07/06/2026
As I approach my 50th birthday, I’ve been noticing that joy feels harder to let in.
I want to mark this threshold. And yet something in me resists celebrating.
I’m in a hard season —family illnesses, grief, redundancies, starting two new businesses, my own health. When life piles on like this, joy can start to feel like the wrong response. Or even a threat.
It’s as if the aperture on a camera lens has narrowed. Our nervous system is doing what it’s designed to do, keeping us safe. It’s the body’s beautiful innate intelligence.
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