30/09/2026
My husband Darcy & I celebrated a 25 year wedding anniversary yesterday!
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Given that 1 in 3 relationships in this country now fail, maybe an extraordinary achievement celebrated by just living out another beautifully ordinary day together.
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Trevor and I run a fortnightly call with the Living Courageously mentorship group and so to mark the milestone I spent some time putting together some thoughts to share.
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I came across this analogy by Allan Petersen (no clue who he is) but his take on "The Marriage Box" resonated.
We get an empty box when we start a relationship.
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Or maybe at best -- a box of firecrackers!
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They get spent pretty quick and we are left with an empty box that two people have to then fill. Here's what 25years of living together has taught me.
Be sure to fill your box with the following:
🔴 Encouragement - become their greatest cheer leader!
🔴 Praise - give it willingly
🔴 Appreciation - express it constantly
🔴 Forgiveness - offer it generously
🔴 Presences - ( be the person that makes them feel Held, Seen & Heard)
🔴 Forgiveness - do it quickly!
🔴 Apologies - if the relationship is worth more to you then being right... apologise anyway!!
🔴 Vulnerabilities - your fears, shame & hurts - share them unguardedly.
🔴 Pleasure -- understand how to pleasure your partner in the most intimate of ways & communicate your pleasures
🔴 Requests -- make requests for what you need from each other in all areas of your lives.
I have learned that these are the elements that serve to methylate together and create trust, respect and belonging
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LOVE -- real love -- that deepens as we transition through life's seasons.
