15/11/2025
Well that's not entirely unexpected! 😕 😆
Ryanair to Charge Passengers for Emotional Baggage
Ryanair has announced plans to introduce a new fee for passengers carrying “emotional baggage,” with charges starting at £19.99 per unresolved childhood issue.
The budget airline said the move was part of its “streamlined emotional experience,” designed to ensure passengers only bring “necessary feelings” on board. A spokesperson explained, “Our goal is simple: travel light, both spiritually and financially. If your mother never hugged you enough, that’s fine, but it will cost extra if you want to bring it past the gate.”
Under the new policy, travellers will be permitted one small, well-adjusted personality as hand luggage, provided it fits neatly under the seat in front. Any existential dread, fear of commitment, or resentment toward ex-partners must be checked in. Oversized trauma will incur an additional charge, especially if it spills into other passengers’ personal space.
Several frequent flyers have already expressed concern. “I tried to check in last week,” one man lamented, “but they said my imposter syndrome exceeded the weight limit. I had to leave it at Stansted.”
Ryanair defended the policy, pointing out that emotional baggage fees are just the beginning of a wider “pay-as-you-feel” model. Future charges may include £4.50 for overthinking during turbulence and £2.99 for attempting to process one’s divorce mid-flight.
Chief Executive Michael O’Leary hinted at even bolder ideas to come. “We’re exploring premium add-ons like in-flight therapy, mindfulness seating, and a silent cabin for people sick of their inner monologue,” he said. “Our customers deserve affordable misery.”
Psychologists have praised the announcement as “deeply on brand.”
Air travel analysts, however, warn that passengers may soon have to choose between paying for legroom or emotional growth — and “neither option looks particularly comfortable.”
