Elite Academy of Development and Wellbeing

10/06/2026

I was having a conversation with a client a while back who was finding his team stressful.

There were dynamics in his team that were (understandably) difficult.

There was a lot of conflict within his team which was making day to day operations more and more challenging.

As we talked, something interesting emerged.

(But, if I’m honest, it’s the same thing that emerges with every stressed out person I work with.)

He began to see how the stress wasn't really coming from the people around him.

That was a real challenge. Real circumstances.

But the stress was coming from the weight he was carrying in his own mind.

He felt responsible.

- Responsible for everyone's performance.
- Responsible for finding solutions.
- Responsible for fixing every issue.

But as the manager, he IS responsible I hear you say!

And that is somewhat true.

But the AMOUNT of thinking we have AROUND that responsibiltiy will determine the level of stress we feel.

When he let go of believing it was circumstance that caused his stress, he started the see the layers of excess thinking that added no value, and were, in fact, detrimental to his performance leading his team.

And as he saw the truth, their power of those thoughts faded away and he realised that:

- He can support people without rescuing them.
- He can influence without controlling.
- He can care deeply about his team without taking ownership of every challenge they face.

The moment he started separating ‘Thought’ from ‘Reality’ (and what was his responsibility from what wasn't) something changed.

The team didn't magically become easier overnight, because that was going to take time.

But he became calmer, clearer, more effective and much happier.

The most stressful part of leadership isn't the situation itself.

It’s the way our thinking presents that situation to us.

Have you ever found yourself taking responsibility for things that weren't really yours?

(And BTW it’s exactly the same with parenting.)

08/06/2026

Don’t be the busy idiot.

You know what that is right?

The one that is always busy. Always rushing. Always getting things done.

It looks like it's due to our circumstances, but it can become an addiction ... because a part of our thinking loves it!

When we are busy we think it means we are important. It means we have a purpose. It means we are needed.

But what it really means is that you aren’t adding the value you could be adding if you slowed down.

Why?

Because when we slow down mentally, we are more measured.

We are wiser.

We are more able to see fresh thought and inspiration as they arise within us.

Instead of going around the same old, repetitive thought cycles at high speed, we create the space for new ideas and opportunities.

So this makes us far superior people leaders, CEO's, directors and operators.

So ask yourself; Are you rushing around, being the busy idiot?

25/04/2026

*NEW* Couples Retreat

I've been thinking about this for a while and it felt like something much needed.

The pressures of finances, kids and anxieties can really take their toll and cause relationships to drift. That's normal.

The question is whether we exit at the 'apart' stage or we persevere to the next 'together' stage.

This is a private retreat for couples who want to find their way back to each other.

A private transformative coaching retreat for couples who want to rediscover each other and move forward stronger.

24/03/2026

Want to Know the Real Reason You Aren’t Authentic as a Leader?

I wrote a post last month about leaders talking about vulnerability, without demonstrating it.

Someone commented that leaders are teaching what they most need to learn.

Ok, not incorrect.

BUT...

Are they actually learning it?

It’s true that we CAN get a deeper understanding through teaching, but all too often this doesn’t end up happening.

Why?

Because that only works if we teach from what we see, rather than what we know.

If we stick with what we know, there's no wisdom or growth in that.

Let me explain…

If I teach from what I know, I am unconsciously searching my memory bank. I'm searching through old, previous experience. It’s based on where I was. Where the world was. Old information. Old logic.

But if I am willing to park what I THINK I know…

If I'm willing to look with fresh eyes…

I’m not seeing what was.

I am seeing WHAT IS.

And this is complete game changer for leadership, especially with the world changing at the rate it is.

As the world shifts and evolves, we need leaders to be more present to the current challenges, to what is happening RIGHT NOW. Yesterday’s experience is not as relevant as you may think.

If we are present to to THIS moment...

We learn and grow as we teach and lead.

Which is, of course, also a game changer for truly authentic leadership.

20/03/2026

Can't get the staff??

Being in a position of responsibility can feel like a lonely job.

You can see the problems:

- The people challenges

- The performance issues

- The shortfall in capability.

You can probably see things your SLT may not be fully grasping.

But what to do about it?

Don't try to solve it alone - sometimes we just need to bounce ideas off people we can trust.

You'd be amazed at how much clarity you can get from externalising your thoughts.

Take time to talk to someone. Or, I can help with that if you book a free introduction.

