19/06/2026
As I reflect on my week, I reflect on life, and realise half of it was half assed and half finished.
This girl was traumatised, medicated, half hearted, wouldn't commit (she said 'couldn't' - that was not true).
'Never enough' time or money, always moving onto the next thing, striving but not finishing because it wasn't perfect. Trying to fit in. Blindly compounding my own self sabotage.
At 18 I started training in behavioral therapy, Martial Arts and Yoga, and subtly shifted this chaotic girl into womanhood over the years.
Daily practices that gave me structure.
Daylight, hydration, nutrition.
Less distraction, less 'yes' when I mean 'no'.
More progress on things that actually matter in life.
Focus on one thing at a time, discover full presence.
AT 50 this is now a default, it's taken years of dedication and I still work on it - every day. I know now that closing even one thing can create an enormous sense of relief. Close the loop, complete the task. It feels good.
I'd tell this girl to slow down, breathe, free up unconscious energy running in the background. Oh and have fun, it works out ok.
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is not start something new.
It's finish something old.
What would you tell your younger self?
