29/03/2022
Importance of Marriage;
1. Meaning of vivah (Marriage)
Taking the bride from her father’s home to one’s own home is termed as ‘vivaha’ or ‘udvah’. Vivaha means Panigrahan, meaning the groom holding the hand of the bride to make her his wife. Since the man holds the hand of the woman, after marriage the woman should go and stay with the man.
2. Importance of marriage sanskar – A spiritual perspective
A. Hindu Dharma has prescribed four Purusarthas (Four basic pursuits of life), that is Dharma , Artha (Wealth), K**a (Pleasure) and Moksha (Liberation). The purpose of the marriage sanskar is to fulfill the Purushartha of ‘K**a’ and then gradually advance towards ‘Moksha’.[2]
B. Several important things in the life of a man and woman are associated with marriage; for example, love between man and woman, their relationship, progeny, various happy events in their lives, social status and prosperity.[3]
C. In Hindu Society a married woman is viewed with utmost respect.
3. Age for marriage
In the earlier times, at the age of eight after the upanayan sanskar, a boy would remain in his Guru’s hermitage for at least twelve years. Thereafter, before entering the stage of gruhasthashram (Householder), for four to five years he would make efforts to develop the ability to earn a livelihood. Giving due consideration to all this, the age group of twenty-five to thirty years was considered as ideal for a boy’s marriage. Once the girl crossed her childhood stage, for the next five to six years she was taught how to shoulder worldly responsibilities. Hence, the age group of twenty to twenty-five years was considered ideal for marriage for a girl.[4] From the spiritual perspective in the current period too, the above mentioned age groups are ideal for marriage of boys and girls.
4. Matching of horoscopes while arranging a marriage
Before arranging a marriage, it is required by dharma to match the horoscopes of the prospective bride and the groom. Hence, it is essential that the horoscopes of both are accurate. The individual who makes the horoscope should be proficient in his task too.[5]
Arranging the marriage
The use of jathakam or Janam Kundali (astrological chart at the time of birth) of the son/daughter to match with the help of a priest is common, but not universal. Parents also take advice from the brahman called 'Jothidar' in Tamil or 'panthulu or siddanthi ' in Telugu and Kundali Milaan in northern India, who has details of many people looking to get married. Some communities, like the Brahmans in Mithila, use genealogical records ("Panjikas") maintained by the specialists.
Jathakam or Kundali is drawn based on the placement of the stars and planets at the time of birth. The maximum points for any match can be 36 and the minimum points for matching is 18.[6] Any match with points under 18 is not considered as an auspicious match for a harmonious relationship but still it depends liberally on people they can still marry. If the astrological chart of the two individuals (male and female) achieve the required threshold in points then further talks are considered for prospective marriage. Also the man and woman are given a chance to talk and understand each other. Once there is an agreement then an auspicious time is chosen for the wedding to take place.
In recent years, with the onset of dating culture in India, arranged marriages & horoscope analysis have seen a marginal decrease, with prospective brides and grooms preferring to choose a spouse on their own and not necessarily only the one whom their parents find agreeable; this has been more pronounced in urban and suburban areas than rural regions. Today the culture of marriage among Hindus is such new concept of Love-Arrange Marriage or Arrange-Love Marriage.
Eight types of marriage
Hindu symbolic marriage: eloping couple exchange garlands under a tree. Illustration from Sougandhika Parinaya
:M.V. Dhurandhar’s Scene Of Hindu Marriage Ceremony
According to Hinduism there are eight different types of marriages. Not all have religious sanction.[7]
The eight types are:
1. Brahma marriage - The Brahma marriage is the marriage of one's daughter to a man of good conduct learned in the Vedas, and invited by oneself. A Brahma marriage is where a boy is able to get married once he has completed his student hood, or Brahmacharya. Brahma marriage has the most supreme position of the eight types of Hindu matrimony. When the parents of the boy seek for a female, they would consider her family background, but the girl's father would make sure that the boy that wishes to wed his daughter had the knowledge of Vedas. It is these things that make the basis for Brahma marriage, not a system of dowry. Dowry is considered sin in these kind of marriage.
2. Daiva marriage - The type of marriage that is considered inferior because it is degrading to womanhood. This is where the woman's family will wait for a specific time to get her wed. If she doesn't get a suitable groom, then she would be married off to places where family choose by matchmaking through priest who duly officiates at a religious ceremony, during the course of its performance. This used to be the practice followed by many Royals in ancient times to forge diplomatic ties with allies and enemies alike.
3. Arsha marriage - An Arsha marriage is where the girl is given in marriage to a sage. The bride used to be given in exchange for some cows. Agasthya married Lopamudra accordingly. Kings often could not refuse the sages who had such power and standing in society and hence the numerous stories in Mahabharata that portray this practice.
4. Prajapatya marriage - Prajapatya is when a girl's father gives her in marriage to the bridegroom, treating him with respect, and addresses them: 'May both of you perform together your duties'. Unlike in Brahma marriage, Prajapatya matrimony is where the bride's father goes in search of a groom, although this isn't considered as good as the grooms parents searching for the perfect bride. Also, unlike Arsha marriage, monetary transactions are not a part of the Prajapatya marriage.
5. Gandharva marriage - The voluntary union of a maiden and her lover on own is called Gandharva marriage. When it comes to ‘love’ marriage, it is Gandharva marriage that is the most similar. This is where a groom and his bride could wed without their parents knowledge or sanction. This is how Dushyanta married Shakuntala. Note that this is not same as dating. Here the bride and the groom exchange vows in the presence of some person, creature, tree, plant or deity before any further action.
6. Asura marriage - Asura marriage is when the bridegroom receives a maiden, after having given of his own free will as much wealth as he can afford, to the bride and her kinsmen. It is Asura marriage that sets itself apart from the other types of marriage. This is a matrimony where the groom may not often be compatible with the bride and may even possess some abnormality but either greed or compulsion on the part of the bride's father coupled with the groom's desire and wealth may render it. At all times this type of marriage was considered lowly. In modern times this is unacceptable because it is much like buying a product off the shelf and against common Indian law.
7. Rakshasa marriage - Rakshasa marriage is the marriage of a maiden involving her forcible abduction from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded. The groom will force battles with the bride's family, overcome them and carry the bride away to convince her to marry him. Because of its use of force this marriage is essentially r**e in modern parlance, and it was never considered right - hence the pejorative name rakshasa attached to it. This is condemned in the Manusmriti as a sinful act. In modern times it is a crime. Arjuna's marriage to Subhadra was made to look like this but in reality it was a Gandharva Marriage because both of them were in love and they had the consent of Subhadra's brother Sri Krishna who actually suggested this subterfuge to preempt Balarama from dissent.
8. Paishacha marriage - When a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping, intoxicated, or mentally challenged, it is called Paishacha marriage. This is condemned in the Manusmriti as a sinful act. In modern times this is called Date R**e and is a crime in most countries.
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