The Doula Manda, London (2026)

04/03/2025

⭐ New Feedback ⭐

Riya* had a planned to birth in a local Midwife Led Unit, but after things progressed unexpectedly quickly it became clear that rather than risk meeting baby in the car on the way, we'd be safest changing our plans to support a home birth!
Thank you to Riya* for this lovely feedback and for trusting me ; we made the right call!

⭐ What she said about my support: ⭐

"I couldn't be more grateful for Manda's support through my unplanned home birth!

She arrived and quickly assessed the situation before gently explaining to me that we weren't going to make it to the birth centre.

I didn’t know what would happen but she sorted the TENS machine, called the midwives, spoke to a 999 call handler, gave me all the support I needed to manage the pain and keep the birth going smoothly, even made me laugh!

Manda was calm and confident and when the Midwives arrived she supported their work seamlessly and looked after us all afterwards. All those vital non-medical things that midwives on call wouldn't have time to do: making tea and breakfast, cleaning a patch of carpet, putting washing on, fetching clothes, letting us enjoy the moment without worrying about what needed to be done next.

She was exceptional.

For my family choosing a doula was money very well spent. 100% Would recommend."

*name changed for social media

03/02/2025

100% this👇🏼👇🏽👇🏿

23/03/2024

With little exception, when I mention I am still carrying my 3 year old whilst in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy I am met with a combination of surprise, (‘no! really?) and concern (‘is that safe?’)

So let’s break down those responses shall we? 🙂

Surprise.
In the UK we humans, despite being carrying mammals biologically, no longer have a carrying culture. Alongside that we have a strong concept of our country being the ‘default' / normal, when in fact we are one of a minority of WEIRD ("Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich & Democratic") countries.
It’s normal *here*, owing to a combination of industrialisation, technological and social reasons, to carry our children for a very short time if at all. It’s rare to see people still carrying into toddlerhood and rarer still to see a pregnant person carrying an older child alongside bump, or a toddler/infant tandem carry! But as Carrying Matters - Dr Rosie Knowles says on her site “It is worth reflecting on the fact that women around the world have, for many generations past, carried older children on their bodies while pregnant”

When you think about the world as spanning more than present-day UK, it’s actually pretty globally and historically normal to continue to carry your older child while pregnant!

Concern
Is carrying while pregnant safe? While all bodies and pregnancies are different, for the vast majority of pregnant people, yes, it is safe to continue to carry your older child while pregnant. Typically during pregnancy you are able to continue any exercise you have been regularly engaging in. Your body will have been strengthening in line with your child’s growing weight as long as you’ve been carrying them and will continue to do so as the pregnancy progresses. The only adaptations usually needed are to switch to central back carries where the weight is evenly loaded and borne high on the body to avoid the growing bump.

In the picture below I am using a woven wrap in a ‘ruck’. This is a central sitting back carry with all the weight taken on the shoulders, much like carrying a rucksack (and hence the carry name!).

Did you carry your older child while pregnant? What reactions did you get?

10/03/2024

Mothering comes in many seasons shapes, forms, genders and orientations but the golden thread that links us all is stronger than any minor surface differences. Happy Mother’s Day to mums of all makings and genders, birth mums, step-mums, second mums and bonus mums, adoptive and foster mums, the mums-to-be and mums in waiting, the single mums, the solo by choice mums, mums to babies and children who are no longer with us, those mums who go by other terms and names, and to anyone who finds today difficult for whatever reason.

You are ALL valid.

08/03/2024

The time has come!

Over the next 6-9 months I will be taking a break from supporting my clients and their families in my roles as
❤️ Birth and Postnatal Doula
🧡 Breastfeeding Counsellor
💛 Infant Feeding supporter
💚 Carrying Consultant
💙 Perinatal Mental Heath worker
💜 Psychotherapist
in order to focus a little closer to home - giving and receiving support under my most cherished title "mum"!

My family and I are expecting our newest arrival sometime over the Easter break 🐣 and I anticipate resuming my various roles in a staggered fashion between September this year and January 2025.

I would like to thank you all for your abundance of support and encouragement to date.

Warmest Regards,
The Doula Manda. x

📸 With thanks to the amazing Laura of for this glorious picture of 'bump'!

* I will be gently continuing my volunteer work on the Leadership Team of Doula UK (albeit with much reduced response times!) and baby's plans permitting I very much still hope to attend our amazing conference coming up! Fellow birth-workers, do check out our speaker line-up if you aren't already booked!

