Do you purchase the fully matured plants and put them all in place . . . and then go back inside the house to admire your handiwork? And is that it? Gardening done?

No. That's not how it works, is it. When you're just beginning your garden, for perhaps the first time, you start by creating a space. You imagine where the garden will go, and you create and environment where that garden can be brought to life.

And then you prepare the ground. You may need to remove whatever exists where you want your garden: old, dead shrubs; walls; rocks; rubbish. Remove the "stuff" that is in the way. You may need fresh soil. Bags of it! And perhaps some manure. Smelly, but the stuff of life! And once you have the ground cleared and the soil prepared . . . . . now what?

A plan. An intention. An arrangement of some sort. And within that plan, you can dig the holes that are needed, throw in some wetting agent (especially for those dry days and weeks). You can ensure that your plants have room to grow, space to spread, and adequate sunlight. Some of them may even need support structures.

When the environment is fully prepared, you can bring in the plants. Not fully grown trees, but small shrubs, seedlings. Little plants that you can nurture, and watch, and with which you can create a relationship. You can place them carefully in the prepared soil, spaced according to their needs, and water them in. And then it is time to surround them with mulch, to keep their tender, growing surface roots protected and to keep them moist.

After all of this work, which may take days or weeks . . . . are you done? No, of course not! Because now you need to water those young plants each day. You need to ensure that they are getting sunlight, and food. You need to trim off any weak or diseased parts, and occasionally prune them to promote good growth. And you need to keep them safe from pests and harsh conditions.

Finally, after several months . . . or seasons, or years have passed . . . the garden is now mostly self-sufficient. But does that mean you no longer need to go there? No longer WANT to go there? No, it means that you still go there daily, to care for it, to nurture it, to tidy it, and most of all . . . to enjoy it! It is now a living, thriving space that you have created and bonded with, a space that still needs you as much as you need it. It can be your haven, your safe space, your peace and contentment, your connection with nature and life.

And so it is with meditation. It doesn't come in a package. You can't buy it, ready made. You can't get it from an app. You can't have somebody else do it for you. And you can't expect to start out big, or to "go hard" for a couple of weeks and then leave it to survive on its own. You have to BE WITH it, be PART OF it, and belong TO IT (as much as it belongs to you). It takes preparation, and effort, and regular attention. And once it takes off, and thrives . . . it it still a daily practice. But now it is one that you are connected to, and it is not a chore. It is your vitality.

Namaste. 🙏

28/11/2021

HOW DO YOU FEEL about you?

The "Blob Tree" idea belongs to Pip Wilson, British psychologist. It's a tool designed to encourage reflection, and open up dialogue, about a person's existence. Initially developed for children, it has been adapted (and widely used) for a variety of uses.

The basic premise of this tool is that you take a look at the various "blob people" and pick one that resonates with you (your life, your feelings, your experiences, the way you fit into the world). Among the various questions you can ask yourself are:

Which one represents me as I am now?
Which one represents me at the worst time in my life?
Which one represents how I would like to be?

There are some stock descriptors for each blob person, but rather than post those here, I'll let you make up your own mind about which one is you, and why. Feel free to comment if you find this tool interesting (or challenging, or enlightening).

10/10/2021

"MENTAL ILLNESS"

You might not realise it, but that's a pretty broad term which can be used to encompass almost anything affecting a person's thoughts, moods, or behaviours.

To make a brief analogy, imagine if anything that affected the physical body were referred to as a "physical illness". Obviously, some things ARE illnesses. But really, many of those things could be defined in more precise or more accurate terms.

Physically, a person can be born with a disability (e.g. a missing limb). They could develop a disability over time (as with cerebral palsy). They could suffer from a disease condition (like cancer or lupus). They could contract a virus or infection (like tuberculosis or pneumonia). They may suffer an injury (such as a broken bone). A person might even suffer a potentially debilitating (albeit temporary) condition as a result of over-exercise ("soreness").

Some of these physical issues might be permanent or untreatable. Others might be less permanent or more treatable. Some might be recurrent, some might be transient. Some are "normal" and resolve within days. The point it, we don't just label them ALL as "physical illness". And although there might be a stigma associated with a number of physical health issues, it does not apply to them all.

So . . . what if we started to treat mental health in the same way? It would be nice if we didn't have to whisper "mental illness" for fear that someone might hear us. Or have it appear on our employee records at work, on a pink page near the back. It would be nice, perhaps, if we recognised that some of the things referred to as "mental illness" are actually a normal, understandable, acceptable, manageable response to the psychological demands of life.