If you are the external processing type; speak to someone who will make space to listen.

Dogs are great for listening (but their advice is usually crap!)

13/03/2026

Recently I’ve been reminded of our mortality.

Sometimes life circumstances unfold to give us a bit of a kick.

We could call those circumstances “bad.”

But really they are just reminder of natural order of things.

An old mentor used to say “Don’t take life too seriously, nobody gets out of here alive!”

And I like this on so many levels.

Maybe because I used to be so damned serious? I don’t know.

But I do know I like life a lot better when I relax into the process.

When I allow it to unfold beautifully in its own time.

Like a budding flower, some things shouldn’t be rushed.

Happy Friday. Have a wonderful weekend.

09/03/2026

There’s a moment I quietly wait for in every coaching session.

It’s not dramatic. It doesn’t need fireworks.

But when it happens, I know something big has shifted.

It’s the look. The subtle change I can see when someone sees clearly for the first time.

They understand their pattern.

They spot the story that’s secretly been running the show.

They realise what’s *really* been holding them back.

That look… it gets me every time.

Because in that moment, people start to free themselves.

And that freedom doesn’t just change how they feel. It changes how they lead, how they connect, and how they perform.

You can’t force it. But you can create the right environment for it to unfold.

That’s what my work is all about:

Showing people how to use the right tools to get out of survival mode, and into a state where clarity, confidence and progress is possible.

And the best part? That one shift can ripple outwards to the rest of their life, their team, their family and beyond.

06/03/2026

How do you look after yourself when you feel you are letting others down?

A while back I had some health stuff going on.

That time of life I'm afraid.

I didn’t feel right.

I felt fragile and lacking energy.

I knew I had to give myself permission to rest but …

I also felt I was letting people down.

Colleagues, friends…

But the problem is, when we feel guilty about looking after ourselves, we aren’t actually looking after ourselves at all.

It’s pretending to look after ourselves.

And our body knows the difference!

But when I prioritised me - And meant it - I gave myself space to heal and renew.

And now? I’m back firing on all cylinders and stronger than ever before physically and mentally.

So… is it time you started looking after you?

02/03/2026

We need to talk about the “vulnerability trend” in leadership.

It’s everywhere right now.

Leaders sharing stories on stage.

Posts about “being open.”

Declarations of emotional intelligence.

And while the intention might be good... something about it doesn’t sit right.

Because here’s the truth:

You can’t talk about vulnerability with impact if you haven’t done the inner work.

When leaders speak from the head, not the heart, people know.

They may not be able to explain why or what, but they feel the disconnect.

That’s when telling people “it’s okay to be yourself” leaves people with the opposite message. It leaves people confused, guarded, and doubting their own feelings.

But when leaders show up genuinely, having done the uncomfortable inner work themselves?

That’s when real trust happens.

That’s when teams are able to really relax, open up, and start performing at their best. It stops them pushing for perfectionism, and let’s them excel from a place of self-belief and security.

💡Quick tip:

If you're a leader wanting to create a more open, healthy culture, start by asking:

“Where am I still performing through a version of myself, rather than showing up as I really am?”

That’s where the real work (and reward) begins.

27/02/2026

Being Too-Cool-For-School is the biggest fun sponge!!

A while back, I landed a new client.

It was an international client with a contract of a sizable amount.

I was ecstatic.

I was excited.

I was proud of myself, but then I noticed another layer of feeling...

I became very conscious of the various layers of thinking that we’re making up my experience, and I realise something really important.

A part of me wanted to play it cool.

Didn’t want to appear childish or inexperienced.

But if I allowed that part of my thinking to win, it meant dialling down the excitement about a new opportunity.

Gay Hendricks in his book, the book the big leap (which is an old favourite of mine) calls this upper limiting.

Which is the process of dialling down a good feeling because it feels too much, or not what we used to.

It sounds bizarre, but over the years I’ve seen it in myself and it almost every client I’ve ever worked with. It’s actually a very normal human experience.

But the problem is, it’s the biggest fun sponge!!

Celebrating your wins and feeling excited is one of the most beautiful feelings if you allow it to fully consume you and run through you.

And there’s no way I’m too cool for that!!

So the next time you do something really well, the next time you exceed expectations, notice if you’re unconsciously putting a cap on your excitement , or fully allowing that positive feeling to run through you.

Happy Friday. (and yes, I do know I look silly, and I don't care.)