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Get Real Communication | Janeen Sonsie

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Get Real Communication | Janeen Sonsie

Leadership & communication trainer, facilitator and coach. Ineffective communication is at the core of just about all business problems.

I work with leaders and teams to address what’s really going on, improve how they communicate and relate, and embed lasting behavioural change that drives performance, especially with superyachts. This lack of communication, both internally and externally and comes from not being real and authentic and telling the truth, with respect and empathy. We work with leaders and their teams to show them t

he power of being authentic and speaking from the heart to create connection and inspire motivation. We create a program of workshops and both group and individual coaching to support the leaders and their teams through the necessary change. The result is an open and honest culture and attitude which fosters high productivity and achievement. How do you communicate internally and externally? How REAL and authentic do you feel?

03/09/2026

HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY STOP BULLYING ONBOARD?

On Tuesday I talked about how bullying can affect far more than the person on the receiving end. But telling Captains to have a zero-tolerance policy and crew to report bullying doesn't necessarily stop the behaviour.

It’s important to understand what is driving it.

Bullying can grow from conflict, stress, insecurity, frustration, poor communication or learned behaviour. None of that excuses it, but understanding the cause gives you a much better chance of changing it.

If you're the Captain or HOD, explore what's behind the behaviour first.

Rather than starting with “You're bullying X”

* Observe what is going on

* Ask what's going on between them and the other person

* Explore what is frustrating them and why they are reacting this way

* Ask what effect they think their behaviour is having on the person and the crew

* Ask what they could do differently

* Get commitment to the behaviour change

* Monitor what happens after

* Follow up, reinforcing improvement or setting firmer boundaries

If the behaviour doesn't change despite awareness, support and clear boundaries, consequences may be necessary.

But what if your boss is the bully?

Calling them a bully can make them defensive and escalate the situation. Instead, address the specific behaviour, its impact and what you want to change:

“When you criticise me in front of the crew, I find it difficult to understand what you want me to change. Could you give me that feedback privately and tell me specifically what you need me to do differently?”

And don't get trapped endlessly defending yourself. A calm boundary can be more effective:

“I'm happy to discuss my performance. I'm not prepared to be spoken to like that.”

If that doesn't work or doesn't feel safe, document the behaviour and pattern objectively and take it to someone with the authority to intervene.

Bullying is a particularly destructive form of conflict because repetition and power can make it difficult for one person to change the interaction alone.

The aim is to understand what's happening, interrupt the behaviour and create a better way of communicating.

That's how you change the People Dynamics.

What have you found works when dealing with a bully?

01/09/2026

ONE PERSON IS BEING BULLIED. SO WHY DOES THE WHOLE CREW SUFFER?

Last week I experienced bullying within the yachting community myself. There was no shouting or swearing. But I was belittled, intimidated and threatened with professional consequences by someone with considerably more industry experience and connections than me.

I'm a pretty tough woman, but I was surprised by how quickly it affected me physically. My heart was racing and I found I was defending and explaining myself long after the conversation had stopped being reasonable.

Now, I could block the person and walk away, but onboard you can't do that. You work, live, eat and socialise in close confines, with very little opportunity to escape the situation.

At first you may not even realise you're being bullied - until you are feeling the negative effects. Bullying can look like:

* Repeated put-downs or ridicule disguised as banter
* Belittling or humiliating someone in front of others
* Constantly undermining their competence
* Excluding or deliberately isolating someone
* Spreading gossip and rumours about them
* Using rank, influence or reputation to intimidate them
* Making someone afraid of the consequences of speaking up

And the person being bullied isn't the only one affected. Everyone watching is also learning about the culture onboard: what behaviour is tolerated, what happens when someone challenges it and whether anyone will do anything about it.

If nothing is done to stop it, people may become more guarded, try to avoid the bully, take sides or even join in to avoid becoming the next target.

As people change how they behave around the bully, the atmosphere onboard changes too. Tension and negative energy spread, affecting trust, communication and how people work together. This is

People Dynamics in action. What started between two people can eventually affect morale, cooperation and performance across the whole crew.

Impact Crew's international crew survey found that 40% of crew cited unfair treatment and bullying as a reason for leaving so this is not a rare problem in yachting.

So if you're a Captain or HOD and you think bullying is a problem between two crew members only, look wider and deeper.