True, some mental / emotional / behavioural concerns are actually very serious, incurable, and will last a lifetime (severe autism, for example). Others may be the result of trauma (such as PTSD). Some are due to excess pressures or stresses in life (like anxiety). Others are simply situational and entirely appropriate (such as grief).

But it seems like there's a stigma associated with actually going to SEE someone (like a psychologist) to examine and address these issues, as if they're ALL some kind of significant, avoidable, self-inflicted "illness" that should be kept hidden at all costs. Imagine if every person going into the doctor's office or hospital were presumed to have syphilis!

The reality is . . . not everyone who is currently experiencing a mental, emotional or behavioural "condition" is suffering from a mental illness . . . and not every mental health challenge is something that should be stigmatised. So perhaps we need a new term, or a set of terms, or a whole new paradigm, to describe what happens (more accurately and with less judgement) when a person seems to be having some difficulty meeting the current demands of their life.

(Just something to think about, next time your head is as fatigued from a month in lockdown as your muscles might be if you'd spent a week at the gym.)

🙏

05/10/2021

HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED halfway through a meal and thought to yourself "I'm done!" or "I don't really want any more of this"? Or picked up an article of clothing and realised "I don't want to wear this any more"? Or perhaps even gotten into your car and said to yourself "This doesn't actually suit my needs these days"? Maybe you've even walked out the front door of your home one day and decided "I'm tired of being here, I think it's time I moved."

There's typically no judgement from others, little or no guilt, minimal self-recrimination, and certainly no stigma, associated with any of those choices. Often times there's even a degree of "congratulations" or vicarious excitement that comes from other people. But the picture can be entirely different if the choice we're making is to end a relationship, particularly a marriage.

In those cases, we might expect to hear responses like "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" or "That's such a shame!" We might be unsurprised to hear semi-joking comments like "Couldn't hold it together, eh?" or "Wow, I thought that was going to last a lifetime!" It's as though this particular decision was NEVER supposed to occur, and that the one made a year ago (or even 50 years ago!) should still stand, no matter what.

I'm not advocating marriage break-ups, not at all. Nor am I suggesting that we could all leave our relationships as easily as we might discard a half-eaten bowl of spaghetti bolognese. Clearly, ending a relationship is a far more impactful decision. But it's a decision based on similar changes - in needs, in expectations, in wants, in tastes, in feelings, in lifestyle. If you're allowed to make a choice to end something (like a meal) that has little bearing on your life . . . especially when it no longer serves its intended purpose (sustenance and enjoyment?) . . . why are you NOT "allowed" to make a choice to end something that has a HUGE bearing on your life . . . YOUR life . . . when it has run its course?

Perhaps if the stigma associated with the word "divorce" were no longer present, it would be easier for couples to make more frequent (as well as more conscious and more open) reassessments of their needs, and to work more effectively towards arriving at a mutually beneficial decision about the future . . . together or apart. We're happy to substitute "salad" for "fries", to hem or re-colour our clothes, to modify our cars, or to knock down walls in our homes. Perhaps we need to get more comfortable with discussions around modifying our relationships . . . and more comfortable with letting go when the time is right.

18/09/2021

It's great to see that there are some good programmes out there, getting good results, for our troubled veterans. And while the various forms of equine therapy might not be the only way to go, they certainly illustrate a valuable healing pathway for sufferers of trauma.

It's important to have something outside of yourself. Something tangible and real. Something that requires not only your presence, but also your attention and your effort. Whether it's horses, or art, or yoga, or community handcrafts . . . the fact of having something that demands more of your (physical, mental and emotional) being than your trauma . . . it can be a crucial part of the overal healing process.

The 1 hour of psychotherapy each week is a place to open up, to learn, to recognise problems and triggers, and to develop skills and practices that might help. The remaining 167 hours of the week are for the doing, the integrating, the changing, the habituating, the rehabilitating. It's where you get out of your head and into something else, something vital, something nurturing, something life-affirming.

Isaac Adams found horsemanship helped him shed the feelings of sadness and anger that he carried around, and now he is helping other veterans and their families reap the benefits.

01/09/2021

Further to my recent posts regarding some of the increasing mental health challenges (and tragic outcomes) faced by elite athletes in recent years, Jacqui invited me to join her for a podcast on the topic. There's a lot more to say (and do) about this issue, but perhaps this talk will contribute to the beginning of a change.

