http://www.transformingwithexcellence.co.uk/

Transforming With Excellence, Brighton and London, London (2026)

22/04/2020

Create Your Day
One of the big challenges during this lockdown period is that of structuring your day to day life. For the majority of people a large part of the structure of their days is provided from without – you have to get up, eat and be out of the house at certain times because you start work at a certain time, you have to contact clients or customers by a certain time or you won’t get hold of them, you have to be at the school gates at a certain time to pick up your kid(s), and so on and so forth. A plethora of obligations that serve to give structure and focus to your day, and a panacea for entropy.
The current lockdown situation has thrown these structures into disarray. Lack of structure can lead to shifting sleep patterns, lethargy, listlessness, too much mobile gaming, and in extreme cases - starting an online blog. Conversely, creating structure and adhering to it helps you to keep your lifestyle and your sleep cycle healthy. It helps you to achieve the things you want to achieve with all that that entails. Those people high in trait conscientiousness (careful, diligent, hard-working), will more than likely have imposed some kind of structure on their day, as it’s one of the ways they understand and interact with the world. Those people who rely on it being externally imposed may have not.
Getting your day organised also gives you the opportunity to schedule time to do the things that you value, but never seem to do. If you wanted to learn an instrument or a language, if you enjoy painting, or yoga, you can schedule it in and make sure you do it. Rather than wistfully thinking ‘I always wanted to try that but never made the time.’ It would be amazing for people to be able to say in a few years’ time, some variation on ‘actually I only even started learning Zumba because I was on furlough and couldn’t leave the house, now I teach 3 nights a week.’
So, what do we do to impose that structure? Really that’s up to the individual. Some may like to set alarms and reminders on their phone, some people may want to recruit others to help keep them on track. Personally, I’ve been using an Excel spreadsheet with times for exercise, writing etc, that I colour code showing whether I’ve completed or haven’t completed an achievement. Whatever works best for you. In many ways it’s like being your own boss or mentor and being strict and pushing yourself to do the things you know will be good for you. Putting something like this in place is not only the healthy option (both physiologically and psychologically), but it could be the difference between coming out of lockdown with no idea what you’ve been doing for the last 4 weeks and a hangover, and coming out with a few achievements or long put off goals under your belt. You may even have set up a whole new vision for your future.

03/04/2020

The first subject I wanted to tackle over this lockdown period is anxiety. Anxiety is perhaps the most common psychiatric complaint in modern life; approximately a 3rd of the population will develop a ‘clinically significant anxiety disorder’ at some stage in their life (Barlow, Esler and Vitali 1998).
Anxiety encapsulates a multitude of symptoms, including inability to sleep and/or focus, muscle tension, irritability and fatigue. In it’s more severe form it can cause panic attacks with all the associated physical symptoms the attacks bring with them, and lead to the sufferer self-imposing a variety of restrictions on their own life in order to deal with it. Many people unconsciously self-medicate for their anxiety in different ways: substance abuse, obsessive compulsive behaviour, extreme responses to situations liable to cause or increase the anxiety, to name a few.
Anxiety is an unconscious active process. A non-anxious person may think about something that’s happening or something they have to do, and will make a rational assessment of the risk vs reward factors, the preparation required etc. A person suffering from anxiety will run the event/situation through a number of filters that distort the reality of the situation:
• They will think exclusively of the risks and dangers rather than the safety and the benefits, and massively overestimate them in both significance and likelihood.
• They will think only of the unknown and uncontrollable future they are worrying about, rather than remembering times things have gone right in the past.
• They will unconsciously create a distorted internal picture of the worst-case scenario, and unconsciously start to believe it represents the truth.
These filters are not only uncomfortable emotionally, but can also trigger the physiological responses mentioned earlier, which in turn make the person feel more anxious (psychology affects physiology affects psychology).
So, what can we do for ourselves to lower our anxiety levels? A good start would be to look at the filters described above and consciously bring them from distorted back to rational:
• Think of both the risks and dangers AND the safety and the benefits, be realistic about their significance and likelihood, and your ability to accurately assess them.
• Remember times things have gone right in the past, be aware that at some stage that past was the future.
• Consciously create a positive internal picture of the best-case scenario, and consciously believe it represents the truth.
Recognise whether there are things you’re doing unnecessarily to increase your anxiety and stop doing them. A good example of that at the moment is if you’re at home watching wall to wall coronavirus coverage! I’m not saying stop watching the news completely but do be aware of the effect the sensationalist media has and give yourself a break. Build relaxation techniques into your day, whether it’s certain pieces of music, physical exercise, meditation, it all helps. Count your blessings, tell yourself, out loud if you’re on your own, all the ways in which you are lucky, and you are safe (this is a lot more powerful than you might think). If you feel the physiological symptoms, bring them back under control, breathe deeply into your belly – in through your nose and a longer breath out your mouth - and consciously relax your muscles, it will be much easier for your mind to follow on.
If you are struggling with anxiety (or any other issue) I’m offering 45min sessions to speak to people during the current situation. If you’d like to speak to me please do message me and I’ll contact you back.

