07/10/2022
Re-post from When the big truth hit my consciousness, the macro truth that beginnings and endings are a natural part of life …. I started to ruminate aloud with friends about the idea of creating a registry for divorcing friends to set up for this new phase of life. I didn’t do it . Most friends said, with a fair amount of disgust, why would I buy someone a gift because they are getting a divorce?” People who are in the life process, whether with grown kids, toddlers or no kids, there are two people leaving what was likely a known, secure (although dysfunctional or they wouldn’t be divorcing) financial framework. Maybe one is a primary breadwinner and the other does more childcare… there is a huge shift! It’s not about who cheated or who is a narcissist or who doesn’t want to have s*x anymore when you’re paying the bills and trying to keep basic needs of a family system operating…. These people are making a decision TOWARD health and a better life. NO ONE ends a relationship that’s working for both parties. Even if one person feels betrayed or angry- these people are ending one life framework to try and create a NEW framework that WORKS. We should be supporting our friends and family on this endeavor in the same way we support new jobs, new moves, new house, new babies, new marriage…. Divorced families can be intact and healthy for everyone. Kids suffer from unwell fu**ed up parents- married or divorced.
