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Get Real Communication | Janeen Sonsie

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France
Vence, Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur
Get Real Communication | Janeen Sonsie

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Leadership & communication trainer, facilitator and coach. Ineffective communication is at the core of just about all business problems.

I work with leaders and teams to address what’s really going on, improve how they communicate and relate, and embed lasting behavioural change that drives performance, especially with superyachts. This lack of communication, both internally and externally and comes from not being real and authentic and telling the truth, with respect and empathy. We work with leaders and their teams to show them the power of being authentic and speaking from the heart to create connection and inspire motivation. We create a program of workshops and both group and individual coaching to support the leaders and their teams through the necessary change. The result is an open and honest culture and attitude which fosters high productivity and achievement. How do you communicate internally and externally? How REAL and authentic do you feel?

20/10/2026

IF ONLY PEOPLE CAME WITH WARNING LABELS! 😂

Imagine how much easier life would be if everyone arrived at work with a system warning label attached.

Something like:

⚠️ DO NOT APPROACH BEFORE FIRST COFFEE. May bite.
⚠️ REQUIRES REGULAR PRAISE. Attention levels drop dramatically without it.
⚠️ HANDLE CRITICISM WITH EXTREME CARE. May cause system malfunction.
⚠️ PERFECTIONIST MODEL. Can’t move forward until every detail is absolutely perfect.
⚠️ SELECTIVE HEARING INSTALLED. Only processes information it wants to hear.
⚠️ ALWAYS SAYS “I'M FINE.” May actually be Frazzled, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.
⚠️ CHRONIC COMPLAINER. Will find a problem for every solution.
⚠️ EXPERT ON EVERYTHING. Real knowledge not guaranteed.
⚠️ CONFLICT AVOIDANCE MODE. Disappears when difficult conversations are required.
⚠️ HIGHLY REACTIVE UNDER PRESSURE. Stand clear of flying opinions.
And then there's always that one person whose warning label simply says:
⚠️ GOOD LUCK. NO WARRANTY PROVIDED. 🤣

We all have our quirks, and some of them make working together rather interesting, particularly when you're sharing a yacht 24/7!

So, what warning label would YOU come with? Be brave. 😂

15/10/2026

THEY SAY THEY'RE FINE. YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT. NOW WHAT?

On Tuesday, we talked about how “I'm fine” is often a convenient way of avoiding a conversation about how we're really feeling.

Recognising that someone isn't fine is one thing. Knowing how to approach them and help them open up is another.

It's easy to ask “Are you OK?” and accept the inevitable “I'm fine”, even when their behaviour is telling you something different. Sometimes we don't know what to say next, or we're concerned about intruding.

And in the close quarters of a superyacht, where people are living and working together under pressure, these unspoken feelings often show up eventually in how people communicate, react and behave towards each other.

This is where good coaching and communication skills make a real difference to how we connect with and relate to others, particularly in leadership roles.

Being genuinely curious, noticing what's happening around someone, listening carefully and asking thoughtful questions can help uncover what's really going on and open the door to finding a resolution.

I've put together five practical steps in the carousel to help you have these conversations with greater confidence.

And remember, someone may not be ready to talk. Respect that and keep the door open.

What's one question you've found helps someone open up when they're clearly not fine?

13/10/2026

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS “I'M FINE”, WHAT DO THEY REALLY MEAN?

So often we ask someone how they are and they reply, “I'm fine.” We say, “Me too,” and move on without giving it another thought.

But those two little words can cover up an awful lot!

Years ago, I learnt a definition for FINE that has stuck with me ever since:

F – Frazzled
I – Insecure
N – Neurotic
E – Emotional

Well, actually, I learnt it with a slightly different F word, but thought I'd behave myself here. 😂

Sometimes “I'm fine” is simply a convenient way of ending a conversation before it gets started. It can also be that we don't want to burden someone else with our problems, or we're struggling to make sense of how we're feeling, or we just don't feel like talking about it.

And sometimes it's about vulnerability. Telling someone how we really feel means opening ourselves up, and that requires trust that the other person will listen without judging and won’t use what we say against us.

Now think about that onboard a superyacht, where people are living and working together in close quarters, often under considerable pressure.

If someone is unhappy, frustrated or struggling with something or someone, saying “I'm fine” doesn't make them okay. Their feelings can still show up in how they communicate, react and behave towards others, creating tension and shifting the state of People Dynamics onboard in a negative direction.

So when someone tells you they're fine, do you simply take it at face value, or do you pay attention to what else might be going on?

Look beyond the words. Notice their facial expression, their tone of voice, their posture and body language. Are their shoulders slumped? Do they seem unusually withdrawn or tense? Is their behaviour different from what you're used to seeing?

