Liz Wootton, Human Nature Development

11/01/2023

Do you state your boundaries clearly, or do you hint at them?

Last night was Halloween. I have no objection per se to trick or treaters - actually I love the excitement and joy of it, especially the costumes - but I have two bull terriers that get extremely excited when anyone comes over. The thought of an entire evening of them barking at the doorbell and desperately wanting to meet all the kiddos at the door is too much for me.

I could just turn off the porch lights and hope that people get the hint. The reality (I have learned from experience) is that not everyone will respect that boundary - because it’s not 100% clear. Someone would come a-knocking. Maybe their parents didn’t teach them this clue. Maybe they just figure it’s worth a try. Maybe they are out before it’s dark.

So I put up a sign. Something that clearly says Do Not Disturb. But it’s not a grumpy sign. It’s lighthearted and fun. I get creative with my whiteboard and leave it outside my front door.

And it works.

No one knocks on the door when I have a sign out. They take some candy and off they go. My boundary is respected and everyone is happy.

We often worry about stating boundaries. It might mean having to face up to some discomfort or awkwardness around having a conversation with someone. If you’re a natural people pleaser it will feel doubly difficult.

But here’s the thing: ***clearly stating your boundaries is actually kind***

Clearly stating a boundary sets everyone up for success. The vast majority of people want to do things in a way that keeps you happy. If they have clarity on what that is, then you’re giving them what they need to make you happy. And when they respect your boundaries, you feel good too.

How do you rate your aptitude with boundary setting? What boundaries could you state more clearly to those around you?

PS. Frankenweenie makes me cry. Sparky reminds me so much of my own doggos ❤️

PPS. I didn’t set a boundary on how much candy to help yourself to. Some kids might have helped themselves to rather a lot, because the bowl needed replenished a surprising amount 🤣

05/09/2023

Sometimes I witness magic. Last week at an event I facilitate for business owners, one of the attendees came up with this gem. "You think you have to hone your craft before you put it out into the world. Actually you're going to let the world hone your craft." 🤯

This is beyond just giving yourself permission to take imperfect action. This is understanding that we only truly get to hone our craft when we practice it in the real world.

What are you holding back from the world because it's not "ready" yet? What magic is hiding? And how can we support each other in releasing it, revealing it, and honing it in public?

Thank you to Aaron from for this gem and for giving me permission to share!

04/17/2023

Vulnerable share incoming. Today is a survival day for me. A day just to get through. I am recovering from a (minor) surgery and I had some difficult news about my elderly mother over the weekend which is going to take some processing.

I know we all have survival days, for all sorts of reasons.

Some people push through - keep themselves busy to distract from the unpleasantness of whatever is happening and push away the difficult feelings.

You can feel a pressure not to spill your difficult feelings on others or to be an inconvenience.

Some people have shame about what they are experiencing. Or guilt that it’s causing them to be less productive than usual.

I know I have felt all these things in the past. I pushed myself back to work almost immediately after my dad died because I didn’t want to let people down. I guilted myself into being productive to the point of burnout when my chronic pain was especially bad because I didn’t want to “admit defeat”.

Yet I would never, ever, expect anyone else to do that. I would never speak as unkindly to any other human as I have spoken to myself.

Things have changed, and I (mostly) don’t pile that pressure on myself any more. It’s been hard learnings to get here.

So, what if we normalized struggle as part of life and work, and made allowance for it? What if we got better at speaking to ourselves with kindness when it was most needed? What if we made space for those days when all we feel able to do is survive? What would that mean in business?

That’s what I am doing today. I am trying to make space just to feel whatever I need to feel. I am allowing myself to be vulnerable so I don’t have to hide what’s going on and pretend that I am ok. I am trying to communicate the needs I can actually communicate. Instead of struggling through, I am acknowledging the struggle and being kind to myself about it.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.

04/11/2023

Ever wonder why some people seem to find it easy to ask for whatever they want, whereas some people find it painfully difficult?

If you grew up in Ask Culture, you probably learned that you can ask for anything, but also that you might be told 'no'. You probably don't mind other people asking for what they want, and you're probably comfortable refusing requests as well.

If you grew up in Guess Culture (like me!), you probably avoid asking for anything unless you're pretty sure the answer will be yes. You might put out some feelers to figure out how someone will react to a request, or you'll drop hints in the hope that you won't have to ask directly because the other person will offer you what you want. You might also be uncomfortable with other people asking for things, especially if you want to say no, so you may end up agreeing to things you don't want to do.

When "Askers" meet "Guessers", they aren't always on the same page. Frustrations can occur!

But being aware of the other culture can be very helpful.

Which one are you? And what do you struggle with as a result?

With grateful acknowledgement to Andrea Donderi, who first posted about Ask and Guess Culture in 2007.

01/24/2023

News Flash. If you’re a business people, you’re a creative people. Creative isn’t only artists and musicians and writers. Marketing, product development, problem solving, refining services, merchandising, working with your team… it all requires creativity.

How are you making space for creativity? If the answer is, “I don’t have time for that!” you’re not alone. Time to challenge that belief.

If you want to find the space in your work and life for more creativity, rest, or just to “be”, I can help you. Let’s talk.

01/24/2023

Sometimes magic happens in workshops when you let people get creative and listen to what they are telling you. We were exploring shame and how it makes you feel… and lo and behold, we invented the world’s crappiest superhero: Shame Man 🤣

Yes, Shame Man will likely make a regular appearance in Human Nature Development work from now on, complete with his dropping stomach, butterflies, tingly head, tight shoulders and his shame deflection lightning bolt weapons.

From January 3rd - the first workshop of 2023 on Human Skills with the awesome team at

11/21/2022

Well this Trauma Informed Practice training was AMAZING (and well worth giving up a Sunday for). I have spent this morning so far reflecting and being excited about what I learned.

05/11/2022

Ahem. Just in case you need a reminder. I may teach this on the daily, but programming goes deep, and I still need to remind myself too.

Hot take:

04/27/2022

Why is it that if someone doesn’t respond well to negative or ‘aversive’ old school training methods, we label them as ‘too sensitive’? Why don’t we question their training method and ask them to do better? We need to teach people how to use positive reinforcement for training people - people learn much better this way! Support and kindness are not weaknesses. They are cornerstones of success.

04/05/2022

Avoidance of uncomfortable subjects is not a strategy - and it may come back to bite you in the behind.

03/31/2022

I have been very quiet here. It’s not because I haven’t been doing anything - quite the opposite actually… I’ve just (almost) finished a massive content migration and upgrade of my .life.smarts program and now I’m ready for a large gin.

There are likely a few bugs to iron out but I’m really happy with this! And you know what? It means full launch is a-coming! Watch out for some cool stuff in the next few weeks. If you want better balance, this program is for you ❤️🔥