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fpodcasts.apple.com%2Fau%2Fpodcast%2Fcycling-with-lipstick-lycra%2Fid1526603151%3Fi%3D1000533914237%26fbclid%3DIwAR25OCN-_UYWQaG3Vv2RvpRz__tx8ZdEuOkU21QII2KIl7zIMpUi20x9Y8s&h=AT30aGIoY9N4IYFqp_ElQYKcDV69unIRoyLehH-YRkjt-tZXgv3Mi3ypB9r7ZHz2ddrGmBInG3dW2mtF37BppO1pWBwpIPS4a7WVpOVXhottLjVnqr4YX0j6w2ymlujQog&__tn__=-UK*F

26/08/2021

Following on from my earlier post (and a recent podcast, soon to be aired) regarding the mental health challenges of athletes, I’d like to take several minutes to go into greater depth about what I see as an increasingly significant contributing factor in this important issue. It’s about the way we actually develop, train and produce our top athletes. And I’d like to employ a comparison that I’ve made previously (in talks and articles): elite athletes and defence personnel.

So let’s look at the latter here, soldiers in the Armed Forces. We all know that soldiers go through a particular type of training, over a specific period of time (let’s call it “Basic Training”). What happens during basic training is that recruits are brought up to a certain level of physical fitness, mental readiness, skills acquisition, and general preparedness, for general duties (and possible deployment). I think most people would accept that, and it makes sense. For some of these recruits (those who aspire to join the ranks of “Special Forces”), subsequent training is even more intensive, even brutal.

In sports, a very similar process takes place. When you first join a team or a club, there is a period of training (a learning curve) where the athlete’s physical fitness, mental readiness, sports-specific skills and general preparedness for the competitive environment are explored and built up. For those who show a certain aptitude or desire, more intensive training (mostly physical and skills-based, but also mental) will take place. This additional training is designed to see just how good the athlete can be, to explore the limits of their capability, and to ready them for the world stage. Makes sense, right?

Back to the soldiers. Clearly it is important to make sure that we have well-trained, extremely fit, highly dedicated and skilled individuals, working as a team in a well-oiled machine, doing their jobs efficiently in an often challenging environment. In order to ensure their effectiveness, we modify certain aspects of their mental, emotional and physiological functioning. We make them very alert and aware of their surroundings, and very sensitive to potential threats or dangers (hyper-vigilance). We make them very high-energy, very wound-up, ready to perform at any moment (hyper-arousal). We make them more task-oriented and less concerned with personal discomfort, distress or worry (emotional numbing). These (and other) changes make them more effective military machines, and increase the likelihood of their success in the field. Again, a sensible practice, right?

But here’s an interesting point. Those three things I mentioned above (hyper-vigilance, hyper-arousal and emotional numbing) are three of the symptoms that we screen for when diagnosing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Yes, they’re effective (and even necessary) characteristics for doing a very challenging job, but they are also clinically significant in terms of mental health problems down the track. They’re not “normal” ways of functioning, and they’re not really healthy or sustainable in a natural (civilian) environment.

Okay, back to athletes. We know that every year (and especially every four years, the Olympic cycle) there is a huge push to produce the best athletes for competition on the world stage. So we have a similar process of ensuring that we have the most well-trained, physically fit, highly dedicated and skilled individuals, travelling together as a team to represent our nation, to compete in a challenging environment against other nations. (Sounds a bit like a war, doesn’t it?) And similarly, our process with athletes involves modifying certain aspects of their functioning, so that they can do what they need to do, and do it extremely well, without missing a beat. (Because that’s what it takes to win Gold.) My question is: When we do this with our athletes, are we setting them up (unintentionally) to be vulnerable to those same kinds of mental and emotional challenges described above? Are we actually giving them characteristics that work great “in the field” but that don’t fit in so well with other aspects of normal life? Based on what we’ve seen over the past couple of decades at the highest level of sport (and in recent weeks), I would suggest that the answer is “Yes”.

ALERT: This part may seem overly laborious. Bear with me.

