01/07/2026
When I was younger, I always set goals for the New Year. I often achieved them. I would pump up my friends, saying, 'You can do anything you want.' Once I reached one goal, I would move on to the next. It never stopped.
I am also someone who carries complex trauma. My goals often came from trying to silence the voice that said, 'You’re not good enough.' My drive to change came from feeling not okay inside.
This year, I decided not to chase external achievements. There is nothing I need to change about myself.
I am attaching my sense of worthiness to how I feel inside. Feeling good internally is what makes me feel successful.
I have been doing deep trauma work for the past couple of years. I have carried grief and loss for the last year and a half. It’s been heavy. Lately, the grief has shifted to anger. I wake up with a tight jaw, a racing heart, and a desire to speak out, but I know better. The anger needs to move through my body, not be acted upon.
Grief says: 'What happened was painful.' It witnesses the loss.
Anger says: ' I deserved better.' It is my fight energy, my boundaries , exactly what Kimberley Johnson says is so important for women.
I am also letting go of my identity as an over-functioner. I have always over-functioned emotionally in my relationships. Giving, sacrificing, and people-pleasing has been my way to create safety for myself. I am letting it go, even though a new identity hasn’t formed yet. Transitions are hard, and I have always leaned on over-functioning to get through.
This year, I will embody my inner states, letting whatever comes from inside guide what I create externally. Of course, external things will happen too, but I am not measuring my success by them.
Winter is a time to hibernate, not set goals. What I do know is that whatever I create next will be body-based.
Have a blessed 2026 everyone!