03/04/2020

Hello all, long time no…write? I’m afraid I didn’t keep up with this page as I’m really more of a 1 on 1 talker than a poster. However, with recent events being what they are, I thought I’d post a few messages in the coming days in case they help. I will also be donating 45mins a day, 4 days per week to speak to anyone struggling with their current circumstances, whether it’s being stuck in lockdown, anxiety over safety, feeling overwhelmed as a key-worker or carer; whatever the issue please do message me and I’ll contact you back.

21/04/2017

Good morning!!

25/06/2016

Hello all, since the referendum result on Friday I'm sure we've all noticed the lack of understanding and vitriol between the opposing camps. It's understandable as either way the result went, one group would be forced into a position which it feared being put in by the opposing group. Remain supporters feared (as they perceive it) being cast out into the wilderness with no idea of what the future held, Leave supporters feared (as they perceive it) losing the chance to break free from a failing organisation before it caused any more harm.

The two primogenitors of all human emotion are love and fear, they are the two emotions from which all other emotions are born. These emotions are generated by every living beings cardinal rule, survival. Our inherent and insatiable desire to feel safe and secure. Anything threatening that causes us to feel insecure generates fear, so anyone you encounter who is angry, disappointed and vitriolic; somewhere at the base of their behaviour is a person who feels unsafe, and wants to know things are going to be ok.

When your two choices are love and fear, it's obvious what the choice should be. So love and respect the people around you, whether you agree with their choice or not. Love and respect our friends in Europe, who we've fought with, collaborated with and grown up with as a nation. Remember that this is not an end to our relationship with the EU, it's a re-definition. Choose to look on what's happening with as much positivity as you can.

I belong to an organisation who have a rule in place to foster goodwill between its members, don't discuss religion or politics. When it matters and direct change can be effected, these things should always be discussed. If the only likely result of discussion will be disagreement and negative emotion, I would always choose to avoid the discussion in the first place.

Love to all, chin up and let's make whatever happens next work. For the good of us, the good of the EU and the good of the world as a whole.

08/10/2015

Ever wondered about herd mentality? How people in a group can sometimes all seem to decide to behave one way, whether right or wrong?

This is another lesser known heuristic known as 'social proof'.
This typically occurs in previously un-encountered social situations. When unsure how to act, people will look to those around them for social cues on how to behave - 'everyone else is doing it'.

For a great and entertaining explanation of how unintelligent this behaviour is, I turn to the incredibly funny David Thorne and his website 27b/6.

"I once read about five monkeys that were placed in a room with a banana at the top of a set of stairs. As one monkey attempted to climb the stairs, all of the monkeys were sprayed with jets of cold water. A second monkey made an attempt and again the monkeys were sprayed. No more monkeys attempted to climb the stairs. One of the monkeys was then removed from the room and replaced with a new monkey. New monkey saw the banana and started to climb the stairs but to its surprise, it was attacked by the other monkeys. Another of the original monkeys was replaced and the newcomer was also attacked when he attempted to climb the stairs. The previous newcomer took part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Replacing a third original monkey with a new one, it headed for the stairs and was attacked as well. Half of the monkeys that attacked him had no idea why. After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, none had ever been sprayed with cold water but all stayed the **** away from the stairs."

Knowledge of this heuristic suggests two things to me:

If you're missing information and aren't sure how to act, why not ask someone instead of trying to wing it? As the stoic philosopher Epictetus said: "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."

If you're part of a crowd who're taking action, don't just jump in with them. Act according to what you think is right, not what those around you think - "The IQ of a mob is the IQ of its most stupid member divided by the number of mobsters" - Terry Pratchett (last quote I promise).

06/10/2015

Have you ever felt like you constantly seem to be dealing with rude/angry people? Or been alarmed by the seemingly high frequency of terror attacks? Chances are your mind has fallen prey to another mental shortcut - the 'availability heuristic'.

This occurs when people judge the probability of events by how easy it is to think of examples.

How easily an example comes to mind however is less a reflection of reality as it is, more a reflection on how important/large it looms in your mind.

A good example is the perception that we often encounter rude people. The reality is that percentage wise we don’t, however they tend to be more memorable than the people who pass by with no problem.

So keep a close eye on your perceptions, deal with the facts, not the story you've told yourself.

