25/05/2024
It’s takes the wind out of me and the ground out from under me every year.
7 years. 7 years since a part of me disappeared with one of my closet and dearest friends
It doesn’t get easier - that’s a lie.
What I said then is as raw and fresh now as it was the day I crawled out the pit in my head and tried to deal with what had happened and how life would be from then
I want to see what he is doing - what amazing things he has dreamt up - I want to watch s**t sci-fi abs foreign horror. I want to bring a smile to his face with the random s**t that always happens to me.
I just want my friend back.
What I said will never change:
“F**k the world.
Life got just that bit s**tter.
I've spent much of my life, on reflection, living on the coat tails of kings and shoulders of giants. My friends are legends in the hobby - worthy people, learned people. Far more likeable and far more accomplished. I always sat in wonderment that the likes John French and Mike Mason tolerated my ways and the like of Aaron Dembski-Bowden didn't upon meeting me and hearing stories just get back up and not entertain me. Or that Eadwine Brown would tolerate my incredibly bad command of our mother tongue or my painfully lucky dice...
They are great people.
Not least of these was Alan Bligh. He was the first. I used to think he just found me amusing - the court jester if you will. He was my friend, my co-conspirator.
I'll not Labour on here - I'm no word smith like John or Aaron. And they've done it better today.
So I'll leave this; my post when I eventualy came out of my own arse after it all.
This says how I feel best and that will never change.
"My very dear friend Alan Bligh passed away on Friday.
No matter how late I wait this won't be easy or feel right.
I met Alan in 2003. Two strangers sat together in the isolation of a busy office, at GW HQ, being the 'new guys' who's start had been delayed by months past the others.
That day was a day of raised eyebrows, path finding 'comedy' commentary on our surroundings and a mutual discovery of dark humour and all things old/retro and Sci-Fi.
By the next day, probably against type for both of us, we were firm friends.
The ways in which this chance meeting changed my life are profound. Really I wouldn't be the me I am otherwise.
The first three months were a gluttonous exercise in all day 50's Sci-Fi films - all nighter Godzilla fests, the very worst in horror (read: the best) numerous rants and discussions on the world and the rabbit hole what ifs and maybes. Of course in amongst this was more dice rolling and cursing of luck than you can shake a stick at.
Alan quickly came to distrust the dice gods when I had dice in my hand and I learned that Alan and his tricks really did illicit the most basic and guttural string of curses anyone had dare level at Alan in any circumstance from me and it was brilliant. He'd feel we'd not had a good game had this not happened
With in a few months of becoming friends, our brother in arms and to this day very dear friend John French , became the natural extension of our confederacy; we had our own little Mournival. One of frightening intellect and knowledge and depthless skill from Alan and John and from me mainly the ability to say the wrong thing at the right time and an ability to just be me which Alan assured me, was, whilst amusing, no bad thing.
Alan facilitated many land marks for me as full blown geek - he supported and helped steer me when I quite out of my depth at the time landed work in Battle Games in Middle Earth and White Dwarf , achieving those child hood dreams I would have panicked and crashed with normally, keeping me grounded and made it simple.
I had the honour of working with Alan and others, very often John, in Badab, Imperial Armour, Rogue Trader and Horus Heresy. Things I never would have dreamed of at the time. For this I can never thank or owe him enough.
For him accepting my ways and treating as proper and normal I can never thank him enough.
For being a friend in the best of times and the worst of times I can never thank him or owe him enough.
For making life that little better and more bearable I can never thank him enough.
For 14 years of the fiercest most unquestioning and loyalist friendship I can never thank him or owe him enough
For a glimpse of what true talent, searing intellect and full human ability can be I can never thank him or owe him enough.
For showing me how accepting and kind anyone one can be I can never thank him or owe him enough.
Alan was a fearsome and titanic example of man. A man of endless talent - kindness - creativity and a wicked humour and a man with a true appreciation of tea.
This is too long - bumbling, inelligent rambling and is as rough as a badgers bum. Indeed Alan would probably cringe at it and be aghast at the colossal lack of literary skill. But then he'd laugh; writing things was not the role I filled.
Better men than have wrote on Alan this passed 24 hours and done it better than I as we'd expect for such a great man.
But this ramble is what Alan would expect from me and accept it as such.. He knows what I mean. He was good that way.
It's been the singular hardest thing I've experienced having this s**ttest of times flash up on social media every minute reinforcing the truth of loss of one of my dearest friends that I don't want to accept. I've raged about it impotently and pointlessly. Now through the numb unaccepting pain, I realise and take comfort in the positive of this; Alan was something for more people than most could ever be. And I take comfort in that and pride that he's been a positive factor for so many
There's so much more but that's enough. The rest is between the Bligh and I.
Damn yer eyes Bligh, damn yer eyes"