These are clues that someone may not be feeling fine at all. They don't tell you what's wrong, but they give you a reason to pay more attention rather than just accepting the answer and moving on.

If you're leading a team, it's worth asking yourself whether people feel comfortable telling you when something is bothering them.

When someone said “I'm fine” but you knew they weren’t, what did you do?

08/10/2026

After Tuesday’s confession that I’m also an actor, I thought I’d share another little glimpse behind the scenes.

This was my glamorous look for a short film in which I played a homeowner whose house was broken into. The burglars hit me over the head and knocked me unconscious.

Obviously, the appropriate response after having fake blood applied to my face was to take selfies. As you do.

I’ve played quite a few different characters over the years, although sadly I have remarkably little photographic evidence of most of them.

Which is a shame, because somewhere in my acting history is Bazza, my Aussie ocker version of Le Barbouillé, the jealous husband in Molière’s La Jalousie du Barbouillé. We turned the whole French play into a modern-day Aussie version and gender-swapped the roles because our acting class had seven women and only three men. So I became Bazza.

And yes, it was every bit as ridiculous and hilarious as it sounds.

How do you express your creativity outside work that your professional contacts would never guess?

06/10/2026

THERE’S SOMETHING A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE PROBABLY DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME.

I’m an actor in my spare time. The photo is one of my early
headshots.

Those who have acted with me do know, of course.

I’ve been acting on and off for years, in theatre and short films, and my acting claim to fame was performing in Eve Ensler’s The Va**na Monologues in front of an audience of around 500 people. My monologue was The Va**na Workshop, which is essentially the story of a woman discovering how to have an or**sm during a workshop.

So there I was, standing alone on stage, sharing with 500 people all about that learning experience. As you do. 😂

It was fabulous fun. I do love acting and exploring different characters.

Acting is such a different part of my life from the work most of you know me for, although anyone who knows me well probably isn’t remotely surprised that I was quite happy to stand on stage talking about the most intimate of or**sms.

What do you do outside work that most people on here would never guess?

01/10/2026

WHAT EXACTLY ARE PEOPLE DYNAMICS?

On Tuesday, I introduced my People Dynamics model and the new way I’m looking at how well people in a team work together.

In this video, I explain exactly what I mean by People Dynamics, the role our individual Attributes play and why communication is such an important part of the picture.

If it gets you thinking about what’s happening in your own team, you can explore the model in more detail on my new website. Or DM me if you’d like to discuss the model or your team with me directly.

getrealcommunication.com

29/09/2026

I’M VERY EXCITED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU.

For the past few months, I’ve been developing a new model for understanding how well people in a team work together: People Dynamics.

Traditionally, we spend a lot of time looking at individuals: their personality, experience, skills, behaviour, leadership ability and performance.

A team doesn’t operate simply as a collection of individuals. Team performance is a result of how they all interact and work together. Who they are, how they communicate, influence and react to each other and how they behave in response to what is happening all play a part in how well they perform together.

What happens between the people is what fascinates me. That’s the People Dynamics.

My People Dynamics Spiral model gives us a way of assessing what is happening within a team and evaluating whether those interactions are creating positive energy through alignment, or negative energy through tension and friction.

Once we evaluate where your team is at and identify where you want it to be, we can address what needs to change to move it up the People Dynamics Spiral into the more positive zone.

This is the lens I now use in my work with leaders and teams.

It gives us a different way to look at team performance. Rather than looking only at the individuals, we look at how effectively those individuals are working together and what is affecting that.

And on a superyacht, being aware of the state of your People Dynamics is critically important. When people are living and working together in such close quarters, relatively small problems can quickly become much bigger ones that affect the whole crew and the guests.

So, I’m very excited that my new Get Real Communication website is now LIVE, where I am sharing what People Dynamics are and the Spiral lens for team performance.

If you lead a team, take a look at the People Dynamics model and what it means. I’d love to hear your thoughts about it.

It might give you a very different perspective on what’s really happening in your team.

getrealcommunication.com

24/09/2026

HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY HEARD WHAT YOU MEANT?

Earlier this week I talked about how the message you think you are sending and the message the other person receives can be different because we each interpret communication through the lens of our own Attributes (see the People Dynamics model).

So what can you do to make sure your message is received and understood as you intended?

Here are five practical tips to help you:

1. Think about your message before you speak.
Especially when you're frustrated, rushed or under pressure, take a moment to be clear about what the other person needs to know, what action is needed, what outcome you expect, and the priority and timing of the action.

2. Be specific.
“Sort it out”, “keep an eye on it” and “do it properly” are vague instructions that don't clearly communicate what you want. Use specific language to explain what you mean.