05/10/2015

15% off therapy sessions booked by the end of November 2015, Now is the time to book!

Phobias, addictions, anxieties and limiting beliefs. All can be controlled, changed or eradicated. Don't suffer in silence. Please give me a call and let's discuss what I can do for you.

Michael - 07837 124 520

"It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean" - Tony Robbins

03/10/2015

Some time ago now I had the opportunity to take part in an online discussion on heuristics, so I thought I'd share the knowledge, and see who recognises them.

Heuristics are mental shortcuts employed by all of us on a daily basis to speed up or ease the decision making process. They enable us to make decisions based on limited or incomplete data swiftly and with minimal effort.

They can occasionally however lead to what are called ‘cognitive biases’ (irrational/illogical deviations in judgement).

This is why it’s useful to be aware of the process, when it breaks down you can pick apart the decision and solve the problem in a more logical way.

So I'll start with a favourite - the 'Escalation of commitment heuristic'.

This heuristic will be familiar to anyone who’s been involved on a bidding war (on e-bay for instance) It occurs when somebody justifies continuing to invest in a decision or course of action based on how much they've already invested, rather than on whether the continued investment outweighs the benefit of continuing.

For example - 'I've put £40 into this fruit machine, if I don't carry on and win I've lost £40'.

This, along with so called 'magical thinking' is one of the processes that keeps gamblers at the table way past the point they should have given up.

So keep a watch on yourself. If you feel like you're locked into doing anything with a payoff that's not worth it, take a step back, evaluate the situation - and be prepared to write off money/energy/time you've already invested in order to save more.

01/10/2015

Colours don't exist!

In NLP we pay a lot of attention to the internal filters people apply to 'reality' to create their own, unique models of the world.
I've just been reading about another filter we apply in a great blog by The Big Picture. This filter is applied in a biological sense rather than a cognitive one. When we observe different colours, we are really registering differing electromagnetic wavelengths of light. Our mind perceives these as different colours.

This filter is extremely useful for survival. The overwhelming majority of mammals are dichromats - seeing colours only on the yellow/blue spectrum. We, along with several other primates are trichromats - who see colours along the whole range.

So while an orange tiger against green foliage for a trichromat will look like picture 1, to a dichromat it will look more like picture 2.

Fascinating stuff! I guess the moral here is that the more of the picture you can see, the safer you are. Seeing things in black and white precludes us from perceiving the full, rich and varied spectrum of human behaviour - and makes that behaviour far harder to understand. So always maintain your flexibility of thought, and do your best not to get eaten by a tiger.

12/03/2015

I’ve always been fairly bemused when people are powerfully affected by the loss of someone they didn’t personally know, the outpouring of grief after Diana’s death springs instantly to mind. I understand this now, I feel like I did know him. So it’s with a heavy heart and enormous gratitude that I set out to write about Terry Pratchett.

Those who haven’t read his work may know him as an enormously successful fantasy author turned campaigner for the ‘right to die’ (the right our terminally ill pets have but we do not). For those of us who read his books and live in his world he is infinitely more. The Discworld evolved from a whimsical, humorous fantasy series to a sophisticated literary medium, through which Terry Pratchett explored the subjects that his boundless curiosity brought him to.

From the age of 11 when my brother introduced me to his first book, I was learning lessons. From how the economy works to the pagan meaning of Christmas, Terry Pratchett has taught me an enormous amount. Every one of his books is a learning experience, without you ever realising you’re being taught; try looking up the ‘Boots theory of socio-economic unfairness’ and you’ll see what I mean.

These books have been an integral part of my life for over two decades, even now every year at Christmas, I read The Hogfather (I’m sure I’m not the only one). I did not have an easy or pleasant adolescence (who does right?) The kinder, funnier world he created was where I went to escape from all that. I always had one on the go, even while I was reading other books. I will be forever grateful to him for making my life back then so much better, for giving me the joy and the rest I needed so badly.

I used to wonder how the Discworld series would come to an end, whether some kind of apocalypse scenario would s***f out Vetinari’s machinations, Rincewind’s extraordinary survival streak and Vimes’ stoneheaded refusal to lose. Improperly fermented Wow Wow sauce was a definite contender, as was the possibility of Corporal Nobby Nobbs removing his trousers. As it is, the Discworld spins on - its new stories untold. I find that comforting.
For my part, I feel so sad that I never got to meet him and thank him for everything. It just goes to show - if something’s important to you, make the effort while you still have the chance. One final lesson from my favourite author.

Sleep well Terry Pratchett, see you in the summerlands.

Transforming With Excellence

22/04/2020

03/04/2020

03/04/2020

21/04/2017

25/06/2016

08/10/2015

06/10/2015

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