22/06/2023
One of them nights đ Nobody understands how hard it is being a SEN parent, until they walk in their shoes and live that life themselves.
You see other children the same age as yours doing things your child âshouldâ be doing but just arenât âyetâ. Youâre told âoh theyâll catch up!â âAll kids are differentâ. You then see younger children âleapfroggingâ your child and the gap widens and widens. You get parents comparing their child with yours, trying to turn it into a âcompetitionâ
You essentially âgrieveâ the life you was expecting to live when you had children. You think of all those fun family activities you canât wait to do, watching your child grow up and meet all these milestones. To be met with a completely different reality. Unable to just go to a park and not worrying about other kids being there, scared to go out for a meal, scared to go to shops etc. Then you feel guilty for feeling this way, although you love your child just the way they are, because at the end of the day itâs not their fault đ
You put yourself down every single day asking yourself âam I doing enough?â âam I doing x,y,z right?â. Parenting doesnât come with a handbook, but parenting SEN kids is a whole other story âšď¸ You have to essentially drop to your knees and beg for help and support. Everything is a battle.
You have to put up with judgemental people, itâs easy to say âoh ignore themâ but you take in and analyse every single thing they say. âTheyâre 3 and theyâre in nappies?â âTheyâre still in a pram?!â âYouâre not replying because youâre shy?â âThey act that way because they know they get away with itâ. You choose to defend and explain yourself when you shouldnât have to. If a child was physically disabled, a lot of people wouldnât bat an eyelid about a child being in a pram, nappies, not speaking, challenging behaviour etc but because a child has a âhidden disabilityâ âlooks normalâ and âdoesnât look autisticâ people think itâs acceptable to make such comments!
You worry every single night. Whatâs the next day got in store? Where will they be in a years time? Will they cope in a mainstream school or will they have to go into a specialist school which has limited places? Will they ever have friends? Will they grow up to have independent lives or will they fully depend on me forever? Reality doesnât scare me, the not knowing is what terrifies me the most đ
Youâre left pouring from an empty cup. Youâre drowning in stuff to do. Youâre knackered like when you have a newborn baby because they have sleeping issues and you get no âbreakâ.
If you know someone with an SEN child then please just be kind đ Life is hard enough without the extra stress of other peopleâs sh*tty comments
âI wouldnât change you for the world, but Iâd change the world for you đâ
