11/04/2020
We need to feel it to heal it.
When we experience a physical injury, we accept the hurt and pain as part of the deal and our approach is mostly pragmatic; we disinfect, stitch, dress, seek therapeutic support, possibly surgery or physio, because we know if we don’t there can be longer term repercussions. Ongoing infections, festering, scarring are possible and we are likely to take much longer to recover. If we ignore the problem, hoping it will just go away, we often get worse. We would never suggest to someone with a broken leg to get over it and walk. There would be an expected recovery phase, transitioned, which might include, plaster, crutches, gentle exercise before returning to full duties or strenuous exercise.
With emotional pain and wounds I believe if we took the same approach, we would all experience a deeper healing. But too often we push through, pushing down, covering up unhealed wounds; from heartbreak, childhood trauma or grief and loss. All of us has scars, none of us escapes untouched by pain, but have you nursed yours? Did you pay them loving attention, being kind, gentle and compassionate, giving your deep cuts time so they no longer limit you in living your life to the fullest? Or are they just below the surface, bursting open with every trigger? Maybe they are so gnarled and hardened they are restricting your heart muscles. We know scar tissue, if it’s deep, is constricting, is has no give, no flexibility. Have you allowed the scars on your heart to cover it so you no longer feel, are you numbed to your pain?
A lesson I have learned is feeling through all pain is a far healthier way to live, keeping our hearts open. Does it mean we get hurt more often? Potentially, but I know when we allow ourselves to feel pain, any pain, to sit with it, honour it and respect it, our recovery becomes part of our strength. We develop a willingness to take chances, because we can trust ourselves that we can handle whatever comes our way, deep down, whatever the struggle, we know we will be ok.