Take a look at this list of “symptoms”:


- Exposure to extreme stress
- Unwanted upsetting memories
- Emotional distress or physical reactivity upon exposure to reminders
- Avoidance of things (or people) that bring back unpleasant thoughts or feelings
- Overly negative thoughts and assumptions about oneself or the world
- Exaggerated self-blame
- Negative mood
- Decreased interest in activities
- Feeling isolated
- Irritability or aggression
- Risky behaviours
- Difficulty concentrating
- Difficulty sleeping
- Symptoms create ongoing distress or functional impairment
- Lasts for more than 1 month


Does any of that seem familiar, if you were to apply it to an athlete you know, or one that you’ve seen featured in the media recently? How many of the boxes would they tick? Well, here’s the scary part: You know where I got that list of symptoms from? That’s the (almost) full list of diagnostic criteria for PTSD. Does THAT help to join the dots between elite athletes and soldiers?!

Yes, we can produce some of the most highly trained and best performing individuals (athletes or soldiers) on the planet. But at what cost to those individuals? Now, I’m not saying that every person (athlete or soldier) who goes through this kind of training or has these experiences will be vulnerable to mental health challenges. Many actually thrive, and look upon their careers as among the greatest, most enjoyable and most enduring achievements of their lives. Some to a lesser extent, where it becomes simply a “normal” part of their lives, a worthwhile (even lucrative) career, or perhaps just a job (like so many others). And others choose to leave (due to dissatisfaction, or lack of achievement), or are forced to leave (due to injury, or poor performance).

So here’s the point I’m trying to make: It’s not just that latter group (the ones who leave their chosen field) that we need to worry about. Yes, they may struggle, and they may need help with the transition. But we also need to concern ourselves with those who stay, those who seem to be successful, those who stay at the pinnacle, those who appear to endure and thrive. Because it’s often them who we see in the headlines, to our great surprise. It’s often them who we question, and wonder “What’s going on in their life, what’s wrong with them, what happened to make them stumble?” . . . when we really should be asking “What was the impact on them, of everything they’ve been subjected to by the culture and the institution they belong to? What, while they seemed to be getting stronger, was actually creating vulnerabilities? What did we NOT do so well (to them and for them) while we were doing other things so well?”

Think of it like blade-smithing (the process of making a sword). You take a good piece of steel, and you heat it, hammer it, shape it, bend it, sharpen it, heat it some more, quench it (to increase hardness), refine it and put a shine on it. And then you test it. But how can you tell which ones you subjected to too much heat, or hammering, or hardness? They all look roughly the same . . . until one of them breaks. And then? Do we blame the steel for being faulty or weak? Or do we actually question the bladesmith, or the processes they used, or the person who wielded the sword? Should we ask the swords (if they could speak), “Which of you is feeling a bit fragile, and would rather not be tested?” Should we expect a few raised hands? I suspect not. But we DO need to find a way to stop breaking swords and then tossing them into a bucket in the corner.

We need to look at the numbers and realise that maybe we’re not doing something as well as we could be. We need to recognise that the training, the pressure, the ‘hardening’, the testing, the scrutiny . . . possibly the whole environment . . . has to change in some way, before we lose even one more soul. We need local, state, national and international sporting bodies (from junior club level up to IOC and professional level) to accept a degree of accountability for what’s happening to the people in their charge. We need to have a better understanding of HOW the immense and intensive processes we use to create these super-humans (often before they even reach their late teens) might be affecting them mentally and emotionally. We need to more carefully nurture young people through the “furnace” of parents, coaches, trainers, teammates, team managers, competitors, spectators, sponsors, media, and social-media trolls, ALL of whom play a role in the outcome.

We don’t just need to count gold medals. We need to count people, and we need to understand how to help them become more sustainable athletes (and citizens). We can, and should, do better.

17/08/2021

I deliberated on this for a week. I've decided to air my thoughts.

The sad and untimely death of another elite athlete, cyclist Olivia Podmore, once again highlights the mental health challenges faced by so many in the world of professional sports. (It is not a problem unique to sports.) There are frequently statements made (often based on assumptions and ignorance) about those athletes' lives, and what it says about their character that their lives ended this way. For an athlete, even admitting that they FEEL this way, or experience these thoughts, is to open themselves up to a potential barrage of criticism and judgement.

What I often see (as I scroll through commentaries in social media platforms, for example) is the mistaken belief that elite athletes at the top of their game have a charmed life. They're doing sport for a living, playing games for money, fortunate no to have "real" jobs, revelling in glory, fame and money . . . and have no justification for complaining about it. Their choice after all, right?

