19/07/2025
Welcome! So your probably asking yourself what is Mind of Man? Is it just going to be another page on the internet spamming my newsfeed?
Let me give you a back story so it all makes sense. My name is Ruari i'm 30 years old, a father and training to be a counsellor. Ever since i was 16 years old i had been interested in relationships. What is a good relationship? Why does one woman choose one man over the next? Why do people break up? Why do people get back together? Nobody taught me any of this or provided the answers i wanted, so i decided to find them myself.
Finding order amongst the chaos.
See the crazy thing is majority of how you view yourself and relationships is down to your childhood experience and your relationships with your early caregivers (your parents). So if you have been fortunate enough to grow up in a stable house hold in the presence of a healthy relationship where both parents showed you love then you my friend are lucky.....me not so much.
When your a child it's monkey see monkey do. We are sponges absorbing the environment and actions of others. Knowing this i read everything i could to improve/fix the relationship with myself, building self esteem and confidence. For those of you that know me sport was my outlet from an early age, studying sports science at university and having stints of personal training others. I worked on the belief that strong body, strong mind. I learnt this was partly correct but like most of you will find out it just didn't deliver.
I took a job where i was fortunate enough to be in a position that helped parents who had broken up or got divorced to manage the financial exchange to support their children. I spoke with 100's of men/women who where using this service and i had anonymity. Anonymity allowed me to ask the right questions surrounding relationships and breaks ups and get authentic answers. I learnt a lot.........
I have had my fair share of relationships, from a early age i was in a long term relationship lasting approximately 8 years. Like most young men we want this to last forever but sometimes in life the candle blows out and it's nobody's fault, what is left is two individuals who now travel their separate paths. I moved to a city and started incorporating all i knew when i was dating.
I have been rejected, stood up, ghosted and have had so many positive experiences. Chatted to many women who men would empty their bank accounts to be with and confirming my knowledge.
So what is Mind of Man?
Forged through the pain of my own and others experiences with dating/relationships and refined through reflection i bring to you a community that will support men who will or have gone through a break up. Together we will find your identity, build self esteem and confidence. To get back on the horse to date with principles and find their ideal partner.
Excited to see where this goes. Balancing a full time job, my studies and fatherhood i will be in the background building something that will be useful to others and i invite you to join me when the time is right and things resonate with you.
Coach Ruari