3. Close the loop when you can.
“Do you understand?” will usually get you a “yes”. Instead, ask the person to confirm what they're going to do or talk you through what happens next. This gives you the opportunity to correct any misunderstanding before it becomes a problem.

4. Be ultra clear when time is critical.
In an urgent or safety-critical situation, there is no time for discussion. Keep your instructions clear, concise and precise so the required action is immediately understood.

5. Consider communication styles.
Different people communicate and process information differently. Being aware of the receiver's communication style helps you deliver your message in a way that works for them.

That last point deserves a little more attention. Some people want you to get straight to the point, while others understand information better with context around it. Some want detail, while others lose the message in too much of it. Adapting your communication means delivering the message in a way that gives that particular receiver the best chance of understanding what you mean.

Effective communication is being able to deliver your message in a way that gives the other person the best chance of receiving and understanding what you intended.

I'll talk more about different communication styles in another post, because understanding them can make an enormous difference to how well people communicate and work together onboard.

How do you like people to communicate with you?

Straight to the point, plenty of detail, some context first, or friendly and talkative?

Want your crew to understand their own communication styles and how to communicate effectively with different people? Message me to talk about how I can help.

22/09/2026

WHEN IS COMMUNICATION NOT COMMUNICATED?

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Have you ever played Chinese whispers? How much can the message change between the first person who creates it and the last person who hears it? Everyone along the way believes they're passing on the right message, yet what comes out at the end can be nothing like the message sent at the beginning. This is because every person interprets what they hear through their own perception of what they think it is.

Communication is only effective when the message you intended is the same message the other person actually receives and understands.

I describe communication as the oil in the machine in the People Dynamics analogy, because it either increases or reduces friction and is therefore critical to how effectively people work together in a team.

But when communication is so important in every situation, how can people get it so wrong?

How a message is received depends on how it is perceived both at the sender and the receiver ends. I've identified eight Attributes in the People Dynamics Framework that create the lens through which we perceive ourselves, other people, situations and communication - as described in the infographic.

As the sender, you perceive a situation, interpret what it means and decide what you want to say through the lens of your Attributes. You then deliver that message based on your communication style.

The receiver hears and interprets the message through the lens of their Attributes, which can change their perception of what you've said and what it means.

So what you MEANT, what you SAID, what they HEARD and what they UNDERSTOOD may all be slightly different, yet both of you can believe it was understood in exactly the same way.

When there's time, you can check understanding, ask questions and make sure information has travelled both ways, closing the loop to confirm that what you sent is what they received.

Onboard, there’s not always time for that. In an emergency or safety-critical situation, an instruction needs to be understood and acted on immediately. Then how you communicate becomes critical. For effective communication, you need to be as calm, clear and precise as you can, leaving little room for the message to be misinterpreted by the receiver.

We always assume the other person received what we intended because we hear our message from inside our own head. The challenge is they hear it through theirs.

Have you ever been absolutely certain you communicated something clearly, only to discover the other person understood something completely different?
What happened?

If communication is getting lost in your team, message me to talk about how I can help improve your People Dynamics.

17/09/2026

DON'T LET YOUR REACTION SPILL OUT ALL OVER YOUR CREW.

Your emotional and physical reactions occur immediately, before you've had time to think about them. They are even stronger when you're under pressure, fatigued, stressed or frustrated.

Onboard, you don't have five minutes to go away, calm yourself down and come back when you're feeling better.

You need to deal with the situation right there and then.

So how do you stop your immediate reaction from spilling out all over your crew?

Here are six things you can do in the moment:

1. Take three slow, deep breaths. Before you say anything, take three deep breaths. This interrupts your immediate reaction and gives you a moment to choose what you do next.

2. Ground yourself in your body. Feel your feet on the deck. Notice the tension in your jaw, shoulders, neck or gut and consciously relax your muscles. Also notice what has happened to your voice, pace and tone and consciously choose how you speak.

3. Check the facts and your interpretation. Ask yourself: What do I actually know? What am I assuming? What else could be happening here? Your first interpretation may be right, but check your assumptions before you respond.

4. Decide what outcome you need. Ask yourself: What needs to happen next? Focus on dealing with the problem rather than expressing your frustration.

5. Ask before you judge. What happened? What am I missing? What do you need me to know? Get the information you need before deciding how to respond.

6. Delay the conversation when you can. Deal with what is operationally urgent, then come back to the people issue when you can manage your response properly.

You can't control your initial emotional reaction, especially under pressure. But by increasing your self-awareness, you will be able to recognise that immediate reaction, separate your reaction from your response and consciously choose how you respond.

That's Emotional Intelligence in practice. When you manage your response effectively, you improve the communication and make the state of the People Dynamics onboard more positive.

If you'd like to develop these skills in yourself, your leadership team and your crew, message me to talk about how I can help.

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