How has bullying affected you?

On Thursday I'll look at what you can do about bullying, including the much harder problem of what to do when the bully is the Captain or HOD.

27/08/2026

STOP REPLACING GOOD CREW. START ADDRESSING WHY THEY LEAVE.

On Tuesday I shared the research on why crew leave. More than 50% cited crew morale and personality clashes, 40% unfair treatment and bullying and 64% of junior crew said the leadership onboard would have needed to change for them to stay longer.

Those figures give us some pretty strong clues about what needs to change.
1. Find the common denominator.
If you have high turnover, look for the pattern. The same department? HOD? Behaviour? Complaints? High turnover is telling you something, and it's not that “young crew today are hopeless”. Find the source so you can manage it accordingly.

2. Stop tolerating disrespectful behaviour.
Bullying, belittling, aggression, favouritism and disrespectful communication affect the morale of the whole crew. Rank, experience and technical brilliance don't excuse bad behaviour. Call it out when it starts.

3. Expect people to speak up.
Make open, honest and respectful communication part of the culture onboard. When someone raises a problem, listen and address it. If people learn that speaking up gets them dismissed or put down, they will stop speaking and start looking at their options.

4. Understand what is happening between your people.
Talk to your crew and your HODs. Where is the friction? Who isn't getting along? What are people frustrated about? How are departments working together? Know the state of your People Dynamics and how to make it more positive before good people start leaving.

5. Look at your people skills as well as your HODs'.
That 64% leadership finding above deserves some self-reflection. How does your leadership style affect your crew? How do you communicate under pressure? How do you react when someone is unhappy or challenges you? What could you improve? This applies to your HODs too.

All of these factors feed into the state of the People Dynamics onboard. When the state becomes negative, people want to leave. When it is positive, they want to stay. Keeping good crew means paying attention to the state of your People Dynamics and taking action when you see it moving in the wrong direction.

If you keep replacing crew without addressing what is making them leave, you are most likely recruiting the next person into the same problem, with the same result.

Want to know more about changing your People Dynamics? DM me or comment RETENTION below.

25/08/2026

Why do crew leave yachts?

We hear a lot about crew turnover in yachting and I also hear plenty about younger crew being too sensitive, complaining too much, lacking resilience or needing to toughen up.

Before we blame the crew who leave, perhaps we should look at what they are telling us.

Impact Crew's international crew survey found that more than 50% cited crew morale and personality clashes as reasons for leaving, while 40% cited unfair treatment and bullying.

Interestingly, money and promotion were much further down the list. Only 9% said money was the main reason they left and 8% cited promotion.

And here's the figure I think every Captain and HOD should pay attention to.

64% of junior crew said the leadership onboard would have needed to change for them to stay longer.

These figures tell us something important. Crew aren't predominantly leaving because somebody waved a bigger pay cheque at them. Too often they are leaving because the People Dynamics onboard are negative.

Leaders set the culture for how people communicate and behave.

When a crew member raises a problem, how do you respond? Do you listen and help them resolve it, or dismiss them as too sensitive, a crybaby or someone who simply needs to toughen up? Problems between people rarely disappear when nobody deals with them. Frustration builds, behaviour changes, communication deteriorates and friction spreads.

Eventually someone leaves.

And yes, I can hear the cynics saying, “There are plenty of people wanting to get into yachting. Just replace them.”

You can. At an estimated cost of between €15,000 and €60,000 depending on seniority, and that's before you add all the senior crew time spent recruiting and interviewing and the cost of training and onboarding their replacement.

So before deciding the problem is a lack of resilience in the people who leave, take a good look at the leadership and the state of your People Dynamics onboard.

What is the real source of the turnover problem?

If you'd like to talk about the People Dynamics onboard your yacht and what could be improved, DM me or comment Positive below. I'm always happy to have a conversation.

20/08/2026

How do you get your crew, and yourself, through the last few weeks of peak season?

The finish line is nearly in sight. But after months of long hours, demanding guests and too little recovery, plenty of people are running on empty.
So what can you realistically do?

If you're the Captain or HOD

Protect rest and recovery wherever you can. Look at workloads, schedules and priorities. Give people genuine downtime and protect it.