25/01/2024

Let's talk "babywearing" - or more correctly "carrying". This picture was taken just before Christmas. Edith, on my back, is nearly three. That's a newborn demo doll on my front and I'm about 28 weeks pregnant there as well. Oftentimes I get asked as a Doula about the 'best' carrier and the truth is that there is no 'best' only what is best for you and your child. There is a dazzling array of products on the market, some are phenomenal for specific circumstances, some are excellent all-rounders, and some - sadly - that fall below the safety standards we would expect. Some of these companies have huge marketing budgets, or excellent product placement.. some don't. So it can be very hard to know what is worth the money for your family. Perhaps you've asked some friends for advice though? But everyone is unique and what works wonders for your friend might very well be a poor choice for you. Factors that matter might include whether you are breastfeeding, what gestation your baby was born at, what percentile your baby is growth wise, if they have colic, the shape of your torso and shoulders, your injury and health history, what kind of birth you had if you are the birth parent ect ect.
That's why I co-run a community sling library and trained as a carrying consultant - to give you high quality information bespoke to your specific circumstances. If you want to know more about babywearing (even if your baby, like mine, is very much not a baby or is still cosy on the inside!) get in touch!

10/01/2024

Coming Up from me in 2024…

Available Jan-March '24

- Sling Library dates for free in-person support with a huge range of carriers, wraps and slings - see for all upcoming dates

- Bespoke Carrying Consults, one-to-one in-person or online support with babywearing, sling and carrier use, purchase and care, DM or comment for more information

- Babywearing Workshops, small group workshops on focused areas of carrying like woven wraps, back carrying or carrying while pregnant

- Infant Feeding support; one-to-one in-person or online support with breastfeeding, chestfeeding, combi-feeding, weaning or picky eating

- Psychotherapy and counselling for parents and pregnant people, most perinatal concerns covered including birth trauma, postnatal depression, postnatal anxiety, identity and relationship concerns, struggling introducing a new sibling etc

- CPD-Accredited workshops for birth workers and parent supporters working with Deaf and Hard of Hearing people, new Feb dates to be announced shortly

March-August '24

No availability.
I will be taking my maternity leave Spring/Summer

Sept-Dec 2024
I intend to stagger my return to work resuming my Sling Library volunteering and Psychotherapy practices first and following along with re-opening bookings for one-to-one feeding and carrying support, and finally returning to hosting full group workshops in early 2025. Details of my return will be posted to this account.

Birth and Postnatal Doula Support in 2024.
It is unlikely I will be able to offer birth or postnatal Doula support in 2024 but would review this on a case-by-case basis for any families who have a particular need for my specific areas of expertise.

I will be returning to offering full, intensive support for birthing people and new families in 2025

25/12/2023

Merry Christmas! I want to extend my warmest thanks and gratitude to all the families I have had the honour of supporting this year. Through my work as a full spectrum (fertility, pregnancy, birth and postpartum) Doula, through my work as a breastfeeding, chestfeeding and infant feeding supporter, through the Sling Library and my babywearing consultancy and as part of my voluntary role on the Leadership Team of it has been a busy and brilliant year!
And 2023 was made all the more special knowing that 2024 brings a quieter year professionally as I pause much of my work in order to focus on my own pregnancy and our newest arrival due this Easter.

With joy and comfort from my home to yours,
Merry Christmas
Love (The Doula) Manda ###

24/12/2023

On the twelfth day of Christmas my doula said to me, don't sweat the small stuff

It’s no secret that I believe it is important for us to stay true to ourselves, to honour our principles, and to feel equipped to continue parenting according to our values through holidays and family gatherings.

I also believe it’s vital not to get too hung up on the finer details.

You wont always phrase things exactly the way you wished, there’ll be comments you let slide that bother you later (and perhaps arguments started that you come to realise didn’t matter as much as all that). That, I believe, is the nature of family, of holidays, and of being human.

So sing with me....
On the twelfth day of Christmas my Doula said to me

.. don’t sweat the small stuff,
.. your script holds the impact,
.. present not perfect,
.. routines may not help,
.. let’s stop body shaming,
.. feeding choice is personal,
.. you can drink and breastfeed,
.. I didn’t ask!!
.. gratitude takes time,
.. share clear expectations,
.. just one little taste,
and
.. no, they don’t have to hold the baby!