But it's really not that simple. Nor is it as simple as "They couldn't handle the pressure of being at the top, or being in the limelight, or facing media scrutiny". Sure, for many that IS a big part of what breaks them in the end. But to be fair . . . how many of us could put in as much effort at OUR jobs, in a constant state of public competition, where success means payouts but failure means hatred, trying the whole time to be the BEST in our field, and having to explain every win, and every loss, to a crowd of hungry reporters looking for a juicy angle? (I'd last less than a week!)

There's more to the story though. You see, in MY field of work (and probably in most of yours too), I never had to commit to it as a teenager. I never had to get up at 4am to go train as a psychologist while my friends were still sleeping. I never had to do repeated drills until I was exhausted, and THEN go to school for the day . . . only to do more drills when I got home again. To be a psychologist, I never had to give up practically EVERYTHING else about my life, in order to reach the top 1% of my profession, because that was the only way to actually make a living out of it. Did you?

It must be SO hard to give up friends, family, play, fun, holidays, sleep-ins, junk food, and even episodes of just not giving a damn, simply because your rivals will still be hard at work trying to claim that spot on the team while you're having a "normal teenager" day. But even if you DO make it through all of that, and you succeed in getting a spot on the team (or a selection to the national squad), there's no guarantee you'll keep it. It's not like getting tenure, or a government job, or a position where you can't be sacked for under-performing. It's actually a VERY short-term career for the most part, a career whose worth is measured in things like medals and trophies. And if you didn't come home with some of those things this month . . . you've achieved nothing!

Imagine if YOUR job was only seen as worthwhile if you wrote the STRONGEST report, or made the BEST coffee, or saw the MOST clients, or worked the LONGEST day, of anyone in the world! Or how about being told by your boss that they don't think you actually have it in you (this month) to beat everyone else in the world at your job . . . so we're giving it to somebody else, sorry. Try again next year! Or if you returned home from the "World Accounting Championships" having finished 19th in the entire world of accountants, only to be ignored completely (or criticised), because somebody else from your country actually DID achieve something and got a third-place medal in the field of Pastry Chefs. (Again, I would not be coping.)

These are the kinds of pressures that elite athletes must face, from a very young age until they retire (often in their 20's or 30's) to a life of . . . . . what? What other skills did they learn in their 16-hour days? What other jobs could they do, now that they're of no use to their chosen profession? Who could they turn to that would understand their experience? What now will give their lives meaning??? For many, there are answers to these questions, and a path that lies beyond that of professional sport. But for some, the end of that road is the end of THE road. And this is the tragedy that we see playing out far too often.

It's a long-standing and systemic issue, one that breaks bodies, minds and hearts. It needs to be addressed. Talking about it in hushed tones after the fact just doesn't cut it. I don't have THE answer, but I'd sure raise my hand to be part of the group that goes looking for one.

Olivia Podmore competed at the Rio Olympics.

10/08/2021

As a psychologist, I was recently asked the following question: "How can Australians stay mentally healthy amid tough lockdowns?" So here are some of my tips for getting through the pandemic with at least a similar level of sanity to when it started.

1. Take it seriously. The most important thing you can do is to keep yourself safe and healthy. Step 1 is to LIVE THROUGH IT!

2. Take your mental health seriously. It's not supposed to be an afterthought. If you lose it, you might struggle to get it back!

3. Structure and routine are important. Get out of bed, do your work, eat regular meals, sleep at night, exercise.

4. Don't keep reminding yourself of what you can't do. Within the restrictions, find new or fun things that you CAN do.

5. Practice mental & emotional self-care. Keep a journal, do something creative, talk to friends, express your needs.

6. Avoid the binges. Binge-watching, binge-eating, binge drinking, etc. They may seem harmless, but the pattern can take hold easily.

7. Remain flexible. Things are going to change, sometimes often or without warning. Adaptation is a good strategy to adopt.

If you DO all of these things, you'll be in better shape than if you don't. It's not complicated. But if it seems to be, then print out these tips and keep them somewhere visible as a daily reminder.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES (AND EACH OTHER)!

05/08/2021

Two perfect scores and an Olympic gold medal at age 14, beating her nearest competitor by a substantial margin.
“I was a little nervous, but not very, just a little bit.”
Also quite a high level of poise and humility.
"I don't think I'm a prodigy. I'm not very bright."

Sometimes . . . when you don't consider yourself particularly special, you don't worry too much and you don't over-think things . . . you can focus all of your energy and attention on the one thing you do best.