08/21/2021
Why and How?
It is a Saturday and I woke up early morning which is atypical. I thought to myself, maybe I should go back writing blog posts again to channel my energy. One step at a time.
It has been 2 weeks since my 3rd pregnancy loss was confirmed but it still haunts me. I still think why, what did I do wrong, what did I not do, did I miss anything, all sorts of questions. I believe this is an ongoing process. It'll take time.
I've also recently shared the news to relatives and friends. I am grateful for the support, prayers and thoughtful words that I have been receiving. I feel loved. Some people have directly reached out and even shared their stories. However, some conversations don't end up as encouragement. Some people have made comments like "have you done ###", "be more careful next time", "you should have went to yyy", "you should have tried taking this vvv pills", "take bed rest next time"....... These words though sometimes made me more guilty and question myself if I should have done better. I know I shouldn't, but I did.
What have I learned from these?
1. God has the answers.
No matter what research I do or hear explanation from the medical perspective, we can't fathom His understanding (Isaiah 40:28). Whenever I have these questions in mind, I always go back to Deuteronomy 29:29. It says, "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law." This calms me and reminds me to trust His will.
2. Choose to be kind.
I know some people does mean no harm to make me feel bad (I may just be too sensitive too). Probably they just don't have the more appropriate words to use. What is important and is they intend to comfort and show support and I appreciate that. Let us be kind in our words and be understanding when we hear words from others too.
Thank you for your time reading. May this inspire you today. 🙇♀️
