12/12/2025
This is a very personal post.. I wasn't sure whether to post it or not..these pictures are from half a lifetime ago... I was always very happy and loved having fun.. My nickname was smiler.Things took a massive dive when me and some friends ran into a gang.we were totally outnumbered. I seem to remember there were about 20 of them... We didn't stand a chance.. They started on my brother so I pulled them off him.. Had 1 under each arm but then was hit around the face with a hockey stick.. It broke my jaw and left me unconscious. They decided to keep kicking my head while I was out. I was dragged to a car and we were chased until we lost them...i ended up in hospital and had my jaw wired up for 6 weeks. I lost my confidence totally. Withdrew.. My best mate from school arranged a pub night for me to get me out.. I never went and I never saw him again. He was killed that night. I will always feel guilty for that. If I had gone I could have saved him. .I never show people the last picture.. I keep it just for me.. I was caught with my guard down and when I see the picture I see into my soul... I was so unhappy then.. I had hit absolute rock bottom.. I know from my eyes what I was going to do.. I won't go into that... That was when I got help, spoke to a counsellor and was diagnosed with PTSD I went onto antidepressants.. I keep the picture so I will never get that low again.. I have been ill for months.. It has really got me down. I am so unhappy.. I took a selfie the other day and I saw a similar look in my eyes to that last pic.. I have started talking to people again about feeling depressed.. I will get help if I can't get over it myself.. I just thought sharing this may help someone else.. I will delete that photo and never show it again.
