Radical Eros

11/12/2025

The following is a snippet from my upcoming newsletter, which is linked in the comment. I recommend getting on that to read the full piece for the intended effect.

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Terminal M, Vancouver Airport. Again.

This is where I always write before heading to Peru. It's become a ritual - a rite of passage that happens every few years from this exact departure gate.

But this time feels different.

A year and a half ago, I was still seeking home. Still believing I was fundamentally alone. Still thinking I had to choose between the spiritual world and the modern one.

Since then: I took six men to Peru for deep ceremony work. Met the most incredible wild woman. Got back into martial arts. Ceremonially closed my marriage with grace. Found the Red Road. Joined Search and Rescue and the Freemasons.

But here's what really changed:
The home I've been seeking might already be here. My people might already be with me. That wounded part of me that believed I was always alone is having to reconcile with belonging.

True integration isn't rejecting modernity for spirituality - it's learning to live fully in both worlds. They feed each other.

And the biggest initiation? Intimate relationship. Everything you think you've learned about yourself gets challenged when you're truly vulnerable with another person.

This time, I'm not leaving home to find home. I'm taking home with me to share with another sacred place.

07/04/2024

You don't find your purpose. You embody it. - https://mailchi.mp/891f0d945ed3/purpose_essence

04/08/2024

Ouroboros, or the Cycle of Birth and Death -

Witnessing the Chatters

03/17/2024

The Art of Getting Back Up -

Witnessing the Chatters

01/10/2024

How Was Your Life? -

Witnessing the Chatters

12/20/2023

Will We Make It? -

Witnessing the Chatters

12/13/2023

The Only Thing You Need -

Witnessing the Chatters

12/11/2023

The One Key Ingredient for Any Initiation -

Witnessing the Chatters

02/20/2023

Growing up, one of the things my dad would mention was his desire for us to treat him like how he treated his dad. After asking what that looked like, he would say how he would hide from him, cowering in fear at his presence, afraid of making one wrong move.

Is it any wonder that we have had a tough time relating? For the longest time, I imagined that’s how the masculine is, scary, loud, volcanic, read to explode at the tiny minuscule of unplanned change.

It’s only through men’s work and connecting with other dudes that I’ve come to see my dad being a victim of the misconception of masculinity, something that seems so prevalent now.

This idea that qualities of masculinity are toxic is an idea that’s out of time and out of place. What is toxic is for masculine qualities like awareness, presence, groundedness, direction not to have support and guidance. Without it, ideas that masculinity is toxic creeps into the nicest men, which end up imprisoning these qualities. This subconsciously breeds resentment, and through misguided attempts, either explodes sideways through toxic behaviours, or imposes inwards through anguished suffering, neither of which ultimately fulfill what he’s here to do, which is to be of service and live with purpose.

Both of these examples are prevalent in my father and grandfather, and countless others.

It’s important, for the sake of our society, that we stop being afraid of the masculine energy and work on cultivating it.

That’s where true vitality lies.

01/10/2023

If you’ve had your heart broken, there will be a tendency for you to withdraw.

There will be a tendency to go inward, to hide from the world.

You will want to figure out what went wrong.

You’ll wonder what you could’ve done better, and how could they f**k you over so hard.

You’ll want to heal yourself first, before you go back out there to engage with someone else again.

As you work on your healing, you may, for the first time, begin to appreciate the time that you give to yourself.

The quiet solace.

The time in nature.

Connections with like minded brothers (or sisters).

If you keep showing up, you’ll be in a better place, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

And if you’ve done the work long enough, you’ll find yourself wondering why you should even want to get into a relationship again. Life may feel so full for you, and having someone else in it may feel like too much, or it may feel like reversing the course that you’ve finally set for yourself.

The truth is that you can’t heal the wounds around your relationship, if you’re not in a relationship.

It’s only when you put yourself back out into the field that you can truly measure the impact of the work you’ve been doing on your own.

Without a relationship, you can’t get triggered as much as you’d by someone who seems to know the deepest wounds of you, and you won’t be blessed by someone who touches the deepest core of love in you.

It’s a balance in polarity, and you can’t fully experience all of it unless you put yourself out there again.

Is there a chance that you’ll repeat your mistakes?

F**k yes there is.

But in it is the practice itself.

Loving someone is akin to a practice of martial arts or yoga. You can’t ever fully perfect it, you can only hope to fine tune it gradually, and hope to progress every time enough that at one point, you feel that you’re in a better place than where you were before.

And through that yoga, you can do your deepest practice of shadow work.