Sharon From Security

03/02/2026

Party Peeple, this is our new pattern. I was structed not to edit it (hairball hack cough.) If you’re on your last nerve bout all the lyin and Constitution breakin like we are (if you’re watchin open and neutral news sources) we have some gestions on the Ravelry pattern page for you. Humans get easily whelmed so we tried to make it simple. Make sure to keep knittin and takin care of yerselves (hope ya get fed more than i do) cos this is a marathon of gregious bullsh*ttery (EB) of the Defcon 1 Type.

Edited to say that this is written for Bulky AND DK (for all u short haired humanz.)
BYE! SFS, OOTP, DOS

https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/last-nerve-cardigan

03/12/2024

Hey peeple, this is my SISTER and she’s on a plane to Fornia rn. She’s wearin a hat i zined and we’re leasin it this weekend (Bowdoin Street Hat and I’ll splain later) and u need a skein of bulky for the 20” (US 10/6mm) and 1.5-2 skeins for the larger sizes . This is Emma’s Bulky but u can use the fur from Sasquatch for all i care cos i’m an equal tunity ziner. SHAZZ OUT 🎤

16/07/2024

OMGGGGG

03/02/2024

The Boss sent me this from Buenos Aires. Can u LIEVE the EB found in public Tinian spaces?! His name is BRUCE😂

23/12/2023

13/11/2023

Just nuther day in Haven’t Been Fed in a Week, Rhode Island.

12/11/2023

Sharon here, I was on BREAK and the Boss said, "Sharon please tell everyone there is a new shawl pattern up" so here ya go. Sharon OUT. https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/pink-agave-shawl

06/11/2023

Friends of The Boss took this picture and they r all laughin bout the cactus that they didn’t notice and i don’t get why it’s funny.

06/11/2023

The Boss is in Zona doin a retreat 🌵 which means i’m posed to rest ALL THE TIME. Stead, I have to vise my dad cleanin out his bookshelves cos he was gonna keep THE FLOPPY DISCS 🙄

30/09/2023

Just a minder that Patreon Knit Night link is up. 8pm tonight. Don't come naked.

16/09/2023

I, Sharon From Security, a Knittin Fessional, give ___________ mission to buy more yarn. This is bindin.

07/07/2023

THE EB IS KILLIN ME HERE. Least i’m a fessional cos idk what I’d do without a Code of Havior to guide me.