I hope you have found some of the tips I shared useful, relatable or reassuring. My wish is that they help you to
have a holiday rich in connection, not perfection.

Happy Holidays!
Love from The Doula Manda.

If you have found this series helpful please consider
liking, following, and sharing it with a like-minded friend.

23/12/2023

On the eleventh day of Christmas my doula said to me, .. your script holds the impact

Not your great aunt Sue’s, not that TV show their cousins put on with the homophobic ‘humour’, not that shopping-centre Santa who told your toddler they “better not cry!”, yours.

It is inevitable our kids hear messages that run counter to our parenting ethos and we may worry our hard work is being undone or that they will be harmed by what they heard, but children inherit the vast measure of their understanding by watching us move through the world modelling and speaking our values consistently, not through one-time interactions with strangers or remote friends and relatives.

The comments can grate though, so here are some tips for responding:

Three tips for approaching unwanted messaging:

Provide counter-narration: if your child hears “you better not cry” you don’t need to address the source of the message at all, you can simply address the child with a message you are more comfortable with: “everyone cries sometimes, it’s part of being human - Santa knows that”

Ask them questions later: “That TV show said everyone has a mummy and a daddy, is that true?”, and hold space for exploration, providing counter-examples if needed.

Do nothing!: especially with older children, we don’t need to correct every piece of off-brand messaging, it’s enough to continue to uphold our values at home.

Which of these tactics do you use most often? Do you have others that work better for you?

22/12/2023

On the tenth day of Christmas my doula said to me, present not perfect

This one is for the parents with the lists and the schedule and the sense of perpetually being one more festive task away from a complete nervous breakdown.

I see you. I see that when you are doing it best it looks like nothing, but when you struggle it looks like you’re drowning.

When we find ourselves working at or just beyond our
capacity like this we simply don’t have the space to take on more mental/emotional labour. Yet our kids still need to borrow our emotional and regulatory capacity and for us to act an external processor for their immature brains.

What can we do?

Alternative: We can make a commitment to choose
presence over perfection.

If we try to achieve both we invariably run over capacity into dysregulation ourselves. We may speak or act in the heat of overwhelm and, inevitably, we feel horrible afterwards.

It isn’t easy to let go of our expectations. It can feel like a failure not to achieve all we intended but who we are is more important than what we do. So if you’re at breaking point, try to nominate some non-essential tasks you let fade away rather than disappearing yourself. Cards? Not this year.

What matters is we keep back enough cope for ourselves, and some to spare for our young children who need us. It’s a cliche for a reason; we can’t pour from an empty cup.

What tasks have you jettisoned off the to do list this year? I was absolutely adamant we'd declutter the worst corners of the house - go through and take out the things we've outgrown and make space for new toys / books / clothes but it's simply too big a job to tackle so you know what? I'm going to make a cup of tea and play pretend kitchen with my toddler in a room with overflowing bookshelves and toy mountains precariously balanced in all corners instead!

21/12/2023

On the ninth day of Christmas my doula said to me,. routines may not help!

I know, I know, the dominant message around holidays is that we must to stick to our children’s usual routines at all costs, lest things descend into unmanageable chaos. And let’s be clear, I’m not suggesting we abandon all boundaries and behavioural expectations here, just that when everything around us is changing, attempting to adhere ridgidy to that nap-time or meal-time schedule might not make sense.

So when most holiday activities naturally present a distinct change in energy and content from our standard days, it surely stands to reason that our usual routines might no longer serve us.

What is the alternative though?

Special occasion or not I advocate for attuned and responsive parenting over a robust routine. No humans are the same every day. Some days we are hungrier than others, more energetic, more outgoing, other days we need more sleep, don’t eat as much or desire more close-contact time.

During the holidays we may be consuming more energy-dense foods, spending less time outside, having more screen time, more social time, less one-on-one time and more sensory stimulation. These changes will naturally impact any routine you have that fits with the normal rhythm of your week.

Which is just to say, stay flexible and heed the advice to “maintain routine” with an open mind. Better to respond to where your family is in reality, than to where they usually are at 11.45am on a Monday.

How do your normal routines change around the festive holidays?

The Doula Manda

04/03/2025

03/02/2025

23/03/2024

10/03/2024

08/03/2024

25/01/2024

10/01/2024

25/12/2023

24/12/2023

23/12/2023

22/12/2023

21/12/2023

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