For Captains, this may also mean pushing back upwards. IMO fatigue guidance makes managing fatigue and adequate rest a safety responsibility, with minimum hours of rest established under STCW. If operational demands are preventing adequate recovery, tell management what you're seeing, explain the risks and be clear about what your crew needs.

And look after yourself too. You're carrying the operational pressure, responsibility for the crew and demands from guests, owners and management. You're also the person most turn to, and often with nobody you can talk openly with to de-stress. That combination makes you particularly vulnerable to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

Talk to your people

Ask:
* How are you coping?
* What's draining you the most?
* What would help you get through these next few weeks?
* What can I realistically do to help?

Then listen and act on what you can.
If you're a crew member

Everyone is tired, which makes you want to just focus on getting through your own day. Look around you too. Who's withdrawing? Who's struggling more than usual? Who looks completely spent?

Ask them how they're doing and stay long enough to hear the answer. Listen, offer practical help, especially to the greenies, and encourage them to speak to their HOD or Captain when they need more support.

That's positive People Dynamics in action. People notice, care and support each other.

If it's you

Speak up. Tell your HOD or Captain what's happening and what you need.

Protect every opportunity you have to sleep, eat healthily, get fresh air when you can, find some privacy and connect with people away from the boat. Ask for help when you need it and use whatever downtime you have for recovery.

There may only be a few weeks of peak season left, but those weeks can feel extremely long and hard when you're already exhausted.

Look after your people. Look after each other. Look after yourself. Communicate when you're struggling and pay attention when someone else is.

Getting through the season shouldn't mean breaking people in the process.

If you're a Captain or HOD trying to support an exhausted crew while managing the pressure yourself, send me a DM. I can help you work through what's happening and what you can realistically do about it.

What is helping you and your crew get through these final weeks?

18/08/2026

Are we accepting burnout as part of yachting?

In an ISWAN survey, 82% of superyacht crew said they experienced low crew morale sometimes, often or always.

More recently, mental-health concerns accounted for 15.3% of issues raised with YachtCrewHelp in 2023, compared with just 4% through ISWAN's general helpline for seafarers.

Those figures should make every Captain and HOD pay attention.

So what is emotional exhaustion?

It's what happens when you're exposed to stress and pressure for too long without enough recovery. Your body's stress response stays activated and stress hormones such as cortisol continue to be released. Eventually your physical, mental and emotional resources become depleted. Prolonged stress can have serious consequences for your mental health and wellbeing.

Emotional exhaustion is one of the main elements of burnout. Burnout goes further, bringing detachment or cynicism towards your work and reducing your ability to perform effectively.

What does it look like onboard?

You're exhausted and rest isn't fixing it. Your patience is gone, everything feels like hard work and you can't think as clearly as usual. You start keeping to yourself, stop caring as much and make mistakes you wouldn't normally make.

You may simply reach the point where you feel you have nothing left to give.

Why are yacht crew particularly vulnerable, including the Captain?

Long working hours, lack of sleep, little downtime or privacy, months away from family and friends, demanding guests, confined living conditions and difficult crew relationships create the perfect conditions for emotional exhaustion.

The trouble is so much of this has become normalised in yachting.

Exhausted? Of course, it's peak season.

Snapping at people? Everyone's under pressure, that's the job.

Running on empty? We all are. That's yachting.

Keep accepting that as normal and eventually something gives. And it will be you.

Communication breaks down, relationships become strained, mistakes increase and the People Dynamics of the whole crew deteriorate.

Captains and HODs have a responsibility to protect their crew's rest and recovery wherever possible. Captains also need to push upwards when operational demands are affecting their crew's mental wellbeing, while recognising when they themselves are heading towards burnout. The high cost of replacing crew is a good argument, but that's for next week's post.

On Thursday I'll look at what you can realistically do to manage emotional exhaustion when the demands of the job aren't going away.

If you're concerned about burnout in your crew, or recognise some of these signs in yourself and want to talk it through, send me a DM. Sometimes having someone outside the yacht to talk to can be a good place to start.

Have we normalised burnout in yachting?

And if we have, what are we going to do about it?

13/08/2026

How do you reduce friction before it becomes conflict?

Conflict doesn’t always start with one big event. It usually develops from small ongoing moments of friction that nobody addresses. A comment taken the wrong way. An assumption. Someone feeling unheard. A frustration that's never spoken about. Left alone, those moments build until somebody finally explodes.

