Marli Rusen

Marli Rusen A leading legal expert in workplace conflict management. of The MIRROR Method and a charismatic, engaging, educational & entertaining

Marli Rusen brings years of extensive experience as a labour, employment and human rights lawyer to her current work as a third-party educator and problem-solver. Marli has effectively transformed her legal knowledge and understanding of workplace dynamics into proactive, practical and timely "tools" to assist parties with the informal and formal resolution of their complex workplace challenges an

d issues. Marli brings to third party arbitration a history of academic excellence and extensive practical legal experience. Marli was awarded the Gold Medals in Law (University of Victoria) and Psychology (University of Winnipeg) for obtaining the highest aggregate grade point average in each area of study. In addition, Marli was recognized for her specific academic excellence in the Law of Evidence and Employment Law. Following Law School, Marli Rusen clerked with the BC Supreme Court in Victoria, BC. Through this experience, Marli observed and was coached on the importance of transparent, fair and defensible legal proceedings, sound legal analysis and lucid decision making. Marli then spent over 18 years acting as a legal advocate for various parties (plaintiffs, defendants, employees and employers) who chose - or were compelled - to resolve their disputes through formal litigation and arbitration. Marli commits to applying her education and experience in a way that ensures that parties receive a fair and objective hearing, witnesses are treated respectfully and union and management receive a legally sound and practical decision in a timely manner. As a trouble-shooter, Marli will hear evidence from the parties, in an informal hearing, and issue non-binding or binding recommendations on how to resolve the issue. As an arbitrator, Marli will hear evidence and argument in a formal hearing and will then issue a binding award based upon the factual evidence and legal principles at play. Marli provides the following effective and practical tools to defuse and resolve disputes: educational, hands-on training and workshops for supervisors, employees and shop stewards; conflict management systems design and policy development; workplace interventions, such as environmental scans, conflict audits and investigations, to accurately diagnose and understand the issues; and formal assistance with conflict resolution, as a third-party mediator, trouble-shooter and arbitrator. Marli also is known to be a passionate, engaging and humorous key-note speaker on workplace/interpersonal dynamics and is commonly invited to speak at in-house events and industry-based conferences.

Building an effective team should be everyone’s priority within an organization.In this engaging half-day workshop, part...
05/28/2026

Building an effective team should be everyone’s priority within an organization.
In this engaging half-day workshop, participants learn practical ways to address dysfunctional interpersonal and team dynamics by respectfully speaking about and addressing conflict as soon as it arises.

Strong teams are not built by avoiding difficult conversations. They are built through trust, communication, accountability, and respectful action.

This workshop is designed to help teams strengthen workplace relationships before small issues grow into larger dysfunction.

05/23/2026

Successful leaders are defined through their clear, consistent and credible practices. The trust we create (or lose) is rooted in the actions we take, not in our passionate beliefs or self-perceptions. Listen to our latest Q/A video now, where Marli outlines the behavioral competencies at the heart of respectful leadership.

Leaders are Human Too – Creating a Safe and Inclusive Workplace for AllWe hear a lot about stressed-out teams. But what ...
05/21/2026

Leaders are Human Too – Creating a Safe and Inclusive Workplace for All

We hear a lot about stressed-out teams. But what about the supervisors and managers who are working hard to hold their teams together – often with little recognition, little rest, and a whole lot of pressure?

It seems that “calling out” leadership is common (and often disrespectfully so). What’s less common? Calling in support for individual leaders who are doing their best to show up for others while no one seems to show up for them.

Many front-line leaders with whom I work aren’t purposely ignoring workplace dysfunction – they’re overwhelmed, under-resourced, undertrained, and often fearful of making the wrong move. They are the first to be blamed and the last to be recognized. They’re expected (often by those with power over them) to simply “figure things out”, resolve conflict, maintain morale, and drive productivity, without being given the necessary time or resources to make this happen.

And when they inevitably falter? They’re attacked, not supported.

We need to ensure that our calls for justice don’t blame individuals for systemic shortcomings.

Don’t get me wrong – accountability is critical but it must be respectful and humane. Blame and shame doesn’t boost confidence, strengthen skills or build better workplaces. It simply makes those “seeking change” a part of the problem they are so eager to resolve.

In my work, I commonly encounter two different types of dysfunction that work together to divide relationships and teams...
05/15/2026

In my work, I commonly encounter two different types of dysfunction that work together to divide relationships and teams. The two individuals involved in this dynamic are respectively perceived as the "needler" and the “burster".

The burster is the individual who loses their temper, says (or emails) the wrong thing (or the right thing at the wrong time) or otherwise engages in direct and tangible behaviors that are viewed as inappropriate and disrespectful. Many times, this person is almost exclusively held to blame for conversations, meetings and relationships that have gone sideways.

However, when dynamics are fully and properly investigated, a separate and more subtle form of dysfunction becomes apparent: this is the “needler". The needler quietly creates stress and anxiety for others: they ignore certain requests for assistance, they fail to respond to questions (from specific people), they selectively refuse to share information, and often fail to do what is being asked of them without saying a word. Their silent dysfunction is noticed – not in any “tangible” behavior – but in the damaging impact caused by their lack of responsiveness, consistency and transparency.

The bursters either experience or observe this happening – and also notice that nothing is being done about it. And then, as you guessed, they "burst". They react by sending the inappropriate email or making the insensitive comment. And then, the needler complains.

