Studio of Reflection

31/08/2022

25/02/2022

Think of the Children
It’s the first thing I did, when I heard the terrifying news of the invasion of Ukraine, both for the children caught up in the conflict, and those fearful of the consequences of conflict and war.
It comes with some knowledge of living through conflict as a child in Northern Ireland, unable to make sense of what was happening around me and why?
As you can imagine, if It’s hard for us to make sense of it, what must it be like for children of Ukraine and other countries in the world caught up in conflict. It is easy to look across the breakfast table at our children and think of all the challenges, worries, doubts, frustrations, and disappointments they may experience on any given day, but to think of the mortal fear that children in conflict experience is just unthinkable. It’s heart-breaking and unimaginable.
The past two years have been a very difficult and worrying time for children living through the pandemic, hearing the “News”, reciting the mantra “stay home and save lives”. To now living under the threat of war. It is difficult to justify, to our children that we have protected them and the world population from an invisible virus, but that greed, and the desire for power by an individual can cause visible terror, world panic and the destruction of a nation, is just unbelievable. Many parents have been faced with these truths from our young people. It is indeed difficult, to find the words to stop them from worrying about the future.
It is in these unsure times that we MUST focus on the good and humanity in the world, that we remember the kindness, in our world, in our communities, where we reach out to our neighbours, that we reconcile the small things that cause division, that we recognise that there is more that unites us than divides us. That our children are our most precious gifts.
That we can teach them to look for the good in the others, that we all have a wish to be Happy, that there is greater good in the world, that we can pray, wish or hope for peace in the world, that we can unite as a family, a community, a country, and a world in our wish for peace.
To keep in our hearts, the desire for all children to feel safe and secure all over the world.
Now is the time to show more compassion, more care, more kindness, and more love to those around us. When it comes to loving and protecting children, we can move mountains.

Photo Courtesy of War Child

24/12/2021

Christmas is a very magical time for children.

I often wonder who is more exited about Christmas, children or parents.
I have watched parents become so excited about their children's first years of visiting Santa. It's as if they have been transported back to when they were children.
Santa is the only thing that hasn't changed since they were children, they can all of a sudden relate to the feelings of children. The excitement, the wonder, the anticipation, the fear, the surprise and the reward, that Father Christmas has recognised all their efforts, to be the best that they can be.

I remember the long night of Christmas Eve, the nervous excitement, not wanting to be awake but unable to sleep. Then in the morning when you wake up.....fear kicks in..... what if you haven't been good enough..... your heart begins to race as your sister reaches for the door..... the sight of the presents spilling out from under the tree..... relief..... is quickly followed by excitement..... the half eaten cookie and the gnawed carrot confirming that he really was here. The fun and excited yelps as the presents were unwrapped and soon the carpet was a sea of wrapping paper, as we happily played with our new toys.

So remember the the Magic of Christmas this evening when the children can't sleep and are fearful of not getting to sleep, that this evening will be a mixture of feelings and tomorrow will be an amazing boost to their self belief.

Have a wonderful Christmas Eve and a special Christmas wish for our very excited children.

15/11/2021

Could your child be happier? Could YOU be happier?

Parenting is tough – you already know that – but did you know it’s not your fault?

I see parents (just like you) struggling to deal with all of life’s challenges. You’ve got so much going on it’s no wonder you’re exhausted and finding it all tough.

You’ve got the full set of responsibilities:
• Work
• Home life
• Constantly cooking and shopping
• Partners
• Elderly parents
• Other children

AND you have to manage all of this alongside parenting a child with behaviour difficulties. It’s a lot.
And no doubt you’re giving yourself a hard time because you’re not doing better. You’re not parenting better, you’re not focusing on work properly, your house is upside down and you can’t remember the last time you did something fun – and happy – as a family together.
STOP
This isn’t your fault!

Life has thrown so many things at you, it’s amazing your still standing.
So how about we get you from ‘barely standing’ to ‘thriving’?
As a parent, as a person?
Doesn’t that sound great?
I work 1:1 with mums and dads just like you. Over six weeks we work through your child’s behaviour and come up with solutions and techniques to not just cope with it, but turn it around completely.
Contact me by private message to arrange a 15 min consultation.

29/11/2020

I had never thought that this area was scenic, its funny what you can see when you choose to take a different view.

22/02/2020

Peaceful reflection this afternoon

13/11/2019

Today is World Kindness Day

And all I can say is thank you.........Thank you to all the kind people.................. and you know who you are, who have made a difference to someone else's world today. You have shown that human kindness is alive and well and thriving in our community. You have warmed my heart and the hearts of those in need.

As is our human nature we must be capable of both giving and receiving kindness. We must teach our children the importance of giving and receiving kindness, as it is through receiving kindness graciously, that you allow others to feel the joy of giving.

May today's kindness fill you heart and help kindness ripple through every life that you touch.

13/11/2019

Autumn Sun in Donegal

23/10/2019

20/10/2019

I am often asked what's the one piece of advice you would give to all parents?

This may not seem like a big piece of advice but it does have a huge impact on parents, it can effect self belief and cloud all the other amazing things that parents do for their children every day.

So my big piece of advice is to....

STOP feeling guilty!

Parents feel guilty for shouting at their children, for not spending enough time with them, for not giving them everything they want or everything that they didn't have, parents feel guilty for..................the list goes on.....and on.

Stop it!

Stop feeling guilty, do something different .............. use the feeling associated with Guilt as a call to action...... It's your brain telling you that something doesn't feel good and you need to change it.

Even if it's just how you talk to yourself.

And guess what? It will keep showing up bigger and bigger until you change what your doing.

If you didn't recognise that you were feeling guilty, then you wouldn't think about doing things differently.

One of my favourite sayings is...........

"When you know better, you do better"

But you can't change what you don't know

So what would you like to change, what would you like to do different?

Write it down... so you can truly see what you're holding on to....

Now..... write down what you would like to replace this with, whether it's new behaviour, thought or words.

The key he is to be really specific. I mean... really specific.

'Instead of responding in this way, I now do this.'

Remember change happens by repetition.

It's very hard to change something when you are not sure what you are changing it to, this process really helps.

You will feel so much lighter and will have an amazing sense of achievement.

Go on give it a go..... What have you got to lose?