That's why one of the most important jobs of Captains and HODs is reducing the friction before conflict develops. Here are some actions to take to help you smooth that friction.

1. Listen before you solve.

When someone comes to you frustrated, resist jumping straight into solutions.

Ask:

• What happened from your perspective?

• How did that make you feel?

• What do you need now?

People calm down and think more clearly when they feel heard and understood, making solutions much easier to find.

2. Stay curious.

Many conflicts are not necessarily about what people are arguing over. Look behind the argument to the behaviour in play.

Ask yourself:

• What pressure are they under?

• What assumptions are they making?

• What need isn't being met?

Curiosity opens conversations. Judgement closes them.

3. Deal with it early.

If you notice abrupt conversations, sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments and behaviour or people avoiding each other, ask them:

"I've noticed a bit of tension. What's happening for you?"

That one question can prevent weeks of conflict.

4. Help people understand each other.

Ask each person separately to explain their perspective, without interruption.

Then ask:

"What do you think the other person was experiencing?"

It shifts people from defending themselves to understanding each other. Sharing their perception with each in a facilitated discussion helps them do that.

5. Find a way forward.

Ask them:

"What do we need to do differently from here?"

This moves the focus from the argument to what happens next and what they can do to improve the situation.

The People Dynamics of all the interactions in the team become positive when your team knows how to communicate effectively, resolve friction and build trust before tension and conflict become part of the onboard culture.

What's the best way you've seen tension handled on a yacht?

If you'd like to find out more, send me a DM. I'm happy to chat.

11/08/2026

Tension onboard? That's just yachting, isn't it?

Peak season is often overwhelm on overdrive. Demanding guests, long working hours, not enough rest, everyone living and working together in a confined space. Of course the pressure is high and the tension is rising. That's just the industry, isn't it? Suck it up princess or get out... as I've seen many people say.

But I've seen crews working under enormous pressure who still laugh together, support each other and genuinely enjoy working together. I've also stepped onboard yachts where the atmosphere feels like you could cut it with a knife. Everyone feels it, including the guests.

The difference isn't the pressure.

It's what the pressure does to communication when it isn't managed well.

As the pressure builds, the brain goes into overdrive and stops functioning as it normally would. People become more impatient, more intolerant and more judgemental. Understanding and empathy disappear because everyone is caught up in their own stress with no healthy outlet to release it.

That's when communication starts to break down.

Comments are taken the wrong way. Assumptions replace conversations. People stop listening because they're already reacting. Conversations become shorter and sharper. Passive aggressive behaviour increases. Departments stop helping each other because trust is disappearing. Little frustrations become big arguments. That's when tension turns into conflict.

The real problem is the friction building beneath the surface between personalities, communication styles, expectations, values, leadership behaviours, fatigue and stress. Left unresolved, that friction creates the negative People Dynamics that everyone onboard can feel, including the guests.

It is possible to improve the People Dynamics onboard.

Identify the source of the friction. Open up communication, without any judgment. Give people the opportunity to express themselves respectfully to clear the air, release the tension and rebuild trust.

That's how positive People Dynamics are created.

On Thursday I'll share some practical ways Captains and Heads of Department can reduce tension, strengthen communication and stop conflict before it starts.

If poor communication or ongoing tension is affecting your crew, and you'd like to create more positive People Dynamics onboard, send me a DM. I'd love to chat with you.

06/08/2026

A silent crew isn't always a healthy crew.

Here's how to get your crew speaking up again.

One mistake that's easy for a Captain to make is assuming that a silent crew is a happy crew.

No mistakes being reported. Nobody asking questions. No arguments. Everything appears to be running smoothly.

That can be true. It can also mean your crew have learnt that asking questions, admitting mistakes and speaking honestly simply isn't worth the risk.

By the time communication becomes closed, these behaviours have usually been developing for a while. The trick is recognising them early and addressing the causes before they become the culture.

This week's People Dynamics in Action Diagnostic looks at four behaviours to watch for, what they may be telling you and how to respond as a leader.

Which of these behaviours have you noticed onboard?

If you'd like to build a crew that communicates openly, trusts each other and performs at its best, send me a DM. I'd love to chat.

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