Hasty leaders will say "Look at that burster – they are at it again". Responsible ones will say – "Look at that burster ... it’s not okay, but let's consider all the circumstances to better understand what might be happening". When done properly, most reviews of this nature end up holding both individuals accountable for their contribution to the unhealthy dynamics.

In order to reach defensible conclusions, it is critical for investigators, leaders and HR to have open and curious minds from beginning to end. Workplace inquiries are not about finding out "who dunnit" – they must learn all about the "dysfunctional pie" and figure out who owns what piece of it.





A dysfunctional dynamic in my workplaces is the person who is constantly complaining and always negative – about the pas...
05/13/2026

A dysfunctional dynamic in my workplaces is the person who is constantly complaining and always negative – about the past, present and future and about issues within and outside the workplace. While the issues they raise (about the world, about the workplace or a combination of both) might reflect their genuine beliefs or contain elements of truth, their ongoing pessimism and drive to point out “all that is wrong with everything” has a significant effect on morale and often impacts others’ mental health and well being. These types of conversations do not solve problems – they simply add to those we already have.

In contrast, constructive feedback may contain some negative elements but its intention and spirit is genuinely “problem-solving” in nature. The feedback and concerns are usually specific, both in relation to the issue at hand and in how that concern might be rectified.

Constructive feedback, often shared in the context of quality improvement, safety incidents, change management and performance development, plays a potentially significant and helpful role. However, when it is improperly dismissed as “negative” or “oppositional”, those involved (regardless of their role) have misunderstood (mistakenly or otherwise) the important distinction between “negative” and “constructive”. In doing so, they have missed an incredible opportunity to learn and grow through valuable (albeit critical) input and feedback.





A troubling trend that seems to have worsened over the past few years is a sense of entitlement to personally attack tho...
05/11/2026

A troubling trend that seems to have worsened over the past few years is a sense of entitlement to personally attack those with whom we disagree. I have seen the behavior in employees and workplace leaders – I have seen the attacks show up amongst colleagues and between teams. The expression that comes to mind is: “The best defence is a strong offence.” However, “strong offence” is in fact a disrespectful one which includes:

🔴 Attacking someone’s character and damaging their reputation
🔴 Threatening to file, and filing, vexatious claims and lawsuits
🔴 Misstating facts and context in an effort to win at any cost
🔴 Engaging in deceitful and malicious gossip

Let’s be clear:

🟢 Everyone has the right to participate in conversations and investigations
🟢 Everyone has the right to respectfully disagree with others’ views. Forced consensus and superficial alignment undermines a genuinely healthy and thriving workplace
🟢 Everyone has the right to reasonably present their perspective and defend their actions and position on matters. This does not make them “defensive” or a “troublemaker”

However:

🟠 No one has the right to personally or professionally attack others simply because there is informal/formal disagreement
🟠 No one has the right to attack others in order to deflect attention away from the core issues in dispute

When aggressors win simply because they have silenced or worn out their dissenters, the organization has lost.





A common fear of having “conflict conversations” is what might happen if things go sideways? What if someone becomes emo...
05/06/2026

A common fear of having “conflict conversations” is what might happen if things go sideways? What if someone becomes emotional – tearful, angry or overwhelmed? What if someone shuts down or goes on the attack? What if it feels like these dynamics are making the situation worse instead of better?

If you are the one getting emotional, push the pause button and retreat to assess whether you feel capable of continuing the discussion.

If you are being treated disrespectfully, I encourage you to push the pause button and:

1️⃣ “Mirror in the moment” – stop the actual discussion and specifically describe what you are observing or experiencing, such as yelling, rolling of eyes, smirking or constant interrupting. Respectfully, ask them to stop so that the conversation can continue.

2️⃣ “Don’t become a Mat” – if they react poorly to your request and/or the dysfunctional behavior continues, end the meeting respectfully; and then seek help outside the room on what to do next.

Whatever you do, “Don’t get in the boxing ring”. That is, don’t respond in kind. If you punch back (verbally, emotionally or otherwise), you will be viewed as part of the problem, regardless of what they said or did first. Each of us remains responsible for our own actions.

Conversations are not usually as difficult as we anticipate. However, it’s important to have these tools at the ready in case they take an unfortunate turn.





In my experience, a critical skill to develop in building healthy relationships and resolving day-to-day conflict is the...
05/01/2026

In my experience, a critical skill to develop in building healthy relationships and resolving day-to-day conflict is the ability to self-reflect. However, the success of this practice often depends on the quality of data we are provided in the course of self-reflection. Often, we have blind spots on ways we might trigger someone – perhaps because we have never been told or perhaps because we dismissed what we heard.

To further complicate matters, many individuals are reluctant to give honest feedback in 360 degree reviews or workplace surveys because they fear (often based on past experience) that their identity will be revealed and their relationship with their leader/colleague will suffer. As a result, they provide safe feedback, leaving the person in the dark as to how they are experienced by those around them.

Self-reflection will only work if others feel safe sharing their true experiences with us (during conversations, reviews and otherwise); and we then use that data to consider how we can improve instead of figuring out ways to dismiss what we have heard – and those who have spoken.

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1321 Blanshard Street #301
Victoria, BC
V8W0B6

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+18775908153

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